Happy Veterans Day! Thank you to all who have served and are serving our country. My grandparents both served. They are gone now, but I have many wonderful memories of them.
My friend Erin's husband is currently deployed. I cannot imagine how hard this sacrifice must be for them. So, thank you.
***
It is 12:55 pm on a chilly Friday afternoon and I have not done my hair, nor my makeup.
Gasp if you must.
What do I care? No one sees me. I showered. I am wearing real clothes, not sweats. We are going to church in a bit and I shall make the necessary preparations before departure.
So, just a bit ago, I was doing the boys' Bible lessons with them. Which isn't as easy as one might think.
Me: Who wrote the Bible?
Little Dude: NOT me!
Poor guy. He is kinda always in trouble for something. He wanted to make sure he didn't get blamed for something else.
Me: No. Dude. Not who wrote IN the Bible. Who wrote the Bible?
Little Dude: Oh. Ummm. Jesus? God? Jesus and God? Hmmm. God.
Me: That'll work.
Handsome Dude: Mom. Are you a different Mommy today?
Me: No. I am the same Mom you have always had.
HD (short for Handsome Dude . . . keep up, people!): Why does your hair look like that?
Me: I just didn't fix it yet. Why?
HD: It not look good, Mom.
Me: Ok. Thanks.
HD: It looks cranky. You can't go to church. The people will be scared.
He said that. I kid you not. And I wasn't planning on blogging today, but I was afraid I would forget that lovely conversation with my son, the fruit of my loins, so I hopped right onto the computer to forever record this horrific memory in time. "Fruit of my loins" is a disturbing phrase.
I need coffee.
I have still given up the creamer. It's not so bad, although the sky is no longer blue, the sun no longer shines, and I never hear birds singing amongst the trees. But I'm sure I will get used to it.
I had to go to Handsome Dude's parent/teacher conference last night. This may confuse you, as I claim to homeschool. And I do homeschool the girls, but I outsource the education of the boy. Because I have cranky hair and no creamer in my cup and something has to give, you know?
I kid! I jest! He is in preschool, but I will homeschool him when he is in kindergarten and the other boy will go to preschool next year.
I know. It confuses even myself.
So, I went and was all afeared to hear what the teacher was going to say. And no, I do not know if afeared is an actual word. I blame the black coffee. Now, Handsome Dude has eye problems. This we knew to be truth. And I recently switched him to a different doctor in the big city and she completely changed his prescription for glasses and told me that his little brain was going to have to relearn images.
I know. It confuses even myself.
So, Handsome Dude is a bit behind. The teacher was telling me that he does not try to draw or write anything, he just scribbles.
Me: I have noticed that.
Teacher: So, that's just something we will all keep working on.
Me: So . . . is he . . . well-behaved in class?
Teacher: Yes!
Me: Mmmm-hmmm. And if you try to, oh, I don't know, help him with his drawing, does he let you?
Teacher: What do you mean?
Me: Well. If I try to help him, he yells and shouts and gets frustrated and throws himself on the floor with his little hiney in the air and then pretends his legs no longer work and lays there like an infant for a few minutes before getting up again at the table. Does he do this for you?
Teacher: No! Never! He is such a little sweetheart! A delight!
What.
A.
Punk.
Me and my cranky hair are gonna get that kid writing letters. Even if it kills me.
Let's do a COW. Because I am trying to avoid starting school again this afternoon.
Deb wrote:
One time I had jury duty for 4 days and I accidentally got derailed from homeschooling for 6 weeks.
True Story.
I have NO idea how that could happen.
Alright. I'm gonna go get all handsome on a curling iron.
Later.
hahahahah...handsome on a curling iron, you kill me taylor...really, you do.
ReplyDeleteI've got a lil' bit of cranky hair going myself today. But there is no one old enough to give me a hard time about it at home. Thank goodness for the little things. And good luck with those letters ;)
ReplyDeleteOne of my children (who shall remain unnamed) attended preschool. And the discussion I had with his teacher at our conference was almost verbatim the discussion you had with HD's. Punks, indeed.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, "fruit of my loins" is a disturbing phrase. I almost averted my eyes.
I'm famous!
ReplyDeleteI loved your conversations with the boys. Very funny.
I like the cow this week.
ReplyDeleteMy hair is often cranky.
Have a great weekend!
Cranky hair. THAT is priceless.
ReplyDeleteThe teachers of my son always claimed he was also such a sweetheart. I ask you, why do they save the throwing oneself on floor and gnashing of teeth for the one who birthed them? Why, oh why, I ask? I think we shall never know. But I will tell you, he has grown up into a fine, reasonable adult. As will your beloved HD. Promise.
ReplyDeleteI think you should continue outsourcing the boys' education as a test group, and the bonus is next year it'll just be you and the girls! I kid! I jest, but seriously HD is working you with his lil fanny fits!
ReplyDeleteFull of funny this post is. (Say that again in your best Yoda voice; it's better.)
I'd say that new prescription is working out just fine if he can tell the difference between happy hair and cranky hair. Perhaps he was scribbling cranky hair pictures?
ReplyDeleteHa ha! The dudes are hilairous! I have to share a story, while I was pursueing your blog, Grace was reading along over my shoulder. She was focused on reading the bio's on your family, this is what she read: "David, the Lumberjack. Who is, in fact, excellent." Ha ha! She cracks me up.
ReplyDeleteThe COW! Finally! I save all my best material for you, Taylor, it's terrific to be recognized.
ReplyDeleteSo, is there like, a prize package or something?
I am sorry that it has been FOREVER since I have commented here. I've been involved in being busy. Working at the skating rink does that this time of year. Time just flies away and I don't notice. Anyway, I laughed while reading this... a lot. I always do with your posts :) Thanks for putting a smile on my face this evening.
ReplyDeleteahh... leave him alone - he's an artist - he's precious and he's HD! (your other grandpa also served)
ReplyDeleteTry straight up, real fattening, totally creamy and delicious cream. It'll change your life. And no sugar calories. As a bonus feature it replaces the calcium in your bones the coffee takes out. (I have no idea if that's really true, but I run with it!)
ReplyDeleteoh my gosh! what a crazy morning for you! my hair gets that way too :-/
ReplyDelete