David was reading my blog the other night. This NEVER happens and the only reason he was reading my blog was because I said, and I quote:
"Hey! You should read my blog so you can find out what we have been up to!"
Hint. Hint.
So, he does what he always does and acts like he doesn't know what a blog is and what the blog is called. He forgets how to type and doesn't remember that most websites end in ".com", so I have to do all the manual labor for him and I get him all set up to read my blog.
Because my end result is for him to want to read my blog. Without me forcing him to.
Why?
I don't know. But it seems important.
So, he starts reading and I start the difficult task of trying to pretend that I am not interested in his reactions to my posts. I busied myself with the dishes and kept glancing casually over to try and interpret his thoughts from his face.
Nothing.
Oh, well. What can you do? And then, THEN, he bursts out laughing.
Laughing, people! LAUGHING!
I abandon all attempts to remain cool and casual and rush to his side.
Me: What's so funny?! What part did you think was funny?!
Raise your hand if you think Taylor is a bit needy.
David: Erin's comment. That was hilarious.
Darn you, Erin. You stole my moment.
But that is neither here nor there.
I have a bunch of odds and ends to share with you.
I hope you have your party pants on!
***
When we were grocery shopping the other day, and I was beginning to lose ALL my patience, Handsome Dude put his hands in the air and loudly announced his siblings:
"Quiet, Ever-buddy! (everybody) Mom's feeling stressful!"
Atta boy.
***
When we were eating at a restaurant the other day, Handsome Dude starting talking about something, but I can't now recall what it was.
Oh, boy. That last sentence was riveting. Don't leave.
Anyways. That's not important. I told him that we couldn't talk about that stuff, whatever it was.
Cue Little Dude and his uber loud voice and complete disregard for manners . . .
Little Dude (shouting, because . . .why not?): MOM! WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT OUR *edited for maturity* UNITS!
(Sorry. I just can't type out the real word. But, lest any of you are conufsed, he said the actual word for the male private part.)
Me: Shhh!
Little Dude: IT'S RUDE AND ICKS-DUSTING TO TALK ABOUT *UNITS*!
Me: SHHHH!
Little Dude: I NOT SAY *UNIT*, YOU NOT SAY *UNIT* BRUDDER NOT SAY *UNIT* NO ONE SAY *UNIT*, OKAY?
I died a thousand deaths.
***
I am happy to report that Steam Boat Willie, the poor cat formerly known as Cougar, has returned to our lands.
We have not seen him and his awesome self, but have seen several mice carcasses.
Holla, Steam Boat Willie!
Holla!
***
I took Handsome Dude to the eye doctor yesterday. Shocking, I know. While they were trying to give him his eye exam, he loudly informed the nurse that he would not be reading any of the lines on the bottom 1/3 of the chart because he "didn't like them."
I told him he needed to try.
He still felt he needn't do anything.
He is so cooperative.
For the eye exam, my friend Melissa, not to be confused with Bimlissa, offered to watch my kids!
I was like, have you read my blog?
But, anyways. She did AND she made me a delicious Pioneer Woman recipe with pasta and zucchini and heavy cream for lunch.
Because everyone needs heavy cream every once in awhile.
Even those of us who are strictly following the Weight Watchers.
Melissa's mother in law stopped by to visit her grandchildren. She left for a bit and then came back. Little Dude decided that she should love him as much as her factual grandchildren and sat right with her while she tried to read her grandson a book.
At one point, Little Dude looked right at her and said:
"I missed you"
When she was leaving, Little Dude shouted:
"Bye, Grandpa!"
Bless her heart, she didn't even appear offended.
***
David brought home a vast amount of huckleberries last night.
And by vast, I mean 3/4 of a gallon.
The best part?
While he was tediously picking, I was at home reading a book!
And this morning, I feasted on Cheerios sprinkled with hucklberries.
Delicious.
And I didn't even have to be afraid of the bears.
***
And, in conclusion, I shall post a picture of my face.
This way, you can determine if I do have a "unique" and "different" face, like the uber weird stranger at the grocery store thought.
I'm not very photogenic sometimes.
See?
Alright.
So that's my face.
Happy Thursday!
PS-I would like everyone to know that I was supposed to hang out with MindyLouHoo on Tuesday when my truck broke down and, as a result, I broke her heart by robbing her of the opportunity to see me and my unique face.
PPS-Is that better, MindyLouHoo?
*UNITS* hahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteIs your AC fixed yet? How hot is it there? Is the Excursion fixed yet? I would not could not drive here without AC, we might die.
Hi! I'm one of those annoying people that read your blog but never comment. But now I am! I just moved to the country (from a city... it's been interesting) and have been having fun picking berries down the road... we have blackberries and elderberries. But I don't know what a huckleberry looks like. Can you put a picture up of a huckleberry, for us un-informed types?
ReplyDeleteAnd I love your blog. It cracks me up every day.
I think you have a very pretty unique face as do all your children....I loled at the "unit" post...omgosh you poor thing.
ReplyDeleteBlessings Kelsie
I love Cougar...he is very loving.
ReplyDeleteHe loves cat treats too!
Every family needs a "little dude". My hubs says he reads my blog first thing every morning at his office. He gets his coffee and reads and is disappointed if there's no post. He usually tells me what he thinks over dinner. Such is the exciting empty nest life.
ReplyDeleteYou can call the cat Steam Boat Willie, but you can't type the word? I may have been living in the UK for too long. Ah for Willie to just be a name:)
ReplyDeleteDid he say "unit" or did he actually say (I am so going to type it! I am going to do it to prove it's not a bad word! I'm working myself up. I can do this. Nope. I just wimped out!) the real term?
ReplyDeleteHahaha, at the unit thing. Gotta love kids. And husbands.
ReplyDeleteThat lady with the whole face thing is still blowing my mind. Whatever possesses some folks to speak? Weird. You look gorgeous, my dear.
David should read your blog because:
ReplyDelete1) You're really a good writer and we all like to have our strengths recognized and possibly complimented.
2) Your blog is funny. Really funny. And who couldn't use a little bit of humor after a long day of doing electrician type things?
3) It would make you happy. Happy wife=happy life (I didn't make that up.)
Penis! Penis! Penis!
ReplyDeleteDavid is missing out on some serious fun by not reading your blog! It's best for him to come home and immediately help you, however! Maybe before the evening snackfest begins, he has to read your blog, That's right, I'm suggesting holding out on the M&Ms until he reads it!
I loved this post, had me "lol"ing all over the place (as the kids might say).
ReplyDeleteCxx
I love your boys. Seriously, nothing that funny ever happens to me. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are right. Party pants were needed for this post!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it nice that your children are not repressed or suffering from social constraints and thus are perfectly able to express themselves?
It would be nice if LJ just read your blog on his own. provided positive facial expressions, the occasional chortle and appreciative words for your obvious talent. But. He is a man. He needs to be told what, when and how. And then be praised for it. Why? See Genesis ch.2-3. I'm not bitter, it's just the truth.
I think it was nice of you to state the purpose of your visit to the big city on truck break-down day: park play time with MindyLou - thereby giving her a moment in the spotlight. Some people need more attention than others . . . It's usually me.
I hate when my husband reads my blog and sniffs through the whole post and busts a gut at someone's comment. Killjoy.
ReplyDeleteAnd I feel your pain with the whole, "let's say the verboten word as many times in public as we can" deal.
Itty Bit was a fan of "Percy" from Thomas the Train. Except it sounded like the opposite of the male unit. And he wailed through the store, "But I want my PERCCCCCCCCCYYYYYYY!"
Feel better?
Don't laugh David.
You crack me up ~ as do your kiddos. My husband doesn't read my blog unless I ask him to read it. Sometimes I send him an email with the link and tell him to read a specific post. No, I don't see anything unique or whatever that crazy weirdo said about your face or your kids. You're a beauty and your kids are so cute!
ReplyDeleteHis "I missed you "made me spit coffee. I love those kids of yours. I also do that with my husband who never reads my blog until someone else comments about it to him. I wait for his reaction to see if he thinks I am as hilarious as I think I am. He usually doesn't. He is wrong.You , me... we are hilarious.
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful. Nevermind what spiteful people may say.
ReplyDeleteYour kids make for hilarious blog posts, but I thank God that my child is so quiet in public. I couldn't handle my own Little Dude. Ha ha...
Units? Hahaha!!! You are strong, God knows you can handle the funniest things!
ReplyDeleteMy husband doesn't read my blog either. I suspect he has too much of us in real life.
Thank you. I feel loved. And I am apparently very needy too. ;)
ReplyDeleteI honestly feel so much better that your husband doesn't read your blog, because so many other bloggers' husbands do read their blog and my husband's attitude is: I know what you are up to, I live with you and you tell me.
ReplyDeleteWhat ever happened to Front Bottom and Back Bottom?
ReplyDeleteI like that Handsome Dude said he wasn't going to read the bottom line because he "didn't like them". I like his approach, I can't tell you how many times that would have felt good to say to various doctors!
ReplyDeleteI also love that your children use the term "unit". Cracks me up!