It is cold outside.
How cold is it?
It's so cold that my son's cheeks look like this:
Oh, he is livid, isn't he?
Poor baby.
His mother dragged him all around town running errands.
His cheeks were red, his fingers were purple, and his snot was frozen to his upper lip.
I think he needs a cookie.
But, truly, it is frigid out there.
How frigid is it?
It is so cold that my daughter's hair looks like this:
Static hair.
My girls and I will be sporting this hair-do from now until April.
5oo billions points to anyone who can tell me the cure for winter static hair.
Oh, it is biting cold out there.
How cold is it?
It is so cold that my car looks like this:
Actually, I shouldn't refer to this beast as a car.
The term "rig" would suit it better.
Yes.
My poor diesel rig does not like this arctic chill.
It has trouble starting up in the morning.
So, the Lumberjack took an extension cord and plugged in my car.
Does anyone else have to plug in their car?
But if he doesn't plug it in, it will not start.
And I find the "starting" feature to be an asset.
Him: I'll plug it in for you, but you seriously cannot drive away with it still plugged in.
Me: I won't.
Him: No, seriously. You cannot drive with it still plugged in.
Me: I said I won't. But what would happen? Would the house get damaged pretty bad?
Him: I mean, I am not worried about the house if you do, but I am worried about the car.
I think his priorities need to be realigned.
Me: Ok. I won't.
Him: Seriously. You can't.
I am starting to get the feeling that my Lumberjack does not trust me.
So, here's what happened this morning:
It is 2 minutes before we are supposed to leave.
I bundle up to go start the rig.
Ideally, I should have done this 15 minutes before I had to leave.
I fear I am not punctual.
I go outside and unplug my rig.
See, Lumberjack.
I am not an idiot.
I then try and start the car.
Turn the key.
Now, my stupid car has this stupid "Wait to start" light.
Who has time for this?
Certainly not me.
After about 15 seconds, it goes off.
I try to start it.
It's not happening.
We repeat this process 4 times.
Because I have all the time in the world.
Finally, the beast starts.
I race back into the house.
I had already gotten the dudes ready to go.
But in my absence, Little Dude has taken off his shoes and socks, and is eating his socks.
Handsome Dude has taken off his jacket and attempted to put it back on himself.
The jacket is stuck on his body, upside down, and he is running through the house screaming with fury.
The girls, who were supposed to be brushing their teeth, are singing Christmas songs and checking themselves out in the mirror.
My daughters are the apples of their own eyes.
They could spend hours just looking at themselves.
That's healthy, right?
So, per usual, we are late.
And such is the story for every . single . morning.
But goodness gracious, it is freezing outside.
Speaking of Christmas songs, my all time favorite is O Holy Night
I also really enjoy Baby it's Cold Outside.
It is quite fitting for our current weather conditions.
What's your favorite Christmas song?
And, in conclusion, I would like everyone to give a nice round of applause to the Lumberjack.
For, you see folks, my Lumberjack works outside everyday.
No matter how cold.
No matter how windy.
He is out there, working hard and long days to provide for us.
Poor Lumberjack.
I fear he might become a Lumberjacksickle.
