When Flies Attack!

Item #1:

Me, being the fitness guru that I am, have decided to try Zumba.

Don't laugh.

At first, I was intimidated by the whole idea of Zumba.  But my girls told me that my mother-in-law does it, and that encouraged me.

Funny story.  David's brother, Alex, called me last Christmas (like on Christmas Eve) asking for gift idea for his family members.  Because I am super knowledgeable and my in-laws are always coming to me for advice, didn't you know?  Any-who, I told him that Jackie (my mother-in-law . . . keep up!) liked Zumba and he could get her a punch card at the gym for some classes.

So off Alex goes to the gym to buy the card.  He makes his purchase and then looks at the young, helpful, female employee-

Alex:  What exactly is Zumba?

Girl, who may have possibly been trying to flirt with him, but I cannot be certain:  It is a sensual, exotic dance workout . . .

Alex:  STOP!

Alex is still in therapy trying to recover from the thought of his mother doing exotic dance at the gym.   I kid!  I jest!

So me and Zumba are not friends thus far.  I mean, it is fun, but I can't help but feel I am turning it into a country line dance or something.  I don't got rhythm. I can't salsa.  But I can march, so that's something.

We'll see how long it lasts.  (Hint:  not long)

Item #2:

Fruit flies.  Fruit flies are everywhere, dudes.  I don't know from whence they came, but they won't leave.  I have no rotting fruit.  I repeat, I have no fruit.  I have set up 5 homemade traps and they are working, but not fast enough.

We also have regular flies because my children were born without the gene that informs them to CLOSE THE DOOR when they go outside.

Going into my kitchen is like a warzone.  I dare not open my mouth and I complete my tasks swiftly to get the heck out of there.

Yes!  I have a clean home.  Why do you ask?

Item #3

My phone.

Usually, on account of the vast amounts of children running through this house daily, I text or email to communicate to other humans.  But occasionally, I must actually speak to someone on the phone.

Everytime I talk to my mom, this is what she says:

"Taylor!  I cannot understand you!  It's like you have the entire phone in your mouth and are eating it while you are speaking!"

Because that sounds like exactly what I would be doing.  Eating my phone.  But now, my mother polls friends and family to ask if they have trouble understanding me.

And everyone does.

And that information is really pointless, but I felt it was worth blogging about.

Flies!  There are flies everywhere!  How do I get rid of them?

Please Advise.

Item #4-

Hunting season is coming.

And I don't want to talk about it.

Item #5-

Let's do this.



I know, I know.  Nobody even knows what this is anymore.  This is the COW.  Which stands for Comment of the Week.  Of which I am fantastic at updating.

Diana at home made me laugh this week with this comment:

This is a test. this is only a test. this is a test of the “do Lumberjacks read the blog their beloved's blog who spends 20 precious minutes of her day slaving over” system. in the event that the Lumberjack does read the blog, this message will be followed by a trip to the mall. not the dump mall. a mall with cute clothes that show off young elbows. thank you for your patience during the administration of this test.

Ha!  DAVID!  YOU AREN'T READING THIS!  Lame.

Ok.  "Diana at home" is, I believe, my friend MindyLou's sister.  MindyLou sought me out and BEGGED me to be friends with her.  It was sad, really.  But joke's on me because once she hung out with me . . . she never wanted to hang out again.

David has a grand time with that one.

"Oh!  Maybe you aren't as fun in real life!"

"Heard from Mindy?"

"Boy!  You must be really boring!"

I'm not bitter, though.

And for the record, that was awhile ago, and I bug MindyLou every now and again and make her socialize with me, just to hush that husband of mine up.  And she does, out of pity.  Bless her heart.

Happy Weekend!