2010: The Final, Funtastic Chapter

I am sure that you have all been on the edge of your seats wondering what on earth happened in my life during the months of October, November, and December.

And I am sorry to have kept you in such suspense.  These recap posts take time, you know.

To catch up, click here.  Then here.  Then here.

October

1.  During the beginning of October, our world seemed to go all crazy like.  We had two vehicle breakdowns, an appliance that broke, we lost around $1000 worth of beef due to a child leaving the freezer open, and we were still sad about losing our Mabel dog.

Plus we had mice living in the trunk of our Honda.

Look at the cute nest they made!

2.  My sister swooned me and took me on a date to see the play Oklahoma!

My hair looks horrific in the above photo.  I don't get out much.

Fun Fact:  Did you know that when you speak of the play, Oklahoma!, you must always use an exclamation point after writing it?  It's true.  It really is.  Oklahoma!  See?  I did it again.

3.  I gave you all step by step instructions on how to be a superb hunting wife.  It was a wealth of information.

4.  Little Dude refused to wear pants for one whole day.

These are some exciting times out here in Ruralville.

5.  We brought Lucy into our lives.

Sure.  She looks cute.  But she is uber naughty.  Sandy gave me the greatest idea for a nickname for Lucy when she is being naughty:  LucyFur.

Holla, Sandy!

Holla.

Fun Fact:  Lucy peed on my carpet just this very evening.

LucyFur.

Although I must mention this:  The very week we brought Lucy home, I caught her chewing on a mouse body.

Disgusting, I know.

Nevertheless!  Since that darned dog has come into our lives, I have not seen one, nay, not one living mouse.

Holla, LucyFur!

Holla.

6.  I had a funtastic time making applesauce with my inlaws.

We made like 5,968 quarts.

We are spectacular.

And when I say we, I mean they. 

Fun Fact:  Did you know that in lieu of spending 8 hours making our own applesauce you could, in fact, purchase some at your local grocery store?  Who knew?!

7.  I shared this fun photo with you all.

Drool if you must, but I will not lend you my shiny, colorful shower curtain-like outfit.

8.  I had a minor panic attack when I realized that Halloween was mere days away and I had not costume for any of my children.

9.  I asked you to all pray for my unborn niece, Grace Elizabeth.  And I was overwhelmed by the response I got from you.  Thank you for all the prayers and kind words.  I know it meant a lot to my brother and sister-in-law, as well. 

Your continued prayers are still appreciated.   Grace is due around the first of March and has been diagnosed with Trisomy 13.

“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give away and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea . . .

Be still, and know that I am God.”

(Psalms 46:1, 2, and 10)

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 

He determines the number of the stars and calls them by name.

Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.”

Psalms 147: 3-5

November

1.  The beginning of November brought beautiful, gorgeous weather.

2.  I showed you all my lagoon.

Did you know that in Ruralville, "lagoon" is code for sewage/cess pool?

Don't pretend you aren't jealous.

3.  I shared with all-you-all's how to properly take an epic picture of your husband with his trophy buck so he can preserve the glory for all eternity.

Take a picture that looks like this:

Not so much this:

4.  I told you the story of my husband and the pig.

That story was true.  And it was priceless.  And it captures the essence that is, my husband.

Unfortunately.

5.  The end-ish of November brought tons of snow.

I learned that our new driveway is about the length of a football field.

I learned how to use a snowblower.

I learned that I can, and do, make long underwear look good.

7.  Thanksgiving!

We were invited to the Clothed Open House hosted by the nearby Nudist Resort.

We declined, regrettfully.

8.  Engaged!

Jason and Amy got themselves engaged!

And thus endeth November.

Hang in there, peeps!  We are almost done!

December

1.  I spent days trying to figure out how to upload this darn video.

I am happy to report that it is still cute.

2.  We had our family pictures taken.

3.  We discovered that Lumberjacks can smile.

4.  We took a road trip to a wedding.

Whilst on the road trip, we stopped to see the ocean.

And my marmee asked me for help with the making of her Christmas card.

5.  My girls were flower girls.

6.  Our Christmas tree was dying a slow and messy death.

7.  Christmas!

8.  Sweet Pea turned 8!

And that concludes the year 2010.

Thank you to everyone who reads this silly rubbish of mine! 

It is appreciated!

Later, dudes!

Monday Night List.

I do not have the necessary attention span required to finish my 4th installment of the year end recap at this time.

Therefore, I shall not.

But, don't worry, you little readers, you!  I'm on it tomorrow like dots on dice. 

Yes.  That was dumb.

And now, a list.

1)  I, yes, I, Taylor Maliblahblah am flying to Tennessee on Thursday morning to visit my dearheart friend, Bimlissa.

2) I, yes, I, Taylor Maliblahblah am getting nervous.  What shall I do on the plane?  I am flying alone.  Poor me.

3)  I am sad to leave my kids.  There.  I said it.

4)  All day today, all I could think about was how I did not have one second of quiet time.  All day.  And yet I don't want to leave them.  Clearly, I am a glutton for punishment.

5)  We started up school again today.  Again, why I am I sad to leave?

6)  The Lumberjack had the day off today.  This is rare.  So, he had the boys most of the morning and he even took over some of Daisy Mae's lessons whilst I taught Sweet Pea.  And today still seemed overwhelming and I wish we could have done more. 

7)  Such is the plight of this homeschooling marmee.  Woe is me.

8)  I almost had a meltdown when I had to wash off raw pork chops.

9)  Sweet Pea turned 8 on Friday.  Woe is me.

10)  I saw Tangled for her birthday.  It was, in fact, fantastic and I cannot wait to see it again.

11)  As we were leaving Tangled, another gal hit my car.  It was not her fault.  She slid on the ice.  Once she made contact, Sweet Pea and company screamed and asked me if they were still alive.

12)  Turns out being 8 is drama filled.

13)  Is there humidity in Tennessee?  In January?  My hair no likey humidity.

14)  What if Bimlissa forgot how annoyingly lame I am in real life?  Perhaps she shall put me on the plane early, no?

15)  I heart SkipBo.

16)  Do you heart SkipBo?

17)  Do you know what SkipBo is?

18)  I ate a lot of peanut M and M's today.

19)  Apparently I didn't get the memo that I was starting Weight Watchers again today.  For reals.  Or realz.  Whichever you prefer.

20)  Little Dude tooted and noticed it for the first time today.  He laughed and laughed and yelled, "That's funny!  My bum goes plbbbrrttt!"

Fun Fact:  I do not know how to type out a tooting sound.  I went with plbbrrttt.  You may improvise as you see fit.

21)  My husband just started a western.  Woe is me.

22)  I will bet you all one whole dollar he will fall asleep. 

23)  What did the girl volcano say to the boy volcano?  Do you lava me as much as I lava you?

24)  I am wasting your time tonight, aren't I?

25)  I know!  You can vote for me!  I am in this contest, you see.  A contest that lasts until  NEXT OCTOBER.  So that's fun.

Click on this link.

Find my blog.  It is called The Lumberjack's Wife.

Do not be fooled.  I am not really married to a Lumberjack.  I just feign to be.

Click on the thumbs up sign by my name.  This is how you vote.

If you get distracted and vote for a better blog, I will understand.

Thank you and goodnight.

Susie Fantastic.

Yes.  Hello.  How are you?

Welcome back to my thrilling year end recap.  Of which I did not get done in time for the year to end.

Such is life.

To catch up please click here and then here.  In that order.  Or else.

July

1.  Gladys was voted in by you, dear readers, to be the COW mascot.

You may ask, 'Taylor!  What is the COW?"

The COW is short for Comment of the Week.  My dear pretend-friend, Mindee, coined the phrase.

You may also exclaim, "Taylor!  You are such a liar.  You don't do the COW every week."

I know, dear readers.

I know.

I am a very fickle girl and only announce a COW when I am feeling frisky.

Rest assured, being a COW is about as exciting as finding a wart.

2.  On July the 8th, The Lumberjack and I celebrated our factual 10 year wedding anniversary.

And I wrote a helpful, albeit pointless, post on How to Lose a Guy in Ten Years.

Ah.  The glory days.  The days when my husband would highlight his hair.

Young Lumberjack, young Lumberjack, wherefore art thou, O Young Lumberjack?

3.    This atrocity happened:

Oh. Be. Still. My. Heart.

4.  The Parachute Incident

It was a proud, wifely moment of mine.  A moment where I threw a fit and informed my husband, as well as everyone in a ten mile radius, that, and I quote,

"I NEVER WANTED THIS KIND OF LIFE."

Good times.

5.  I spent lots of time with my dearheart friend Bimlissa, as she was soon departing for mean, old Tennessee.

I am on the left, Bimlissa is on the right.

This was the one season in our friendship where I *think* I weighed less than Bimlissa.

Attention Bimlissa:  Neener, neener.

Lest any of you are confused, her name is really Melissa.  Keep up!

6.  I posted the recipe for my favorite chocolate cake.  Yum!

7.  I discovered every single wall in my house is not, in fact, beige, like I had originally thought.

Nay.

The house is peach.

8.  And, of course, we went camping.  Here are some photos.

You know.  To rock your world.

Tell me, dear readers.  Was your world rocked?

Was it?

For the love of Pete, July has gone on long enough.  Let's move on.

August

1.  In August, I was starting to struggle with all the huge changes we had made in our lives and the general craziness that the year had brought.  I found this verse and clung to it:

“Yes this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him”

Lamentations 3:21-24

2.  More camping.  But now, we have introduced "The Search for The Holy Huckleberries" to our camping adventures.

You see, dear readers, my inlaws are all insane.  Oh, sure.  You might think your inlaws are insane.  But mine really are.  It's true!  They actually like to camp and go without showers for days on end.  They get all tingly inside when they fall trees.  They bike.  They hike.  They climb.  They boat.  They fish. 

Ok.  Maybe they aren't insane, per say.  Perhaps they are just exhausting.

I mean, come on!  Can't we just sit and eat every now and then?  Why all the activities?

In my book, exercise=insanity.  Therefore, they are all insane. 

Bonus Joke:  My inlaws strip regularly on Thursdays.

hardy.  har.  har.

Simmer down, peeps.  They are professional furniture restorers.  Get your minds out of the gutter.

What was I talking about?

Huckleberries. 

They also really like huckleberries.  Yes.  Huckleberries are delicious.  But they are a pain in the hiney to pick.  I LOATHE it.

Hours upon countless hours of wretched picking.

And for what?

Like 10 berries.

For the love of everything, just buy them at the Farmer's Market.

3.  More camping photos.  Again, to rock your world.

Yes.  We slid down rocks whilst wearing garbage bags.  Didn't you?

4.  If you were reading my blog in August, or at least paying attention, you might remember Raul.

I heart Raul.

Here is the Raul segment:

When we go camping, we don’t always stay in a campground.  In fact, we would prefer not to.  But for this trip we did stay at one and the campground put on little events in the evenings that the kids enjoyed going to.  One such event was called “Birds at the Lake.”  The leader was from Portugal and had a slight language barrier, but he did a great job and it was very fun and entertaining.

I shall call him Raul.

Simply for the fact that Raul is a fantastic name.  Of which I am not certain I am spelling right. 

I think Raul may have transposed the letters in “Oh” . . .

thoughts?

He had about 3 or 4 songs with the word “ho” in it!  Too funny.  Or at least I thought it was funny.

He shared with us all sorts of fun bird facts, with a sprinkling here and there about bears.

And now, dear readers, I would like to present to you:

Raul’s Bear Story.

Raul:  I went to state park south of here.  I was walking and bird watching when I noticed movement in bush.  I was not scared.  I had my pepper spray.  You know, seasoning?  And that is my bear story.

Alrighty then.

5.  I switched my blog from thelumberjackswife.wordpress.com to www.thelumberjackswife.com

Why?

Who knows.

6.  My husband turned 30.

7.  He is old.

September

1.  In September, I took a much needed blogging break for a bit.

Does anyone else's blog wear them out?  Does anyone else feel super paranoid?  Does anyone ever want to just delete their whole blog and pretend it never existed?

Is anyone else tired of getting asked any of the following questions:

"Why are you called The Lumberjack's Wife?"

"I thought your husband was an electrician?  I am confused?"

"Why do you write in a blog?"

"What is a blog?"

"Do I have to be on Facebook to see it?  I hate Facebook."

"What is a holla?"

"What is Ruralville?"

"Is that funny?"

"I used to read your blog, but I don't have time."

"Oh, do you still write in that silly blog?  I haven't looked at it in months.  Have you read Susie Fantastic's blog?  She's so inspiring!  And she takes great pictures!"

"Do you make money?  No?  Why are you writing this?"

Oh, no.  I have never heard any of that stuff.  I was just curious if you ever had.

Can we all see why Taylor needed a blogging break?  No?  Yes?  No?

2.  We started homeschooling.

3.  We found baby mice in our utility trailer.

4.  Mabel, our smelly dog of 10 years started to get sick.

5.  Picture Day!

It did not go well.

7.  I was forced to dress up like a Pirate.

Then Kimberly called me Pirate Barbie.

So I showed her this picture to make her eat her words.

Take that, Kimberly!

8.  I spent the entire day chasing after a bunny.  And I threw a fit.

9.  My poor Mabel dog had to be put down.

10.  She and the bunny were both buried on the same day.  It was a bad day to be an animal in Ruralville.

And thus ended September.

Happy Late Sunday Night That I Am Up Blogging But Should Be Getting My Beauty Sleep!