*ahem*
I am turning into a bit of a Nervous Nellie.
You see, dear readers, I don't fly much.
The thought of it all just makes me break out into a sweat.
Do you fly much? I have several questions.
Please advise.
1. Are belts still problematic? Cause I wear one, but it is not a deal breaker. It is merely a fashion accessory and most certainly not to hold my pants up.
Trust me.
My pants aren't going anywhere.
2. Do I have to take my shoes off? Why?
3. I know I can't bring a water bottle. Check.
4. Can I play on my phone whilst soaring through the friendly skies? I see it has an airplane mode? Hmm?
5. IPods? Are IPods ok?
6. I am going to get so bored.
7. What if my suitcase is too heavy?
8. What if I get lost? What if I miss my connecting flight?
9. What if I get Taylor-napped?
10. This question is brought to you by my mean Facebookish friends. I casually mentioned to them that I am leaving on a jet plane tomorrow and one friend, named Jodi, said, and I quote, "Have a fabulous time!! Naked scan or heavy patting at airport?"
Hold.
The.
Phone.
What is she talking about?
11. Do I get a choice in the matter? Cause if so, I am definitely going with the heavy patting.
12. Is that wrong?
13. If they are only offering naked body scans, then I will have to lose at least 15 pounds before tomorrow morning. I figure I have a fighting chance at this if I skip dinner. Thoughts?
14. Isn't this an invasion of my privacy?
15. Can I bring food on the plane?
16. Yes. I understand that number 15 contradicts my whole plan to lose 15 pounds. But I figure that once I am on the plane, I have already been scanned! See? No need to worry anymore!
17. Seriously. Can I bring snacks? A banana? Yogurt? Brownies?
18. I am nervous.
19. It is snowing cats and dogs out here right now. Will this affect my travel plans?
20. Naked body scans? Really.
Alright. If you can help with any of the aforementioned quandaries, it would be most fantastic.
Also. I do not know if I will be blogging from Tennessee.
Fun Fact: I have no idea how to log into my blog from anywhere but my home computer. Sad, I know.
I have tried to before and cannot for the life of me figure it out.
Are we surprised that I am not yet a blogging tycoon? No? Yes? No?
I shall be able to update on Facebook. If you find Facebook annoying, then steer clear. If that sort of thing rocks your world, you can like me on Facebook.
The choice is yours.
Goodbye for now!
Sincerly,
Soon-to-Scanned-and-Scared.
1. Are belts still problematic? Cause I wear one, but it is not a deal breaker. It is merely a fashion accessory and most certainly not to hold my pants up.
ReplyDelete*they will make you take it off at security, but you can put it back on.
2. Do I have to take my shoes off? Why?
*yes. because they said so.
4. Can I play on my phone whilst soaring through the friendly skies? I see it has an airplane mode? Hmm?
*as long as you can put it in airplane mode you can have it out.
5. IPods? Are IPods ok?
*TAKE YOUR IPOD!
6. I am going to get so bored.
*probably. depends on how long your flight is.
7. What if my suitcase is too heavy?
*depends on the airline. American Airlines charges $25.00 per bag, up to 50 pounds.
8. What if I get lost? What if I miss my connecting flight?
*you will be just fine. Where is your connection through? If it is Dallas, don't be intimidated. It's not as difficult as it is made out to be.
9. What if I get Taylor-napped?
*seriously?
10. This question is brought to you by my mean Facebookish friends. I casually mentioned to them that I am leaving on a jet plane tomorrow and one friend, named Jodi, said, and I quote, “Have a fabulous time!! Naked scan or heavy patting at airport?”
Hold.
The.
Phone.
What is she talking about?
11. Do I get a choice in the matter? Cause if so, I am definitely going with the heavy patting.
12. Is that wrong?
13. If they are only offering naked body scans, then I will have to lose at least 15 pounds before tomorrow morning. I figure I have a fighting chance at this if I skip dinner. Thoughts?
14. Isn’t this an invasion of my privacy?
10-14: I object to the body scans as I do feel it is an invasion of my privacy. That is my opinion and I know there are people who don't agree with me. I would rather get the pat down, although I think that is a little extreme, also.
15. Can I bring food on the plane?
*yes. As a matter of fact, I highly recommend it as airport food is EXPENSIVE. Save your money for Starbucks.
18. I am nervous.
*it's ok. Seriously, you'll be fine. :) Wait--didn't you just fly last February on your anniversary trip??
19. It is snowing cats and dogs out here right now. Will this affect my travel plans?
*it could. Call your airline in the morning to make sure that your flight is still on time. Additional tip: get there early because the lines to get through security may be long.
20. Naked body scans? Really.
*I vote no.
Have fun with your BFF!! :)
I wish I could help you out answering those questions, but I have never flown before. Sorry about that. However, I did want to tell you that I will be praying for safe travels and that you won't miss your connecting flight and that all will go well. Praying for a relaxing trip for you and that you will have a fantastic time with Bimlissa.
ReplyDeleteOh my, sweetie. Okay...here goes:
ReplyDelete1. Don't wear anything that will be a pain to get off or on. Period.
2. Yes. To make sure your feet don't stink. Just kidding...it's to make sure you don't have bombs in there.
3. You can have up to 8oz of liquid. One of those cute, teeny, useless bottles would be acceptable. You know, if you want to get your tongue wet.
4. Yes. Put your phone on airplane mode when you get settled in your seat. I suggest downloading a few games before you leave so you aren't so bored.
5. Yes. ipods are fine.
6. See #4
7. Remember that whole thing where little dude refused to get weighed at the doctor's office? You can work the same magic with your suitcase. Kapow.
8. & 9. You get a new flight and kick someone in the cahones. On both accounts, if you'd like. Holla.
10, 11, 12, 13, 14. SOME airports have these xray scanners that you stand in to check you for contraband. They can see your junk. OR you can choose to have a FEMALE TSA agent pat you down and they may or may not also patdown your junk. So, your junk seen or your junk felt. Your choice. But only at some airports. Maybe yours will not be so...touchy/looky? Oh,and shut it. You're not fat.
15, 16, 17: You can bring non-liquid food items. Do not ask me if yogurt is a liquid or a solid, for I do not have the answer.
18. Do not be. See verses which you posted after telling us about your brother's baby.
19. Maybe a delay, but the airport is not rualville and so is equipped with industrial sized snowblowers and de-icers. (but no one who works there rocks the long underwear like you, I bet!)
20. You are not naked. The scans can just look past your clothes. And at your junk. Maybe you can block the scan's beady eyes with a couple strategically placed brownies? Then you'd have a snack for later, too.
You're gonna have fun!
0. Yes, totes. I fly all the time.
ReplyDelete1. Just put your belt in your carry-on that way you can fashionably add it on after you go through security. And you won't have to mess with the whole taking it off while impatient people behind you wait.
2. Yes, because they said so. I highly recommend cute socks. Or at least matching socks (not that I've ever taken off winter boots at an airport to reveal a mismatch...I mean, what? usually no one sees them!)
3. True. But you can bring an empty water bottle or something of that sort if you're a cheapo like me and fill it up at the water fountain on the other side of security. Bonus points if you pack a Crystal Light To-go little thingy to make cheapO lemonade!
4. Ehhh, not really. I mean, you can look through photos or files you've stored on there, but you won't get reception (unless your plane has wifi and some do! holla!)
5. Totes! And recommended that way the annoying smelly guy next to you won't ask you all sorts of awkward questions. Oh and he has bad breath. They always have bad breath.
6. Totes. Bring your kindle! duh!
7. If you're checking it, it better not be over 50lbs or you'll pay a crazy fee. If you're carrying-on, you don't want it to be heavy because you will be the damsel in distress when you try to get it into the overhead compartment without bonking your head. Swooning and sighing loudly usually help damsels get assistance with said bags.
8. Oh dear! I don't know! Pray, sweet child, pray!
9. Naaahhh, that only happens in Brad Pitt movies.
10. Oh dear! It really does happen but it's not as weird as the newscasters make it sound. Oh and not everyone gets chose to do it! So cross your fingers that you get the pass! Oh and not all airports have them....so ruralville airport probs doesn't have the machine!
11. Yes, you get a choice. I always go with the pat down. The TSA ladies are usually so bored and tired of doing it that they go really fast and it just feels like an awkward hug with your in-laws cousins neighbors wife's stepdaughter.
12. I mean naked body scan isn't that big of a deal either....again the bored tired TSA person is probably not even looking at the screen. And you're totes not naked for reals. It's just a blurry white ghosty image of you. No biggie.
13. Okay, then maybe go with the scan....motivation for weight watchers! alright!
14. No, it's keep us safe from terrorists and bad guys and the boogie man. That is a good thing in my book (coming from a woman whose husband flies the friendly skies multiple times a week.....I REALLY want them to stay safe and friendly!)
15. Totes! I do it all the time. Airplane food is super expensive and usually gross, so totes bring a snack!
16. Brownies in a gladware container? sure!
17. Yogurt--- no! It's a liquid....keep up, taylor! Banana...sure but that's pretty boring. Brownies....now we're talking!!
18. Don't be! Flying can be fun! And hey you get a free drink on the plane! woo hoo!
19. Ooooohhh, probs. Not cool ruralville, not cool.
20. For realsy. But I promise it's not as weird as it sound. I'd be more concerned about the weird smelly guy with the bad breath who sits next to you and want to know your life store. Much scarier!
Taylor, it is likely that the airports you are flying out of won't have naked body scanners. Our nearest airport, Amarillo, doesn't. Reno's doesn't. And the one in Kona, Hawaii doesn't. They won't all be installed for like a year, so you might get the normal metal detector scan.
ReplyDeleteI'm not really worried about the naked scan. They can't see your scan and your face at the same time, so it doesn't really worry me. The pat down, on the other hand, is not something I want to go through. I'll pass on the cavity search.
Good luck. :)
Marla @ blueskiesphotoblog.com
P.S.- To set your blog up where you can see it from anywhere, you're going to have to put a little "meta" log in widget on your blog. (I think.)
Go to your wordpress dashboard and click under appearance on "widgets." From there you can find "meta" and add it to your sidebar or the bottom bar. (That's where I put mine.) Once that is all set up, you will be able to see the log in from your normal blog page. Click on "site admin" and put in your username (probably admin) and your password. From there, you should be able to edit it from anywhere by just logging in from your blog.
Hopefully that all makes sense and will help you out a bit. If not, have Sister Megan figure it out for you.
I feel like I just took over your blog in my comment. Sorry. :)
Looks like previous posters have adequately covered your naked pat-down questions, so I'll skip over that.
ReplyDeleteBored on the plane? You'd better be bringing a good book. And yummy snacks that you don't have to share. Plus, you can take a nap if you want, and no one will poke you awake. I repeat, bored on the plane?
Is that scared or scarred? ;)
Have fun!
I see lots of good answers up above, so I will just say, Relax and enjoy your visit with Bimlissa!
ReplyDeleteI prefer the pat-down over the scan. Go ahead and pat me all over - you're not looking at my special parts! Someone already said this but you can totally take an EMPTY water bottle and some of those powdered beverages through security, hence not paying huge prices for bottled water or the like. Forget the belt - not worth the trouble!
ReplyDeleteI totally wish I was going with you just to watch you fly the friendly skies. Seriously! The stories you will have when you get back will be wonderful. I'm excited. for them.
ReplyDeleteI think you have all your questions answered. I wouldn't pack yogurt only because from your house in Ruralville to the point when you are going to want to eat it is going to be too long and it will be warm and icky anyway.
And if you get bored on the plane you can take a napsy. Ahhhh, a nap without children. Plus it makes the time go by quicker. And you don't have to talk to the person sitting next to you. Unless that person is a big fan of the little blog thingy called The Lumberjacks Wife...then you should probably talk to them, for they love you. Take a good book...have you read Redeeming Love? Read it!
Have lots and lots of fun with Melissa your sweet bff. I'm sure she is super excited to see you.
I'll be praying for a safe trip.
All of the above makes me nauseaus.
ReplyDeleteWill instead of giving advice . . .
!PRAY FOR LUMBERJILL!
Phil 4:4-7
" ...and the peace of God, ... will guard your heart and your mind in Christ Jesus."
probably your body, too. :)
enjoy every moment with your BFF.
Wish I was going to 'mean ol' Colorado to see mine.
Definitely check to see if the airports have delays...I don't know what part of Tn. you're going to, but we had snow today in E. Tn. You know, the 1/2 inch kind that wreaks havoc on Southerners and causes us to run to the grocery store for bread and milk. And beer for some of us.
ReplyDeleteGo for the pat down. It isn't stored on a computer hard drive for future generation. But, you probably won't have it in your airports anyway.
ReplyDeleteGet new book or two for your kindle. I will be jealous. You will be content ;)
Much fun, my bloggy friend...much fun. Eat some grits for me, will ya?
Wear slip on shoes...easier to take on and off!! I'd go with the scan over the pat down...I'd have to look at the lady patting me down and that would be more embarrasing than having someone in another room looking at a screen. And the scan would be faster...unless your trying to hide something in your bra.... My junk ain't that special so I don't think they will look long...lol
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh. I think losing 15 pounds is TOTALLY doable! I really needed the giggle. We are in the doldrums over here. No enthusiasm to blog. No enthusiasm to comment. Just stress and sadness here. But enough of that...Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing so hard at the look on someone's face when they see the body scan and the brownies where...uh, something else ought to be.
ReplyDeleteRelax, my friend. Go with the naked body scan- really. Its a quick scan and who want heavy patting- think this through. Have fun.
ReplyDeleteI fly a lot...I do not wear a belt or difficult shoes. I got the scan..who wants a pat down by a stranger? The scan was no big deal and as far as I know there are no pics of me floating around the internet. You can have electronics in flight mode on when the flight attendant gives you the green light. If your suitcase is too heavy you've definitely overpacked! Bring your ipod and wear your ear buds so you don't have to talk to strangers and consequently will have no need to worry about being Taylor-napped.
ReplyDeleteI get all worried and anxious before I fly but once I'm on board, buckled in with my headphones on, my dramamine swallowed and my ginger ale in front of me then its all good. Have fun!
Take your ipod and a book, and don't forget--you could actually sleep on the plane as well. I would go for the naked body scan because you're not actually naked, and the scan that makes you look naked is in a whole other section of the airport so you don't know someone is looking at you looking like you're naked. On the other hand, the heavy groping is right there where you're at, sister. Nobody gropes me unless they pay first. I mean, if I were into that sort of thing. Which I'm not.
ReplyDeleteIf you get Taylor-napped, entertain your kidnappers with stories of your kids and tell them how glad you are to be with them as opposed to being with your kids. As adorable as your children are, after a while the horror stories will get to them, and they will return you out of self-preservation.
Have fun in mean ol' Tennessee!
Redeeming Love= amazing. :)
ReplyDeleteGirl, you put way too much thought into things sometimes.
ReplyDeleteFocus on enjoying your reunion with your friend. If security insists on frisking you, let them, but insist that it's the hot guy in the uniform, not the mean, grouchy old lady. At least have a little fun.
Can't wait to see all of the pictures and hear the stories you are sure to bring home with you!
BTW, I think I just noticed at the bottom of your screen that your blog is powered by Wordpress.
ReplyDeleteFrom where ever you are, go to wordpress.com. There should be a place to log in at the top of the screen.
That's how I do it from work.
Dont worry! Its not as bad as you think it will be! Have fun! I hope you dont get Taylor-napped, although I think you would put up a great fight, you have 4 kids and overcome pee and vomit on a regular basis, you can handle most anything. :)
ReplyDeleteHave a freaking fantastic good time - and don't worry, I'm sure you'll look amazing nakedly scanned!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up. I have to deal with the Taylor-napping thing. Seriously? I know you have children and so really you have never thought the "don't go anywhere with a stranger" thing could apply to you? Okay, so technically the pilot and flight attendants are strangers, but you know what I mean. If some one offers you a candy bar to lure you down a dark corridor, snatch the candy and run away! Everyone knows that. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat's just hilarious! :)
ReplyDeleteI would be totally nervous to fly by myself, too. And our dear airport nearest Ruralville does have scanners. I'm just saying. Have fun, and Melissa, enjoy your time with our dear Taylor. We will miss her while she's away!
ReplyDelete