The Hodgepodge

Hello!

I am joining in on The Hodgepodge today!

1. National Read a Road Map Day falls on April 5th. Would people say you have a good sense of direction? Do you rely on a GPS when you drive somewhere new?

When was the last time you used a map?

 

My husband is right here.  I shall ask him.

***

He didn't even look at me.  He shook his head, "no."

I do have to use GPS when I am somewhere new.

Let's just say that I commonly hear the GPS lady shouting,

"RECALCULATING! RECALCULATING!"

I used to think north was just whatever was straight in front me.

  This caused me great confusion for my first 20-ish years.

 Sometimes common sense is challenging for me.

2. What's your favorite cookbook?

 

I don't know if I have a favorite. 

 I have a lot of cookbooks with one or two recipes in them that I use often.

 I like The Dinner Doctor by Anne Byrne.

I use AllRecipes a lot.

And I use my imagination a lot.

I should refrain from the imaginative cooking. 

It causes Handsome Dude great stress in life. 

3. What painting would you like to "walk into" and experience? Why?

 

The only paintings I see are penmarks made by naughty children on my walls.

I've experienced them enough.  I would like to paint over them.

4. What annoys you more- misspellings or mispronunciations?

 

I think mispronunciations are HI-larious.

For example, my husband says the word "measure" like "MAY-zure."

And he says "creek" like "crick."

It makes me feel superior to him when I correct him. 

 He let's me have my moment, seeing as how my moments are so few.

  (Please see the aforementioned "North" quandary above.)

5. What is something your mother or father considered important?

 

On my 17th birthday, I was permitted to have BOYS and GIRLS over at my house for my birthday party.

What were my parents not thinking?

Anyways.  As we were all watching a movie, my dad walked down the stairs.

Remember my dad?

Well, back then, everyone thought he was terrifying.  And who could blame them?

So, my dad stops the movie and starts in on this story.

"Back in the year blah-blah-blah, I lived in this apartment.  I remember it because . . . .

blah blah blah

drone drone drone

yada yada yada

no one's really listening to me . . .

Anyways, people used to park on the wrong side of the street.  It used to make me so mad! 

 So tonight, as I see all your cars parked the wrong way on the street,  I wonder if my neighbors are annoyed at me.

Move your cars."

So, all my friends got up and left.

And I am not sure if many of them came back.

My dad does not like it when people park the wrong way.

He finds it quite vexing.

6. Do you like or dislike schedules?

 

I love creating schedules. 

It gives me a sense of purpose and fantasticness. 

Is fantasticness a word?

I vote yes!

I do, however, forget to follow my schedules.

Which makes me feel not-so-fantastic.

7. Let's have some fun with National Poetry Month

 (that would be April)...write your own ending to this poem-

"Roses are Red

Violets are blue..."

Roses are Red

Violets are blue

My name is Taylor

How do you do?

***

Oh, darn.  That was dumb.  And I thought about it for a good five minutes.

Oh, well.

8. Insert your own random thought in this space

I gave our dog, Lucy, a bath today.

She was really smelly, on account of all her running around the fields and horse pastures and lagoons and whatnot.

She has an appointment soon for her spaying, so I thought I should spruce her up a bit.

Gross, I know. 

 But these are the facts of life, readers.

These are the facts of life.

It's been awhile since I have given Lucy a bath. 

 I would guesstimate that she has put on about 35 pounds since the last bath.

It was quite the treat to get her into the tub.

I was able to lift her up into the tub, on account of my massive muscles.

(Don't pretend you aren't impressed)

The only shampoo I had for her was something like "Enchanting Waterfalls."

She was actually, dare I say it, well-behaved during the bath.

And I think she was enchanted by the delightful waterfall scent, seeing as how she kept licking my arms the whole time.

She did, however, jump out of the bath whilst she was all soapy. 

But don't fret, dear readers!

I was able to leap across the bathroom in time to catch her.

I have gazelle-like skills.

So, anyways.

I hope that her enticing scent will be enough to deter the

vet from the fact that she is uber naughty.

Maybe he will also "fix" her naughtiness.

Hardy.

Har.

Har.

Alright.  Goodbye.

PS-Go check out the Hodgepodge and join in!