Monday, January 3, 2011

Monday Night List.

I do not have the necessary attention span required to finish my 4th installment of the year end recap at this time.


Therefore, I shall not.


But, don't worry, you little readers, you!  I'm on it tomorrow like dots on dice. 


Yes.  That was dumb.


And now, a list.


1)  I, yes, I, Taylor Maliblahblah am flying to Tennessee on Thursday morning to visit my dearheart friend, Bimlissa.


2) I, yes, I, Taylor Maliblahblah am getting nervous.  What shall I do on the plane?  I am flying alone.  Poor me.


3)  I am sad to leave my kids.  There.  I said it.


4)  All day today, all I could think about was how I did not have one second of quiet time.  All day.  And yet I don't want to leave them.  Clearly, I am a glutton for punishment.


5)  We started up school again today.  Again, why I am I sad to leave?


6)  The Lumberjack had the day off today.  This is rare.  So, he had the boys most of the morning and he even took over some of Daisy Mae's lessons whilst I taught Sweet Pea.  And today still seemed overwhelming and I wish we could have done more. 


7)  Such is the plight of this homeschooling marmee.  Woe is me.


8)  I almost had a meltdown when I had to wash off raw pork chops.


9)  Sweet Pea turned 8 on Friday.  Woe is me.


10)  I saw Tangled for her birthday.  It was, in fact, fantastic and I cannot wait to see it again.


11)  As we were leaving Tangled, another gal hit my car.  It was not her fault.  She slid on the ice.  Once she made contact, Sweet Pea and company screamed and asked me if they were still alive.


12)  Turns out being 8 is drama filled.


13)  Is there humidity in Tennessee?  In January?  My hair no likey humidity.


14)  What if Bimlissa forgot how annoyingly lame I am in real life?  Perhaps she shall put me on the plane early, no?


15)  I heart SkipBo.


16)  Do you heart SkipBo?


17)  Do you know what SkipBo is?


18)  I ate a lot of peanut M and M's today.


19)  Apparently I didn't get the memo that I was starting Weight Watchers again today.  For reals.  Or realz.  Whichever you prefer.


20)  Little Dude tooted and noticed it for the first time today.  He laughed and laughed and yelled, "That's funny!  My bum goes plbbbrrttt!"


Fun Fact:  I do not know how to type out a tooting sound.  I went with plbbrrttt.  You may improvise as you see fit.


21)  My husband just started a western.  Woe is me.


22)  I will bet you all one whole dollar he will fall asleep. 


23)  What did the girl volcano say to the boy volcano?  Do you lava me as much as I lava you?


24)  I am wasting your time tonight, aren't I?


25)  I know!  You can vote for me!  I am in this contest, you see.  A contest that lasts until  NEXT OCTOBER.  So that's fun.


Click on this link.


Find my blog.  It is called The Lumberjack's Wife.


Do not be fooled.  I am not really married to a Lumberjack.  I just feign to be.


Click on the thumbs up sign by my name.  This is how you vote.


If you get distracted and vote for a better blog, I will understand.


Thank you and goodnight.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Susie Fantastic.

Yes.  Hello.  How are you?


Welcome back to my thrilling year end recap.  Of which I did not get done in time for the year to end.


Such is life.


To catch up please click here and then here.  In that order.  Or else.


July


1.  Gladys was voted in by you, dear readers, to be the COW mascot.



You may ask, 'Taylor!  What is the COW?"


The COW is short for Comment of the Week.  My dear pretend-friend, Mindee, coined the phrase.


You may also exclaim, "Taylor!  You are such a liar.  You don't do the COW every week."


I know, dear readers.


I know.


I am a very fickle girl and only announce a COW when I am feeling frisky.


Rest assured, being a COW is about as exciting as finding a wart.


2.  On July the 8th, The Lumberjack and I celebrated our factual 10 year wedding anniversary.


And I wrote a helpful, albeit pointless, post on How to Lose a Guy in Ten Years.


wedding


Ah.  The glory days.  The days when my husband would highlight his hair.


Young Lumberjack, young Lumberjack, wherefore art thou, O Young Lumberjack?


3.    This atrocity happened:



Oh. Be. Still. My. Heart.


4.  The Parachute Incident



It was a proud, wifely moment of mine.  A moment where I threw a fit and informed my husband, as well as everyone in a ten mile radius, that, and I quote,


"I NEVER WANTED THIS KIND OF LIFE."


Good times.


5.  I spent lots of time with my dearheart friend Bimlissa, as she was soon departing for mean, old Tennessee.



I am on the left, Bimlissa is on the right.


This was the one season in our friendship where I *think* I weighed less than Bimlissa.


Attention Bimlissa:  Neener, neener.


Lest any of you are confused, her name is really Melissa.  Keep up!


6.  I posted the recipe for my favorite chocolate cake.  Yum!


7.  I discovered every single wall in my house is not, in fact, beige, like I had originally thought.



Nay.


The house is peach.


8.  And, of course, we went camping.  Here are some photos.


You know.  To rock your world.



here it is sorry it took so long. i did have any internet access


Tell me, dear readers.  Was your world rocked?


Was it?


For the love of Pete, July has gone on long enough.  Let's move on.


August


1.  In August, I was starting to struggle with all the huge changes we had made in our lives and the general craziness that the year had brought.  I found this verse and clung to it:


“Yes this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:  Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  I say to myself, ‘The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him”


Lamentations 3:21-24


2.  More camping.  But now, we have introduced "The Search for The Holy Huckleberries" to our camping adventures.


You see, dear readers, my inlaws are all insane.  Oh, sure.  You might think your inlaws are insane.  But mine really are.  It's true!  They actually like to camp and go without showers for days on end.  They get all tingly inside when they fall trees.  They bike.  They hike.  They climb.  They boat.  They fish. 


Ok.  Maybe they aren't insane, per say.  Perhaps they are just exhausting.


I mean, come on!  Can't we just sit and eat every now and then?  Why all the activities?


In my book, exercise=insanity.  Therefore, they are all insane. 


Bonus Joke:  My inlaws strip regularly on Thursdays.


hardy.  har.  har.


Simmer down, peeps.  They are professional furniture restorers.  Get your minds out of the gutter.


What was I talking about?


Huckleberries. 


They also really like huckleberries.  Yes.  Huckleberries are delicious.  But they are a pain in the hiney to pick.  I LOATHE it.



Hours upon countless hours of wretched picking.


And for what?


Like 10 berries.


For the love of everything, just buy them at the Farmer's Market.


3.  More camping photos.  Again, to rock your world.





Yes.  We slid down rocks whilst wearing garbage bags.  Didn't you?


4.  If you were reading my blog in August, or at least paying attention, you might remember Raul.


I heart Raul.


Here is the Raul segment:


When we go camping, we don’t always stay in a campground.  In fact, we would prefer not to.  But for this trip we did stay at one and the campground put on little events in the evenings that the kids enjoyed going to.  One such event was called “Birds at the Lake.”  The leader was from Portugal and had a slight language barrier, but he did a great job and it was very fun and entertaining.


I shall call him Raul.


Simply for the fact that Raul is a fantastic name.  Of which I am not certain I am spelling right. 


I think Raul may have transposed the letters in “Oh” . . .



thoughts?


He had about 3 or 4 songs with the word “ho” in it!  Too funny.  Or at least I thought it was funny.



He shared with us all sorts of fun bird facts, with a sprinkling here and there about bears.


And now, dear readers, I would like to present to you:


Raul’s Bear Story.


Raul:  I went to state park south of here.  I was walking and bird watching when I noticed movement in bush.  I was not scared.  I had my pepper spray.  You know, seasoning?  And that is my bear story.


Alrighty then.


5.  I switched my blog from thelumberjackswife.wordpress.com to www.thelumberjackswife.com


Why?


Who knows.


6.  My husband turned 30.


7.  He is old.


September


1.  In September, I took a much needed blogging break for a bit.


Does anyone else's blog wear them out?  Does anyone else feel super paranoid?  Does anyone ever want to just delete their whole blog and pretend it never existed?


Is anyone else tired of getting asked any of the following questions:


"Why are you called The Lumberjack's Wife?"


"I thought your husband was an electrician?  I am confused?"


"Why do you write in a blog?"


"What is a blog?"


"Do I have to be on Facebook to see it?  I hate Facebook."


"What is a holla?"


"What is Ruralville?"


"Is that funny?"


"I used to read your blog, but I don't have time."


"Oh, do you still write in that silly blog?  I haven't looked at it in months.  Have you read Susie Fantastic's blog?  She's so inspiring!  And she takes great pictures!"


"Do you make money?  No?  Why are you writing this?"


Oh, no.  I have never heard any of that stuff.  I was just curious if you ever had.


Can we all see why Taylor needed a blogging break?  No?  Yes?  No?


2.  We started homeschooling.


3.  We found baby mice in our utility trailer.



4.  Mabel, our smelly dog of 10 years started to get sick.



5.  Picture Day!



It did not go well.


7.  I was forced to dress up like a Pirate.



Then Kimberly called me Pirate Barbie.


So I showed her this picture to make her eat her words.



Take that, Kimberly!


8.  I spent the entire day chasing after a bunny.  And I threw a fit.


9.  My poor Mabel dog had to be put down.



10.  She and the bunny were both buried on the same day.  It was a bad day to be an animal in Ruralville.


And thus ended September.


Happy Late Sunday Night That I Am Up Blogging But Should Be Getting My Beauty Sleep!


 

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Short and Succinct

Here is the second installment of my fantastic recap of the year 2010.


I hope you have your party pants on.


April


1.  I made fun of people who wear socks with sandals.


It is against everything I believe in.


But then . . . then I remembered this photo:



and I had to eat humble pie.


2.  Also in April, I lived through two horrifying experiences:


A)  I had to take my boys with me to the doctor's office and they watched me pee in a cup.  It was magical.


B)  We made the most disgusting, epic entrance to a birthday party.  Ever. 


3.  Handsome Dude peed on my dryer.


4.  We started to get busy with our last home remodeling projects in hopes of moving out.


And when I say "we," I, of course, mean The Lumberjack.



"We" worked on the kitchen.



"We" worked on the yard.


And "we" worked on the laundry room:



I focused in on the wrong stud.


5.  Handsome Dude began insisting on dressing himself daily.



To this day, he still forgets to put on socks and puts his shoes on the wrong feet.


And I am too tired to care.


6.  Are you thinking that the "April" section is getting too long?


You are not alone.


7.  After two months of waiting and wondering, we discovered that the bank would accept our offer on the Ruralville house.


And thus began the longest, most worrisome, closing period known to man.


8.  I started a Facebook page for this blog. 


9.  The Lumberjack brought home some deer antlers and Handsome Dude tried desperately to find someone to help him, "Bix da Elk."



May


1.  I had my one year blogging anniversary.


2.  Handsome Dude got, yet another, new pair of glasses.



Of which he has taken superb care of.


Not.


3.  I took my boys on a walk.



We saw many feathered friends, all of which my boys called, "Ducks! Quack!"


Fact Check:  This was from when we lived at our old house.  This is not, I repeat, not Ruralville.  Ruralville does not have sidewalks.


4.  I took Daisy Mae shopping with me and made the mistake of allowing her into the fitting room with me.


Oh, for the poking!


Oh, for the questions!


Oh, for the chubs!


5.  Sister Meagan graduated from college.



And Daisy Mae was taken to the ER.  So, that was a dull trip.


6.  Little Dude learned the parts of the body.



7.  We took our first camping trip.





8.  "We" were still working on our house.



June


1.  "We" finished "our" projects.



Actually, the Lumberjack finished his projects.



I was just there to be his eye candy.



Or something like that.



2.  Handsome Dude put the hangers away for me.



He is uber helpful.


3.  We officially closed on the Ruralville house.



4.  Daisy Mae graduated from Kindergarten.



5.  My grammy died.



6.  Little Dude turned 2.



7.  Between the move to Ruralville and getting our other house ready for vacation rentals, The Lumberjack and I experienced a bit of stress.


Serenity Now.


8.  I turned 29.  For the first time.


***


Wow.  That post was short and succinct.


Tell me, dear reader . . . what was something memorable you did in the year 2010?


Happy Thursday!