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Guess whose birthday is today?

My lovely sis-in-law, Lisa.

AKA, The Pioneer Woman.

Guess how old she is?

Anyone?

I won't tell.

That would be rude.

So, in honor of her special day, I proudly present:

Lisa:  Points of Interest.

1)  She is older than me.  Ha!

2) She has gorgeous red hair that she doesn't have to do anything with and it just styles beautifully.

3)  She has better camping hair than I.

Need proof?

Lisa's camping hair:

Can you see her?

She is sitting next to that fine young chap, Jason.

Look at her exquisite camping bun.

My camping hair:

Try to conceal your jealousy.

Please.

4)  She is the mother of Little Miss

5)  And now, I must share a moment from the past with you all:

When the Lumberjack and I were dating, Lisa and I went shopping at the mall.

Shopping?

Without children?

Without strollers?

Without diaper bags, crackers, milk, binkies, and blankets?

Ah, the glory days.

We were at The Gap.

We were perusing the clearance rack.

Lisa was looking for jeans.

I found a super cute pair to show her.

I showed her.

Her response?

"Those are really cute!  I mean, they are way too big for me, but they are cute.  Hey!  You should try them on!"

No.

I am not bitter.

I did not hold on to that moment for the past 10 years, waiting until a time when she least expected it . . . to share with the world my complete and utter embarrassment.

 It's a good thing I know she loves me so.

Or I might have to seek revenge and tell everyone how old she is.

P.S.  I am still in my 20s.

P.P.S.  Happy Birthday, Lisa!  Can I still come to your birthday party?

Oleo.

I loved my grandma.

(She is the one on the right side of the car.)

She was my bestest buddy.

We were pen pals.

We were phone pals.

I have many wonderful memories of her.

She lived far away.

Whenever I missed her, I would sneak into the bathroom and smell Mentholatum.

My grandma always smelled of Metholatum.

And for that reason, I will always love Mentholatum.

Raise your hand if you have never heard of Mentholatum.

It does exist.

I promise.

The last time I saw my grandma was in October of 2006.

My mom and I took my girls for a visit.

Daisy Mae, who was 1 1/2 at the time, did not like Great Grandma.

Except she called her, "Date-Damma."

Daisy Mae would never give Date Damma a hug.

Daisy Mae would never say hello to Date Damma.

I was getting quite frustrated with Daisy Mae.

"Honey, why will you not hug Great Grandma?"

And Daisy Mae looked at me, with her furrowed  brow:

"Me no like-a Date Damma.  He no talk-a-me."

It was true.

My grandma did not talk much anymore at that point.

But I still have memories of all our moments together.

I still have letters that she wrote to me.

I can recall many conversations.

"Honey, tell me, what kind of oleo do you prefer?"

"Huh?"

"What kind of oleo do you prefer?"

Oleo?

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who under the age of 67 who knows what oleo is.

 

My grandma passed away in January of 2007.

I miss her very much.

Today would have been her birthday.

Happy Birthday, Grandma!