So. We went to the dump the other day. Or the "refuse station," if you are more proper-like. And I am not. The dump can be an exciting place.
I've spoken before of "dump-shopping," no?
Well. Here in these parts, people will leave items out of the garbage that other people can take. I think it is kinda gross, but have you met my husband? Getting free stuff at the dump makes his heart sing. Although I would be lying if I didn't say I was pretty joyful when he brought me home 40 mason jars that someone just FOOLISHLY abandoned. Mason jars are more precious than fine rubies.
Teller needs mason jars. So she can fill her pantry with preserved meat.
Oh, the horror!
Bored Hillbilly Tip #1: Go the dump and get yourself something snazzy.
Last time he was dump-shopping, he found an old fishing net. Fishing nets are all the rage at our house. We use them to catch fugitive rabbits. And wouldn't you know it, but as soon as we came home from our Dump Shopping Adventure, we used the "slightly-used" net to catch four baby bunnies.
Catching bunnies is surely a treat! The whole family gets involved. I am sure we look completely normal running around the lands with large fishing nets and hollering for excitement of it all.
Bored Hillbilly Tip #2: Git yerself a net. Catch yerself a hare.
Sister Meagan came over this week. She got to experience farm and ranch life at its finest.
At one point, we noticed the dogs "chewing" on a hen.
Fantastic.
We got the dogs away and I went out to deal with the poor bird when I noticed the poor bird was no longer lying dead in the driveway.
Odd.
Sister Meagan and the girls spotted the not-so-dead hen hiding between the house and our aluminum fishing boat.
Oh! Fun fact. David has this aluminum fishing boat that he NEVER uses. We just move it around from place to place so it can add curb appeal to our house.
Bored Hillbilly Tip #3: Find a boat at a garage sale. Buy it, but don't plan on using it. Insist it stays with you always, just to miff your wife.
So the hen was alive, albeit grumpy-looking. I, being the experienced farm and ranch wife that I clearly am, decided to move the boat. My plan was to move the boat away from the house and then get a . . . wait for it . . . fishing net to grab it and carry it back to safety.
Bored Hillbilly Tip #4: To spice things up a bit, use your fishing nets to catch poultry as well.
Who knew fishing nets were so versatile?
*Excuse me while I interrupt this post to speak to my beloved*
David! Here's an idea. GO FISHING. Take the boat and the fishing net and GO FISHING.
That is all.
***
As soon as I lifted the boat, which was not light, the bird crawled underneath it. Which was a problem. So, Sister Meagan had to come and help me lift the boat and we basically made things worse by leaning the boat on the poor chicken's neck.
Don't judge us! We couldn't see! We couldn't see!
The chicken lived and as soon as we lifted the boat again, it dove under a pig trough.
What's that?! Oh! Have I not told you? My husband brought home a very large, orange pig trough about two years ago.
Why?
Because he can.
It sits next to the fishing boat.
Bored Hillbilly Tip #5: Find a pig trough. Bring it home, for no other reason than because it was free.
Maybe I should plant flowers in it or something?
So, anyways, Sister Meagan and I felt bad about the hen, but we were afraid we were causing her more harm, so we let her be. We went and checked on her a bit later and she looked not-so-alive.
Bummer.
Well, we went to town that night and got home late. I informed my husband of the dead hen's location and he went to retrieve it.
And good news! The hen was alive!
See?! I AM a good farm and ranch wife! I AM!
I know, I know. My life is weird.
Well, we don't do such crazy things everyday. This week we went to water park with Aunt Amy. Amy and I were matchy-matchy with our gray and white striped tanks.
I fear Amy wants to be just like me.
See?
We don't LOOK like hillbillies . . . . do we?
Oh, man. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever get used to this life.
I gotta go. David left some more chicken meat for me to preserve today.
*sob, tear, wail, moan*
And then, we are going camping.
Holla!
I'm guessing that your in-town neighbors probably don't miss the boat or the pig trough.
ReplyDeleteNo - you don't look like hillbillies you look lovely. :)
Hmmm...I think I cleaning fish and butchering hogs might be in your future : ) On the bright side you definitely don't look like a hillbilly! Have a nice weekend!
ReplyDeleteWe used to have a dump like that around here. I loved it! (sorry) A few years ago the government closed them all down. I still miss it!!! Holla! :)
ReplyDeleteOne too many I in that comment. Bother.
ReplyDeleteHey, I saw you "for reals" that day!
ReplyDeleteYou must not be too hillbilly (yet! hehe) because if you were you'd have skipped the water park laughing at all the people playing in water downstream of that herd of buffalo! :)
The photo of you guys at the water park is too cute. I love water parks & I can't wait till my kids are old enough to take! That chicken experience makes me cringe. You'll have to tell us how all that meat turns out. Have you tried it, yet? Does it have the consistency of canned chicken? I'm quite curious about this.
ReplyDelete<3 <3 <3
Hee, hee, so we see pigs in your future as well?
ReplyDeleteI 'd get busy and plant something , anything in the pig troughs if I were you ! or hide them under the boat that he never uses.
You all do look so civilized, are you sure you aren't making these stories up?
Dump shopping sounds cheap anyway....maybe you could take the pig troughs there for someone else to use?
You can sell the aluminum boat for scrap.......he hasn't taken up "scrapping" yet has he?
Line the boat and pig trough with plastic, fill it with dirt and grow you some gorgeous flowers. Like sweet peas and daisies. Set them artistically where you can see them out your windows. So pretty and when winter comes, they can still be used for their original purposes or holiday items like cunning little firs and red geraniums and shrubs with colored winter foliage. 2. That's a lucky ass chicken. 3. When I had foot surgeries, I went to the Mt. Shasta dump and got a free wheelchair, cleaned it off and didn't have to pay for a temporary situation. In the big city there is no access to things like this that I know of and nothing's free - either to drop off or pick up. Free is good. It's recycling too. You don't look like hillbillies. Hillbillies only have a few teeth.
ReplyDeleteThis is genius...But why do you simply not freeze the chicken?
ReplyDeleteInquiring minds want to know.
I meant the post was genius...the fishing net repurposing mates me so happy. (wiping tear from eye...)
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh . We had to look at the canned chicken again!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCanning chicken sounds hot and gross. Look up "Dump Chicken" and find recipes to freeze chicken in sauces to cook on the grill or in a crockpot. It usually consists of putting chicken in a freezer bag (without bones) and adding ingredients to the bag and squishing it around, not as much work as other freezer cooking to prepare and not as much work for thawing and cooking. Had you told the hen about this, perhaps she would have stayed away better...
ReplyDeleteI agree with Katherine.
ReplyDeleteI must try to pilfer one of Captain Ahab's million and one fishing nets. Who knew the could come in so handy out in the country??
You sure do know how to live life fully.