The following is a conversation between us and Little Dude. Please make sure you have enough caffeine in your system before proceeding. Thank you.
David: Did you get your haircut?
Little Dude: Yes. LISA.
David: Did Lisa cut your hair?
Little Dude: YES. Not our Lisa. Udder Lisa.
He has an Aunt Lisa and a Haircut Lisa. Keep up!
David: Is she nice?
Little Dude: No. He's cute.
Me: He's cute, huh?
Little Dude: NO. He's a girl. Not a boy. And he has brown eyes. I love brown!
Too bad Haircut Lisa's eyes are blue. Is it bad that my 3 year old is already noticing beauty in the female gender? Yes? No? Yes?
I don't wanna brag, but he does think I am wee handsome.
In other, equally disturbing news, David and I went to the kids' Awana Parent Night. We were sitting in the sanctuary, minding our own business, when Daisy Mae comes running through the room with a grinning boy chasing her.
Grinning! And chasing. And grinning. Oh my lands, I am not ready for all this.
Random Topic Quick Change!
We have satellite TV. Yes we are some of THOSE people. We also have the DVR and, as a result of this, our kids are major TV snobs whenever they are at my parents' house.
"Fast forward the commercials! Fast forward the commercials!"
My parents have NO CLUE what a DVR is, nor how one might fast forward commercials. I have tried to explain it to them, but to no avail. ANYWAYS, we have the satellite TV and our receiver thingie-ma-bob broke. It just plumb broke. So they shipped us a new one and David was trying to set it up last night. He was, of course, having trouble, because technology is not on our team, so he had to call the help line.
I love David's approach to calling customer service. I feel all of you should do as he does as well.
First, he is greeted by the computer lady who wants to try to troubleshoot our problem, even though she is not a real human.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that."
"Let's try again."
"I think you said, 'No.' Is that right?"
Fake Computer Lady. So annoying. Well, David just starts pushing zero repeatedly until he gets a factual person.
He is on hold for 2 years and then he finds out our remotes no longer work with our new receiver.
And, they would be happy to ship him some new ones for $20.
David: Yeah. How long have I been a customer of yours?
Friendly Associate: Excuse me?
David: How long have I been a customer?
Friendly Associate: Um . . . let's see . . . 5 years, 2 months, and 26 days.
David: Yeah. I'm not paying for remotes.
Friendly Associate: Let me transfer you.
Now. If it was me, they would just inform me that, oh yes, I was paying for the remotes, and I would be reading them my credit card number at that very moment.
But somehow, David gets transferred to some guy who is sending the remotes for free, plus upgrading us to something that starts with an H.
HDMI? HDMTV? H . . . I don't know. Do you? But apparently, its all the rage.
PLUS, they are going to fix a different problem we have that they were going to charge us $150 for last time we asked.
FOR FREE.
All because he said:
"Yeah. I'm not gonna pay that."
Apparently my man has muchos authority. Excuse me while I swoon.
Speaking of David, I am sad to announce that he has not told me the secret code yet. Therefore, he probably does not read my blog after all.
*tear*
And I won't be getting new clothes. Which is a crying shame.
Are you confused? Are you wondering what a secret code is?
You are not alone.
Alright! I must go! But before I do, I have to tell you something humorous about Handsome Dude.
It was chilly this morning, so I made him don a sweatshirt before meeting up with the bus.
Handsome Dude: But, M000000000000000000000m. It will be too hot for me. It will be too hot on the Magic School Bus.
Yes. That's right. He believes he rides the Magic School bus to school everyday.
Oh! And right before he went to school, his nice, clean shirt had brown dusty stuff all over it.
Me: What's on your shirt?
HD: I not know?
Me: Dude. Where were you?
HD: It was dirt from the carpet!
Me: No, I don't think so.
HD: YEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!
So, he was probably lying, but I had no time to care and I just changed his shirt and got him to the Magic School Bus. About 3 hours later, I am cleaning the kitchen and there is brownish stuff everywhere. EVERYWHERE! And it smelled like cinnamon. I was perplexed. Could not figure out what had happened, for the life of me.
Sweet Pea was taking clothes out of the dryer (holla!).
Me: Do you know why there is cinnamon all over the kitchen?
Sweet Pea (without even looking up): No, but that's probably what happened to HD's shirt, Mom.
Dang. I'm only 30 and I've already lost my mind.
Later Dudes.
At least the brown stuff smelled good! Could have been worse....
ReplyDeleteWe just got a new receiver on tuesday and let me tell ya, the technician had some major attitude. He'd never have gotten away with that if hubs had been home. Plus we have a universal remote which they don't program so I have to have the Geek Squad out to make it work with our new receiver. Everything is so complicated!
ReplyDeletegood one!
ReplyDeleteAm eternally glad to know that the brown stuff was cinnamon and not some other questionable brown stuff! And Sweet Pea is gonna be an awesome mom--if she doesn't lose her mind first! Haha! Cause somehow that's what happens to moms!
ReplyDeleteMy husband who rarely laughs (let us not get he and David together--not that we ever will because we live no where NEAR huckleberry picking regions!) said about HD's idea that he rides the magic school bus everyday to school was, and I quote, "That's awesome."
ReplyDeleteDavid scored major manly points for thinking of, "How long have been a customer?" That rocks!
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that the same people who argue with me will do anything my husband asks of them? THAT is why he is in charge of transactions like you described. I flat out refuse to even try.
ReplyDeleteLike others, I too think you should be really happy that the brown stuff was cinnamon and not any of the other hideous possible brown things!
ReplyDeleteOur freakin' DVR is broken right now and it keeps messing up in the middle of our shows. We are spoiled rotten with it and don't ever watch live shows. But in our defense, we have an 8 month old and the only time we get to watch TV is for about an hour in the evening.
ReplyDeleteAt least your husband will call customer service... Mine insists I call then sits beside me asking what they are saying or telling me what to say... This makes it oh so easy to have a phone conversation, by the way. When I offer the phone to him he'll either tell me "you are doing fine" (as if I need his affirmation) or "just handle it" (Dude, I would if you'd shut it for thirty seconds... did I just say that?) I tell him this is the quirk our kids are going to sit around laughing at us about, but then something else breaks/goes haywire and there we are doing it all over again.
ReplyDeleteCan David get me a deal on my satellite tv??? :)
ReplyDeleteIf I give him the number, do you think David would call and deal with my home alarm company? Because they are seriously irritating me.
ReplyDeletehahaha...at least it was cinnamon and not something else!! :) ya gotta be thankful for the small things taylor!! and i totes would have gotten the remotes for free, too!! :) just sayin'!!
ReplyDeleteWe have the same issue hear with our TV (although we do not have a satellite). They have gotten so bad that when they are watching live tv, they get confused as to why they can't fast forward! They can not believe there was a time when you actually had to make sure you were home for your favorite show or you just missed it. Yup, missed it I tell you! They are further confounded that cartoons were only on on Saturday and not even all day. I guess that's what happens when your parents grow up in the Stone Ages.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that at least the brow spill smelled good:)
Christine
http://scraphappychristinescorner.blogspot.com/
Heeehehehhe. At least surrounded by 'little dudes' you will never experience a dull life!
ReplyDeleteI simply adore that the little fella thinks he rides the Magic School Bus. Sweet!!! :o)
God bless ya'll and have a fantastic fall weekend!!!
I handle the sweet talking to the idiots on the phone. I can get it done, yeah me. Hubby wont take their nonsense but his answer is to hang up on them and hand me the phone, so not a real big help there hunny. I see someone else was mentioning reading your blog to their hubby, glad to see I am not the only one who does that lol. By the way my husband thinks your way more hilarious than me, so....I might stop now lol.
ReplyDeleteCan I borrow David? Please??? I never have the cajones to stand up to "those" people when they tell me I owe money for something I feel I shouldn't have to pay for, so like you, I reach for the charge card. I need to grow some.
ReplyDeleteThis post made me laugh and I needed it. Thanks!
ReplyDeletejust wait until they're teenagers.
ReplyDelete