You may ask, "Taylor! What on earth is Fat Tuesday?"
Well. I would describe it as a accountability day for those of us who are trying to meet some healthy diet/fitness goals. Anyone is welcome to join in anytime. Also, anyone is welcome to bail anytime.
See!? I am super hard core and will help you be accountable.
I am going to pump you up.
Let's go through this week's Wins/Fails, shall we?
I actually followed the Weight Watchers plan and I even tracked in my handy dandy points tracker thingie-ma-bob.
WIN!
Except for on Saturday. Saturday was kind of a free for all.
Fail!
And Sunday.
Fail!
But the rest of the week was golden!
WIN!
I lost one pound!
Super Duper Shocker WIN!
I exercised with my friend Leslie Sansone two, count them, two times!
Surprising WIN!
I even walked the entire four mileseach time. Without skipping. Or quitting early.
WIN!
Except for the stretching. I always skip the stretching. Who needs it?
Serene and Soothing FAIL!/Time Saving WIN!
On Saturday, I hauled a lot of brush and branches for my darling, Lumberjackish husband. I will count this as exercise, cause I certainly can't count it as fun.
WIN!
I also cooked elk meatballs.
Good Wifey Win!
Sanity Fail.
I ate garlic bread. Yum!
FAIL!
I ate a second piece of garlic bread.
Fail!
I ate 3-5ish more pieces of garlic bread, depending on how truthful I am feeling.
FAIL!
I was 4thplace in the Biggest Loser Contest I joined. But my friend SHELLY messed up with her math calculations and I was really 5th.
Shelly FAIL!
And, for all you smartie-pantsies out there who are snickering, NO, there are not FIVE people in the contest. There are TEN.
ThankYouVeryMuch.
So, how about you? Did you meet your goals? Do you have any yummy, lowfat recipes to share? Any fun exercise ideas?
Did you also eat garlic bread?
Let us know in the comments section. If you have your own blog, leave the link to the post in the comments section if you would like, or just check in with a comment.
Happy Tuesday!
PS-I also ate a french fry. Or seven. But it was off someone else's plate, so it doesn't really count.
Don't you all go over to her site at once. We wouldn't want to crash it now, would we?
That was a joke. And a darn good one, I might add.
Please note: I would never add all those toppings that she so carelessly throws on her pizza. My husband would scorn me for the foolish woman that I was for serving a vegetable on a pizza.
And please also note: My pizza crust doesn't quite look as good as hers does when I make it. So, I probably don't make it right.
However, with the right amount of cheese, anything tastes good.
10. When I make spaghetti now, I must make it the meatball form. Why, you ask? Well. It is much easier to spot elk when it is in the ball format that when it is just ground up into the sauce. The ball assists in my attempt to lead an elk-free life.
11. I ate a lot tonight. I fear I think garlic bread is my friend, when, in truth, it is not.
12. The exercise DVD I did yesterday was Leslie Sansone's 4 mile walk. I should probably do it 7 times tonight on account of the garlic bread.
13. I made my lowfat brownie/cake recipe thing again tonight and I realized that in my original post, I gave the wrong amount of water.
Oops.
This just goes to show you that none of my recipes can be trusted.
If you are still foolish enough to try it, just follow the recipe on the back of the brownie mix box, but substitute unsweetened applesauce for oil and egg whites for egg. Throw some light cool whip on top and call it good.
My apologies for originally stating you need 1 cup of water, when in fact, you needed only 1/4 cup.
I am sure it wouldn't really matter.
14. A lot of you made me laugh yesterday. And I had to pick two COWS.
Donna-Man is wee scary. Do not open the door. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Maybe I over embellished his crazy-ness and now everyone is worried.” Am I right? Yes I am. I don’t care. Do not answer the door. Right now, immediately, do two things. 1) write that man a note explaining the Donna situation to him and put it in your mailbox. 2) Hide snacks in Little Dudes windowless room. The next time he comes to the door, just yell through the door, “You’ve got a note in the mailbox!” Then hide yourself and your kids in Little Dudes windowless room and live on the snacks until the Lumberjack comes home. Or you could just shoot him. Now I’m not sure. Crap.
Even Sir Lumberjack laughed at that one. And Hoosier gets 100 meaningless points for saying wee scary. Cause that means she retains the pointless information I throw at her on a regular basis.
Holla, Hoosier at Heart!
Holla.
***
Today was another fun-filled Saturday out here in middle-of-nowhere-ville.
The Lumberjack got bored.
This is never good.
Our property has tons and tons of brush and bushes that he hates. So, he plans on clearing it all out.
Yes. All 20 acres of it.
His plan is to trim them down with his chainsaw and then burn them.
I think we got 1/600th of the land cleared today.
And when I say "we", clearly I mean "we" because, yes, I was out there hauling branches to the burn piles like the helpful wife that I am.
And my arms now feel like Jell-O, on account of the massive muscle it takes to do anything with that man.
1. I am tired. I suspect it is because I had the audacity to wake up at 5:45am and do an exercise DVD. Which was asinine, on my part.
Fun Fact: Did you know that when you say "asinine" it sounds like you are being a potty mouth, but you really aren't?
It's true!
And I looked it up, just to be certain.
2. After we did our morning school session, I decided the house was in dire need of a massive clean up.
3. I scrubbed the tub and shower and the toilets and the floors and vacuumed and did laundry.
4. This was also asinine.
5. I had plans to also organize a bunch of junk that is all junked around and to maybe even tidy up my closet.
6. But I have instead collapsed on my bed. And since I was just on the computer to send in some school stuff, I decided to blog all about nothing.
7. Lucky you.
8. Would it be weird if I took a bath right now? I certainly don't have to worry about any surprise company popping in.
9. However. Two times in the past month, a strange man has come to my door demanding to know where Donna is.
10. I know not this Donna of whom he speaks.
11. Do you know Donna? Maybe you can help him. He seems certain that she should be here. He's slightly frustrated with me and my lack of knowledge about said Donna. I am afraid next time, he might use potty language.
12. I might get a table with eight chairs tomorrow off of Craigslist. Does this excite you as much as it excites me? If not, did you notice the part where it said EIGHT chairs?
13. We are having people over for dinner next Saturday night and they have four children, so it would be nice to be able to seat at least half of the people.
14. Four children! Can you believe some people? I mean, come on. Enough is enough.
15. Poor Little Dude. He is stuck in the high chair until we get a new table. For we can't fit everyone at our current table.
16. Poor Little Dude. He is also stuck in a crib until we are able to get him into his own room.
17. Poor Little Dude. We have to put a window into this aforementioned room before he can sleep in it. According to my handsome and dashing Lumberjack, this will require a concrete saw.
18. Raise your hand if you did not know concrete saws existed.
19. The boys were playing hide and seek last night:
Handsome Dude: Cokey. You sit here on the couch and I find you!
Little Dude: O-Tay! Come and get me!
Handsome Dude: O-Tay! Just a minute!
Handsome Dude runs down the stairs
Handsome Dude: One, Two, Free, Four, Seben, Nine, Firteen, Firteen, Firteen, Twenty! Here I come!
Handsome Dude runs back up the stairs.
Little Dude: I'm on the couch!
Handsome Dude: I found you! O-Tay! My turn! I hide on the couch and you come and get me! O-Tay?
Little Dude: O-Tay!
My boys are bright, yes?
20. Someone once asked me on this very blog why Little Dude is called Cokey. Well, Handsome Dude has a hard time saying Little Dude's factual name, so he just calls him, "Cokey,", "Cokes," "Cokey-da-bear", and "Co-Co." So, if you hear me say any of those names, just make sure to remember it is Little Dude. And if you know us in real life and cannot remember which one is Little Dude, then you will have to refer to the helpful pictoral guide located on the right sidebar of this here blog.
Keep up, people!
21. I have recently purchased new, albeit cheap, bubble bath at the not-so-local-anymore Walmarts. I thought you might need to know this. In case you were still debating about whether or not I should take a bath.
21. Why do I clean my house? It is all in vain. I bet it already looks messy. I am just too tired to get up and look.
22. This is a good reason why people shouldn't exercise. I mean, if they have to get up at 5:45 in order to escape the cranky-morning-children-and-their-demands-for-chocolate-milk to be able to exercise in peace and they are so exhausted from having to move so much at such an ungodly hour, then I ask you, dear readers, What Is The Point?
23. I am hungry for a snack.
24. I might make pizza tonight. If I can get up off of my exhausted bum and go prepare the dough.
25. Oh, yes! I must make my own. For we have not pizza deliveries in Ruralville. Nor do we have Donna.
26. This post has gone on long enough.
27. Drat. I have two "21"'s. That's a shame. Now I look like an idiot.
Nothing much going on over here in my world. Today was a wonderfully, perfect day.
It's strange that I just said that, isn't it?
I'll give you a moment to recover.
The day went fantastically. And I don't know if fantastically is a word. But today was so fantastically wonderfully, it is worth the error.
School went great! We got so much done in the earlier part of the day, which was a nice change.
Usually the morning involves much weeping and wailing and time outs and poopy diapers and discipline and naughtiness and weeping and wailing and complaining and pooping and crying and truck throwing and pooping. So it is sometimes hard to focus on the academics.
We took a break around lunch time and the kids played outside while I got to be inside ALL BY MYSELF.
Letting the kids play outside "unsupervised" is somewhat foolish on my part.
Earlier this week, the kids got out their sleds and tried to "boat" across the giant puddles. (All of our snow has melted and has resulted in several giant puddles/small-ish ponds around our property.)
The boating events caused the children much joy and jubilation. And it caused me much laundry.
Anyways. It has been nice to let them play outside.
Today, the older three even ate their lunches outside.
And I was able to watch them through my kitchen window.
Aren't they the cutest?
The boys went down for a nap and the girls and I got back to school. And just when we were about to start science, my dearheart friend Bimlissa called.
Now, normally I try not to answer my phone during the school hours.
However.
It is rare that I actually speak to someone on the phone and not text. So when I saw it was the real Bimlissa, and not the messaging version, I just had to pick up.
So. Science was quickly switched to coloring time whilst listening to books on CD and I got in a nice chat with a real person.
Don't judge me.
I'm lonely.
The girls were hoping to learn all about how babies were made today in science.
Yeah.
So I consider Bimlissa's call to be an act of God.
Then my husband came home. And he took the kids out to build a tire swing.
Two periods of ALONE time in ONE day?! Can you believe my luck?
Here they are trying to find the perfect spot.
Little Dude came back in before the others. I like to think it is because he misses me and loves me the mostest. But he was probably just cold.
He helped me make brownies.
I know, I know. I am supposed to be watching what I eat.
But guess what I did!?
I took one brownie mix. Then I added 1/2 cup of applesauce, two egg whites, and 1/4 cup of water.
Mixed it all together, put it in a 13x9 pan and baked it at 350 for about 20 minutes.
I let it cool, then spread light cool whip on top and added sprinkles.
It was a hit with everyone, even my husband.
True. I did not tell him that it was lowfat. And if he knew, he would not have tried it.
But that man would love dessert every night and I am hoping to make healthier choices.
If you have some healthy/low fat dessert recipes you would like to share, I would love to hear them!
I am sure you have all been dying to know if I went to the large women's event today.
Just to clarify, it was not an event for "large" women, as some of you were mistaken.
And I thank you for that.
Whatever.
I stayed home.
I woke up to a very cheerful husband. He was listening to his odd Chris LeDoux jibberish and making waffles. Or as the boys refer to them, "wabbles!"
My poor husband. Ruralville is his dream place. And he never sees it in daylight. He leaves at o'dark thirty and comes home at late dark thirty.
Today was a much needed family day. A day to just be together and get stuff done and not spend our time driving and rushing around. We got all geared up in our outdoor work clothes.
Which look fantastic, I must say.
And my husband, the smart man that he is, made sure to tell me I looked cute before we headed out.
Since I am shallow and easily flattered, I helped him build a rack to hold various shovels and rakes out of PVC pipe and glue.
We are like a dream team, I tell you. That tool rack rocked.
We cleaned up the place. David took the kids on a four-wheeler-ride and I made elk tacos.
This is now my life.
But I did have my taco sans elk.
I am slowly transitioning into my new redneck life.
After lunch, David and the girls searched on Craigslist and found the deal of a lifetime. A rabbitry.
You may ask, "Taylor! What in the world is a rabbitry?!"
Well. A rabbitry, I think, is like a rabbit breeding business. David has made a deal with the girls that if they can save up so much money, he will let them have a horse. To earn money, they are doing chores and recycling aluminum cans. The rabbit business would hopefully bring them in more money.
This is the way my husband thinks. Do we understand him? No. But we love him.
Darn our luck, some other lucky Craigslister snatched up the rabbitry before us.
So, they went back outside and I stayed in to make my super duper homemade laundry soap.
If you are lucky, dear readers, perhaps some day I shall share with you the recipe.
Don't make fun of me.
I know you are.
Some day, making your own laundry soap will be all the rage. Just you wait.
Then I had to remove not one, but two, wads of gum that were stuck in my carpets. Not that my boys would ever be so naughty as to steal gum from my purse, chew it up, and then hide it amidst the carpet fibers.
No. My boys are angels.
Speaking of the boys, Handsome Dude drew a picture for David today and really wanted David to take it to work with him.
So he stuck it in David's lunch box.
I found it to be super sweet. Even if his ability to color within the lines is mediocre at best.
Little Dude has been obsessed with his puppies and his blankie lately. So David, in the spirit of David, decided it would be humorous to torture my poor boy.
He will probably be scarred for life.
We had soup and cornbread for dinner and finished the night off with a family movie night.
And we watched "Beethoven's Big Break."
It.
Was.
Riveting.
We had a good day.
And after yesterday, you have all convinced me to at least try the flannel sheets.
Yes. I do get cranky from time to time. It's true!
I am "resting" on the couch while my husband is supposed to be corralling the kids. He is actually playing "Angry Birds" on my phone.
And kids are running amock.
Is that how you spell amock?
Spell check says it's not.
Too bad I am so cranky and tired. Or else I might fix it.
Hmmm.
I made spaghetti and meatballs tonight. They were Pioneer Woman's recipe. But I substituted the ground elk for ground beef. Someone asked yesterday what elk tastes like.
Well. I don't really know cause I don't really eat it. I work around it. But as far as I can reckon, it is exactly like beef in both taste and appearance.
I know. I know.
Then why do I complain so?
Because it is not beef. It is ELK.
My husband just turned on some weird country music and is dancing a jig around the living room.
Lumberjacks can be goofy. Who knew?!
***
Random Topic Quick Change!
Last night, I did fix my hair. And change out of my tub scrubbing pants. But good news! When my husband called to let me know he was on his way, he said, and I quote, "I just want oatmeal for dinner."
That,my friends, is why I loveth him. And why I made him elk meatballs for dinner.
That,my friends, is why he loveth me.
***
Random Topic Quick Change!
What are your thoughts on flannel sheets?
We were given some today. I have to admit . . . the idea creeps me out.
***
Random Topic Quick Change!
A reader and friend in real life, Dianna, left this comment on my blog this week:
Just so you know, because somebody will ask, a cord of wood is 4 feet wide by 4 feet tall by 8 feet long. And tamarack is actually a larch.
And that comment prompted the following conversation between my husband and I:
Me: David! You always make me look like an idiot!
David: Huh?
Me: Dianna just said that Tamarack is actually a larch. All this time I have been talking up Tamarack, just to make you proud. But Tamarack is a farce! There is no such thing! It's larch!
David: *sigh* It depends on who you talk to.
Here's what I want to know: Who sits around and discusses such matters?
Fun Fact: No one cares. They are trees. I repeat. They are just trees, Lumberjack.
Funner Fact: All my inlaws and my husband would be horrified at the above statement.
Most Funnest Fact Of All: None of them read my blog anymore! They done got sick of me! Holla!
***
Random Topic Quick Change!
My presence has been requested at a large women's event at my church tomorrow.
But I still can't decide if I should go.
Here are the pros:
*It is rumored that there will be live humans there.
*It is only $25 and that includes lunch!
*It should be fun. And neat. And super.
Cons:
*I have to leave my house by 7:30am
*I will not come home until 6pm
*Tomorrow is the only day my husband and I would have together
1. Today, the kids and I, or more accurately, the girls and I, organized all the toys/books/games/puzzles in the entire house.
2. Are we proud that I did not strangle anyone?
3. The night is still young.
4. Why are kids toys and things so hard to keep tidy?
5. Sometimes it feels good to throw out a puzzle. You know the puzzles of which I speak. The ones that have exploded and the pieces are everywhere? Except in the puzzle box? Yes? No?
6. Today's victim was a Fancy Nancy puzzle. And it felt good. Real good.
7. Does anyone know how to deal with iron in your water? Cause I have had it up to here with the iron in the waters.
8. Oh! I'm sorry! Does no one else have a well? Does no one else have to deal with red toilet bowls and rusty shower streaks?
9. Don't be jealous.
10. My husband is coming home earlier than I thought tonight. This is good because he is my husband and I have committed to liking him. This is bad because I have no plans for dinner and now I feel like I should make some sort of an effort.
11. It will probably be elk. Gag. Me.
12. I was looking forward to my elk-free evening.
13. Handsome Dude is currently yelling at me. And I don't care.
14. He is freaking out over one button on his shirt. I mean, come on. Get over yourself. You are not the center of the world.
15. Me and my computer are.
16. Oh. I have been with them ALL DAY. I am with them everyday. We are BFF, my children and I.
17. Does anyone want to talk to me?
18. There. I fixed the button. But he is still displeased. He feels there is another button. But there isn't. And now he is wailing. And weeping. And throwing himself on the floor.
19. He is a blessing.
20. Handsome Dude is now pleading with his sisters for button help.
21. Little Dude is weird. When he gets in trouble he just yells, "I'm Cokey!"
22. It seems like an odd response to the question, "Did you just hit your brother in the head with a train?"
23. Perhaps he does not speak English.
24. Or maybe he is confused as to why he is called Cokey.
28. Little Dude is now playing hide and seek with his truck. See? Weird.
29. Handsome Dude is still in the BAFroom.
30. Maybe he fell in! That would be a shame.
31. Drat. I should probably fix my hair and take off my tub scrubbing pants for to woo my husband.
32. Do you have tub scrubbing pants? I do. I got tired of bleaching all my nice pants.
33. Bleach does not work for iron stains. Ask me how I know.
34. I feel like since all I do is stay home in Ruralville, I should feign to be normal and wear un-bleach-stained clothes and fix my hair so my husband doesn't worry about me.
I don't have anything of value to post of today. As if I ever do. But post I shall!
A few days ago, I mentioned how we got the manly men to smile in a picture by tricking them into fantasizing about 10 Cords of Tamarack.
I was surprised, nay, shocked at how many of you did not know what this was!
For shame, dear readers. For shame.
1. Tamarack, I will have you know is the best type of firewood out there. And each year my husband hunts for the perfect, dead Tamarack.
Oh, yes. It's true.
Why?
Because it burns HOT and SLOW. This is good. The fire last longer and warms you and makes you feel all happy and tingly inside.
2. It is important that the tree is dead.
A) Because it is illegal to cut down living trees. And Lumberjacks surely are law-abiding citizens.
B) Because if you burn "green" (live) wood, sap will get all over you and your jeans and your fingers and then your hair when you try to brush your hair out of your eyes.
C) Technically I should not know about B if you refer to A. I shall have to investigate with my husband as to why I know what green wood burns like.
D) I know. I think that even if it is dead, it takes a while to dry out. Like a couple of years? I cannot be certain.
E) Still. Perhaps I shall remind him. Lumberjacks can be shady.
F) Kidding! Kind of.
G) Is anyone still reading this? Does anyone care about the mysterious ways of the Tamarack?
3. A cord is a measurement of wood. I do not know the measurements, nor do I care. All I know is it is a lot of wood to stack and gives you splinters and backaches.
4. My husband, bless his heart, usually made us get 11-12 cords of wood.
5. We don't have a wood stove in our new house. Darn.
6. This has taken away his will to live.
7. We will probably get a wood stove for next year. Boo.
Speaking of Tamaracks (Yes, I am still talking about wood. What of it?), my husband has been known to go on drives just to search for dead Tamaracks. And he remembers their locations. For months.
Yet he knows not one of our childrens' birthdays.
***
Let's move on to homeschooling.
Homeschooling is going well. I think.
We no longer meet in our homeschool room. We actually ditched that idea in October. It was a bad, bad idea of mine. It works much better to have school in the kitchen.
I am not sure if you are aware of this or not, but my boys are kind of naughty. I found that having them cooped up in the same room as us whilst homeschooling was a horrific and stupid idea.
The girls are doing well, but I am concerned about their ability to do jumping jacks.
I ain't gonna lie. My girls are kind of gooberish when it comes to the jumping jacks.
Daisy Mae just jumps in the air with her legs hip-width apart and her arms flailing about. The legs never come together and the arms are never in harmony.
Sweet Pea just jumps and twirls and bumps into Daisy Mae.
And they are sure proud of themselves and their mad skills. Or skillz. Whichever you prefer.
Quick! Do you have a 6 or 8 year old girl at home?
Please observe them doing jumping jacks and let me know if my girls are behind.
Thank you.
***
Finally, my friend wants to make me a blog button, but she needs to know what kind of an image I would like for it.
You, like me, might be saying,
"What is a blog button?"
"Why do we need one?"
"What is its purpose?"
"Why does my child do jumping jacks like that?"
"Should I make brownies today?"
I know. These things are all confusing. But for now, let's just focus on the image part.
I need some ideas on what an image for a pointless blog, such as mine, could use for the aforementioned button.
If you have some ideas, please submit them to me in the comments section post haste!
You see, David's brother, Alex, had come to do who-knows-what with David. They took with them some guns and they left in David's truck.
Blah. Blah. Blah.
But then I had to leave.
Shocking, I know.
But there are times, as rare as they may be, that I do actually fire up the old rig, don my pearls, and head to town.
However, I ran into a minor hiccup. Alex had parked his vehicle in such a way that I could not turn my rig around. Therefore I decided to back all the way out of our driveway.
Our driveway is kind of long. I don't know. Lots of yards. Perhaps hundreds of yards? I cannot be certain.
Oh! I should totes have the kids measure the driveway for math today while I sit in the house and eat chocolates and read a magazine!
Homeschool. Check.
Anyways. I have seen my husband back out of this driveway on numerous occasions. I have even seen him back out with our camp trailer.
Folks. It can be done.
So, I enlisted Daisy Mae to be my lookout. She kept saying I was good. But then . . . clunk.
No, Daisy Mae. I was not good.
So. We were stuck in a ditch. Which was unfortunate. And then I had to call my husband and see if he and Alex and their guns would mind taking a break from doing who-knows-what to come and pull me out.
And my husband took a picture, for to mock me.
See? I was so close.
Is not his truck filthy? It became that filthified whilst they were doing the aforementioned who-knows-what activities.
As we were getting towed, Sweet Pea turned to her friend, who was in the car (Hi, friend's mom who reads this blog upon occasion! I promise your daughter is always safe with me! I am a superb driver!).
Sweet Pea: Did you hear that? Alex just told mom to put the car in four wheel drive!
Friend: Ok.
Sweet Pea: Isn't that exciting?! Have you ever heard of four wheel drive?
Friend: Ummmm
Sweet Pea: I know! So cool. These are the sorts of things my family does!
So, they pulled me out and that was that.
The End.
In other news, I was without power for five entire hours yesterday.
It was cold and awful.
And in final news, do you remember how I just went to mean old Tennessee to see my dearheart friend, Bimlissa?
Well, her mama sent us on a shopping/blogging mission and she wrote all about it in her super famous blog.
You should check it out, if you are feeling frisky this morning.
But thank you for all the encouragement. It is nice to know that I am not the only mother with children who tend to be naughty.
Or.
Am.
I?
We went to town today and did many fun things. I would not know if my children were not listening to me because I was having my fill of chatty-chatty-girl time with some friends.
Ignorance is bliss.
Some of you may recall that we got our family pictures taken this year. Don't worry if you don't recall. It's not important.
The gal who took them, Monica, is a friend and does a great job! My in laws liked them and decided we should get our whole family done. Yes. That would be 16 people. At the same time. In one photo.
Dear Monica,
Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?
Regards,
Taylor
Before we begin this intriguing journey, let us take a moment to look at the family picture from a year and a half ago.
Does anyone else see where the background ends in the photo?
Crazy.
And yes. My son is trying to grab his crotch.
Alright. Moving on.
Now, it is hard for anyone to get my husband to smile in a photograph.
This we know to be truth.
But guess what.
He has a brother. And that brother is Alex. And Alex is just as bad.
Can you guess which one is Alex?
Hint: He is wearing black. ha.
Better Hint: He is on the far right.
Oh, boys.
Here are some more group shots.
Things to notice:
1. Alex looks cheerier. Not.
2. David looks cheerior. Not.
3. Handsome Dude is not trying to grab his crotch. Not.
This was the silly shot.
This is what Alex smiles for.
Points to notice:
1. Where is Little Dude looking?
2. My father in law is giving me bunny ears. Odd.
3. Great Grandma has looked at Handsome Dude. This has caused him great fear and made him stop his crotch grabbing.
Thank you, Great Grandma.
Now this is a lovely shot of my husband with his family.
If you ignore the two Grumpy Grumpertons over there on the right.
Love it!
Let's all covet Lisa's gorgeous hair together now, shall we?
And what is with the smiles?
Fact: I know what coerced the smiles. Someone told the boys to think about 10 cords of Tamarack.
10 cords of Tamarack is every wood-cutter's dream! Keep up, people!
Are you confused?
Are you?
Are you?
My in laws with all their grandchildren.
*sigh*
Oh, Handsome Dude.
Well, people. I tried. I truly did.
I think they turned out splendidly.
100 (meaningless) points to anyone who knows what 10 Cords of Tamarack might mean.
Well. It finally happened. My husband deemed last night to be the night that the two, yes, that's right, two deer mounts should be hung on my pretty peach walls.
Lest any of you are confused, I dislike the peach. Like a lot.
Now don't get your panties all in a knot there, you silly readers, you. He did not shoot two deer this season. One of the mounts was from 2007.
Exhibit A:
This classic buck is the fresh and hip 2010 model. He is keeping a watchful eye o'er Sweet Pea as she does her studies.
See?
Deer heads in the house aren't creepy at all.
Exhibit B:
He's back. Yes. I named him Frank back in '07 when he first hung in my house.
My husband finds the naming of his trophy bucks irksome. But it helps me deal with the fact that the buck is now my decor.
Frank now hangs in the staircase of our new home. The stairs lead up to the television. I can be often found sneaking downstairs to pop me some corn and eat all sorts of glorious snacks at all hours of the night. Perhaps Frank will creep me out, so much so that the snacks will lose their appeal.
One can only hope.
***
I am pretty sure I am the only person who struggles with this, but goodness, I am having a rough time with my kids over here.
I mean, seriously.
How many times must I repeat the same thing?
No. You cannot take gum out of mommy's purse.
Girls, get dressed. It's time for school.
Do not hit your brother with the truck.
Girls! Time for school! Get ready.
Where did you get that gum?
Do not play in my room.
Do not hit your brother with the train.
Girls! School!
No Gum! No!
Do not splash in the bath.
Where are the girls?
Lucy! Do not eat my red sprinkles!
LucyFur.
No splashing!
Do not hit your brother with your shoe.
Girls! School!
Do not chase.
Do not hit.
Do not run.
Do not yell.
Do not splash.
Do not steal gum.
Do not be late for school.
*sigh*
Iamexhausted.
The last two days have been a constant struggle with these creatures. And I must remind myself that they are a blessing. And I do love them. I really do. And I am so thankful for them.
But, come on.
Why can't my day go the way that I hope? Why can't things run smoothly and the day go pleasantly and the chores get done cheerfully (ha!) and the lessons get done easily?
Days like today make me so sad. I hate feeling this frustrated and I know I have shown my anger and crankiness at my kids today. My attitude does not reflect how I truly feel about them.
I feel blessed to have each one of them. I love their different personalities. I am thankful that God has given them to me to take care of. I love watching them grow and learn and change.
I love that they are mine.
I want to be a good mother. I want to reflect God's love to them.
But I am imperfect.
Does this surprise you?
This phrase from this song kept popping into my head today:
O to grace how great a debtor Daily I'm constrained to be! Let that grace now like a fetter, Bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love; Here's my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above.
From "Come Thou Fount of Many Blessings" written by Robert Robinson.
Prone to wander. That's me.
God shows me grace daily-am I showing grace to my children?
I realized that in all my weariness today, I had forgotten to stop and pray.
This happens to me a lot.
“Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders are in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain.
In vain you rise early and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat-for he grants sleep to those he loves.
Sons are a heritage from the Lord,
children a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.”
Psalm 127: 1-5
God had to remind me again that when I am not putting him first, the rest is all in vain.
Turns out I don't listen so well the first 1-492 times either. My kids come by it honestly.
Does anyone else ever struggle with how to appropriately open a post?
Neither do I.
Good evening. I am back from my trip to visit my dearheart friend Bimlissa over in mean old Tennessee.
Bimlissa=Melissa. It's a long story.
Interruption: No need to check her blog for any posting about me. She likes to pretend she doesn't know me in real life, on account of how strangely I act whilst blogging.
I made it onto the plane. I was offered no such choice about whether to receive the aforementioned naked body scan or to go with the heavy patting. As luck would have it, I was able to get naked scanned in two separate states. So that's good to know.
Fun Fact: I was thinking that everyone in the vicinity of the security areas would be seeing my scan. Kind of like how everyone can see the insides of my purse. I was misinformed. I am not sure where my scan went, but no one near me saw it.
I think.
The plane ride was long.
I had a fantastic time smiling and waving at all the small children and complimenting the exhausted parents. And then I would keep smiling as I donned my headphones, listened to some tunes, sipped some coffee, and did my crossword puzzles.
Taylor without kids! It was like I was just pretending to be me!
Once I arrived in the not-so-mean land of Tennessee, I was ushered to a Chick-fil-A post haste. It was like Christmas for my taste buds.
The trip was splendid. I had a lovely time catching up with my friend and her family.
Bimlissa has three children. C is 9, J is 7 and G is 3 months old. C and J were delightful for the entire trip and I thoroughly enjoyed visiting with them, which made it a little easier to be away from my hooligans for so long.
I played the card game "War" with J one night. She was kicking my bum, so I congratulated her on her awesomeness.
"Yes," J replied. "The Royal Family has blessed me."
Eh?!
Ah. I love the things kids say.
Baby G tended to get a bit more particular than his siblings and would oft let us know when he found the conditions unsuitable.
But he was cute, so we permitted it.
On Friday we went shopping. And eating. It's what we gal pals do best.
It was C-O-L-D in Tennessee, much more so than I had anticipated. For some reason, I had envisioned myself happily shopping the streets of Tennessee in January wearing flip-flops and capris.
Not so, dear readers.
Not so.
On Saturday, we beat feet to Nashville where we saw magnificent things like:
The Wildhorse Saloon
Some sort of silly stadium for "foosball."
Ha! Name that movie.
Look! The Parthenon is in Nashville!
Who knew?!
The Opryland Hotel
On Sunday we went to church.
Then we ate and shopped and ate and shopped.
Then we grew tired of that nonsense. So we took a break and went to get some frozen yogurt.
Bimlissa and I asked her dear children to take fabulous photos of us enjoying our time together.
And they did!
Kinda.
Sorta.
Everytime I called home my husband informed me that my children did not miss me.
But each time I talked to Handsome Dude he asked if I was on a truck or a plane and was the plane red or blue or or-nange and where was I and why can't he see the plane and where did I park my truck and is the plane fast and he is not being naughty and where is Miss-a-liss-a and why am I there and where is the plane and can he have a cookie and when I was done with Miss-a-liss-a's house, could I please come "bisit" his house?
So, I think that could be considered "missing me" . . . yes? No? Yes?
Alright. That's it.
Does anyone else ever struggle with how to properly end a post?
The thought of it all just makes me break out into a sweat.
Do you fly much? I have several questions.
Please advise.
1. Are belts still problematic? Cause I wear one, but it is not a deal breaker. It is merely a fashion accessory and most certainly not to hold my pants up.
Trust me.
My pants aren't going anywhere.
2. Do I have to take my shoes off? Why?
3. I know I can't bring a water bottle. Check.
4. Can I play on my phone whilst soaring through the friendly skies? I see it has an airplane mode? Hmm?
5. IPods? Are IPods ok?
6. I am going to get so bored.
7. What if my suitcase is too heavy?
8. What if I get lost? What if I miss my connecting flight?
9. What if I get Taylor-napped?
10. This question is brought to you by my mean Facebookish friends. I casually mentioned to them that I am leaving on a jet plane tomorrow and one friend, named Jodi, said, and I quote, "Have a fabulous time!! Naked scan or heavy patting at airport?"
Hold.
The.
Phone.
What is she talking about?
11. Do I get a choice in the matter? Cause if so, I am definitely going with the heavy patting.
12. Is that wrong?
13. If they are only offering naked body scans, then I will have to lose at least 15 pounds before tomorrow morning. I figure I have a fighting chance at this if I skip dinner. Thoughts?
14. Isn't this an invasion of my privacy?
15. Can I bring food on the plane?
16. Yes. I understand that number 15 contradicts my whole plan to lose 15 pounds. But I figure that once I am on the plane, I have already been scanned! See? No need to worry anymore!
17. Seriously. Can I bring snacks? A banana? Yogurt? Brownies?
18. I am nervous.
19. It is snowing cats and dogs out here right now. Will this affect my travel plans?
20. Naked body scans? Really.
Alright. If you can help with any of the aforementioned quandaries, it would be most fantastic.
Also. I do not know if I will be blogging from Tennessee.
Fun Fact: I have no idea how to log into my blog from anywhere but my home computer. Sad, I know.
I have tried to before and cannot for the life of me figure it out.
Are we surprised that I am not yet a blogging tycoon? No? Yes? No?
I shall be able to update on Facebook. If you find Facebook annoying, then steer clear. If that sort of thing rocks your world, you can like me on Facebook.
I am sure that you have all been on the edge of your seats wondering what on earth happened in my life during the months of October, November, and December.
And I am sorry to have kept you in such suspense. These recap posts take time, you know.
1. During the beginning of October, our world seemed to go all crazy like. We had two vehicle breakdowns, an appliance that broke, we lost around $1000 worth of beef due to a child leaving the freezer open, and we were still sad about losing our Mabel dog.
Plus we had mice living in the trunk of our Honda.
Look at the cute nest they made!
2. My sister swooned me and took me on a date to see the play Oklahoma!
My hair looks horrific in the above photo. I don't get out much.
Fun Fact: Did you know that when you speak of the play, Oklahoma!, you must always use an exclamation point after writing it? It's true. It really is. Oklahoma! See? I did it again.
3. I gave you all step by step instructions on how to be a superb hunting wife. It was a wealth of information.
4. Little Dude refused to wear pants for one whole day.
These are some exciting times out here in Ruralville.
5. We brought Lucy into our lives.
Sure. She looks cute. But she is uber naughty. Sandy gave me the greatest idea for a nickname for Lucy when she is being naughty: LucyFur.
Holla, Sandy!
Holla.
Fun Fact: Lucy peed on my carpet just this very evening.
LucyFur.
Although I must mention this: The very week we brought Lucy home, I caught her chewing on a mouse body.
Disgusting, I know.
Nevertheless! Since that darned dog has come into our lives, I have not seen one, nay, not one living mouse.
Holla, LucyFur!
Holla.
6. I had a funtastic time making applesauce with my inlaws.
We made like 5,968 quarts.
We are spectacular.
And when I say we, I mean they.
Fun Fact: Did you know that in lieu of spending 8 hours making our own applesauce you could, in fact, purchase some at your local grocery store? Who knew?!
7. I shared this fun photo with you all.
Drool if you must, but I will not lend you my shiny, colorful shower curtain-like outfit.
8. I had a minor panic attack when I realized that Halloween was mere days away and I had not costume for any of my children.
9. I asked you to all pray for my unborn niece, Grace Elizabeth. And I was overwhelmed by the response I got from you. Thank you for all the prayers and kind words. I know it meant a lot to my brother and sister-in-law, as well.
Your continued prayers are still appreciated. Grace is due around the first of March and has been diagnosed with Trisomy 13.
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give away and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea . . .
Be still, and know that I am God.”
(Psalms 46:1, 2, and 10)
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
He determines the number of the stars and calls them by name.
Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.”
Psalms 147: 3-5
November
1. The beginning of November brought beautiful, gorgeous weather.
2. I showed you all my lagoon.
Did you know that in Ruralville, "lagoon" is code for sewage/cess pool?
Don't pretend you aren't jealous.
3. I shared with all-you-all's how to properly take an epic picture of your husband with his trophy buck so he can preserve the glory for all eternity.
![Leslie Sansone: 4 Fast Miles [DVD]](http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/public/WqQdBydnPC6aAHqtfzfpXosEP61lg7dCPM3AX66RdTpFecmtApvnd_lbzgsgVRsN-rL4nlTHyNQJvQ5NgguaWp6RIf4V3RzKfekdGH3aURGRAB5tniy4W9PsVFSzx9DDTToQ9Z24_DASloilcOiJZDvNw7nIO5OZOakg02Ajf9jGrg "Leslie Sansone: 4 Fast Miles [DVD]")
