I am making mashed cauliflower and sticking it into decent mashed potatoes tonight. For health reasons. Of course.
Says the girl who can't lose weight. Ever.
I am debating as to whether or not I should inform the family of this farce of mine? Probably not.
I'm also making ELK MEATBALLS.
Says the girl who won't eat elk.
My husband is taking FOREVER and a day to get home from work. It's kind of inconvenient for me. I am really quite lonely out here all by my lonesome, so I shall blog, even though I have not one thing to say. Unless you count the whole intro on cauliflower. As exciting as it was.
Little Dude. He's something else these days. He is quite obsessive with the alphabet. So, for kicks and grins today, we "played" ABC's.
He's actually blending some cvc words. Oh, and yes, you should be impressed at my usage of "cvc" right there.
He does pretty good. His accuracy rate is about 50%. So he's probably just guessing. But let me have my moment. It's the only thing I have to be proud of. Other than my previous usage of "cvc" and my soon-to-be epic cauliflower mash.
The astute reader might notice that the boy is without shirt.
Tis true. I took it away from him. He is constantly chewing on his clothes. Like way really bad and ruining them. So, he can't have them anymore. Yes. Brilliant parenting on my part, no? But what can you do? You can't allow your child to eat his clothing, can you? That's crazy talk.
Little Dude tried to take a swipe at Handsome Dude's glasses today. Therefore and henceforth, I gave him a bag and told him to pack up his beloved "ABC's."
He took it well, don't you think? He has some killer molars. That reminds me. I am supposed to call the dentist. For like two months now.
Everyday I wake up and say to myself:
"Teller. You must call the dentist. This is the day! Do not forget! Your teeth might fall out!"
And everyday, I fail myself. I have some sort of strange receding gum line condition and the dentist has warned me that if I do not get it fixed, I might lose teeth. Which would be inconvenient, for sure. But it is really inconvenient for me to make a phone call, you know? Plus I am living in fear of the upcoming ER bill from HD's little accident. I might have to pick between losing my house and losing my teeth.
Well. It is 6pm and I STILL have not gotten the "call." You know. The call that let's me know my dashing Lumberjack is on his way home?
Once I get the call, I shall have an hour before he gets here. This is good, because it shall give me time to hide all evidence of the horrors that shall be happening to the cauliflower.
But I am sooo lonely. I even texted Bimlissa and told her I wanted a baby . . . just to see if she would text/talk to me.
No response.
Maybe I will text her and tell her I am moving to Tennessee.
Says the girl who is in dire need of attention.
Later, dudes.
Igualmente
ReplyDeleteI, too, am lonely. I, however, did not feed my children mashed cauliflower-potatoes. I fed my children hamburger helper. I did use ground turkey, so I should get some points for being healthy! My husband is out-of-town, so I am lonely and parenting by myself. I do not live in Ruralville, but that is not necessarily a good thing. Just wait until you have to take your daughter shopping for a dress. You cannot agree on the proper length of said dress. Neither side shall acquiesce, but since I have the ultimate weapon of the cold hard cash, I will prevail! So, I sit here exhausted from my shopping trip which yeilded no dress. I have no husband to complain to because he is in another city eating at a restaurant with no one to order off the kids meal. All this to say, I feel your pain! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. :(
ReplyDeleteAcquiesce is a fun word! I might need to steal it!
ReplyDeleteI swear that last hour before Brent got home was always the longest. Now, I'm the last one home.
ReplyDeleteAnd that sucks too.
I'm just never happy.
I'm sorry about your lonesomeness!
ReplyDeleteI hope you get some good quality time in this weekend!! :)
Hide the califlower! Remember the elk in the lasagna incident? :)
ReplyDeleteSuggestion: maybe give your boy a piece of elk jerky to chew on! Two positive things might emerge from this...1. clothes that last longer and 2. less elk for you to deal with!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh. I know I can always count on you to make me feel human at the end of a LONG child-filled day!
GAH! I have a child who eats his clothes TOO!!!! Makes me CRAZY! But, the minute I jerk his shirt out of his mouth, his fingers go in. No, he's not sucking on them. Just rubbing them around making weird saliva noises. He does this while I'm reading Sonlight to him. Have you ever tried to focus on what you're reading with someone making weird saliva noises? It's not possible. At least the shirt thing is a little quieter.
ReplyDeletePlease report back on the response to the cauliflower mash? Did they eat it? Did anyone notice the change? That picture by the fridge is diabolical and hilarious at the same time. Hope you have a nice weekend, free of visits to the ER or the glasses store.
ReplyDeleteTaylor,
ReplyDeleteAmy and I were talking and I was wondering if you have seen your cat?
Hayden used to chew his shirts too. He could eat the whole neck out of one while watching a TV show. Made me crazy!
ReplyDeleteSo, maybe buy some shirts at Goodwill and let him chew away at home?
ReplyDeleteStrangely, I now want to taste my clothes, just to see if I'm missing out.
ReplyDeleteMy son chews his shirt and then removes it because it is "yucky". ? How do you think it got that way? Hm? Sorry you were lonely last night. Funny how we are never alone (not even to use the facilities) and yet can be lonely. Oh the need for some adult conversation, even if it is just the husband's grunts in response to our flow of words. May today go much faster for you!
ReplyDeleteI, too, am anxious to see if your cauliflower subterfuge worked. Please report back post-haste.
ReplyDeleteclothes don't taste that good. Why do they constantly want to do that? and it squeaks in your teeth! That just gives me the shivers! AAAAHHH!
ReplyDeleteAnd now I want to go eat my puffed corn!
Yep, even though I brushed my teeth, I am going to eat my puffed corn! (and maybe NOT brush my teeth! How's that for letting me teeth fall out?)
Loren also used to chew his clothes, too. His meds help, but before that the OT at his school recommended we let him have gum and it worked. Because it was so special he did a good job not swallowing it or putting it in weird places. Some stressful days he'll ask for a piece because he feels like he wants to chew his clothes. Also, jumping on a trampoline and swinging helped him with it, too. It is basically a response to sensory over-stimulation helping them deal with it. I recommend the books "The Highly Sensitive Child" and "Raising Sensory Smart Children". They gave me good insight into all my kids and also taught me stuff about myself that I didn't realize!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're lonesome. I hope your cauliflower was indeed epic. My family loves cauliflower so I'd have no need to disguise it in potatoes but whatever works I say. I hope you have some fun and company this weekend.
ReplyDeletep.s.-Call the dentist.
Wouldn't clothing be high in fiber and healthy?
ReplyDeleteI hope the Lumberjack called and arrived home soon. Sorry about your lonely night. Hope you have a good weekend.
ReplyDeleteAnother vote for telling how the subterfuge cauliflower turned out. I am thankful that my daughter doesn't chew on their clothes and also loves cauliflower. (She still however sucks her thumb...I have yet to order that stuff you told me about...I forgot what it's called. :) )
Call the dentist!
My son had a child stepstool and clean washcloths by the sink that he could go wet whenever he wanted and he chewed on them. Probably teeth problem. Isn't it a little cold up there in the arctic circle where thou dwellest? Sorry bout the lonliness deal, I have x actly the same problem. I am brother-in-arms with LD, I collect compound words, I love words and letters too!! Here's one: asphalt.
ReplyDelete