Ten Things Tuesday

Ten Things I have Learned About Hunting:

1)  You really do have to wear camo.

2)  Hunting gives you a good excuse to buy loads of new weapons.

3)  You must wash your clothes in unscented detergents.

4)  You must wear unscented deoderant. 

Apparently, the deer/elk/bear/and whatnot do not want to smell you.

5)  You must pour deer/elk/bear urine all over yourself. 

Apparently, the deer/elk/bear and whatnot like to smell their urine. 

But not Tide.

6)  "Neither rain nor hail nor sleet nor snow nor heat of day nor dark of night shall keep these carriers from the swift completion of his appointed rounds." 

That is the famous old "motto" of the US Postal Service. 

 Well, to be a true hunter, you must continue to hunt through rain, snow, wind, and hail. 

 You must have the dedication similar to a postman. 

You must trudge around from dawn until dusk, sporting camo and animal urine and stay out there for as long as it takes, snot dropping down your face and everything.

Because hunting is THAT important.

7)  Hunting gives you a good excuse to buy a 4 wheeler.

8)  A cow is a girl elk, and not the animal from whence you get hamburger.

9)  Hunting gives you an excuse to buy a really large toy hauler camper so you can sleep comfortable amidst the rain, snow, sleet, and hail and your 4 wheeler can fit nicely in the back.

10)  People really enjoy hunting.  They really, really do.

I know, I know.

It's okay.

I don't get it either.

A Tribute to My Long Lost Hunter Husband:

I dedicate this post to my husband who has been gone, and conveniently out of cell service, on a hunting trip.

Not only were his four children devastated by his departure, but all four them have contracted what suspiciously resembles the swine flu.

It has been a heck of a week.

And it continues . . .

100 points to whoever can name the artist/song.

200 points to whoever can cure the swine flu.

300 points to whoever can cure hunting.

I kid, of course.

How about 300 points to whoever can rig up hunting camps so that they have cell service?

Is it whoever or whomever?

400 points to whoever/whomever can answer that.

***

 

Oh, my love

 

My darlin'

 

I've hungered for your touch

a long, lonely time.

And time

Goes by

So slowly

And time

Can do

So Much

Are you

Still Mine?

I need your love

I

Need Your Love

Godspeed

Your

Love

To

 

Oooh-Ooooh-Ooooh-Ooooh

Me.

Frugal Friday

I am linking up at Kelly's Korner today!

Visit her fab site for more ideas on where to shop! 

How to save money on a babysitter:

Have your children come down with high fevers, runny noses, sore throats and coughs.

No amount of money can persuade any sane person to come to a house where 4/5ths of the population have a questionable virus.

  I was originally going to have to pay a sitter on Wednesday evening and on Thursday morning this week.

But, no.

Four unconfirmed cases of possible swine flu saved me from this expense.

That's a savings of 100%!

I'll tell you what's NOT frugal:

 

This here ear thermometer.

I believe it cost me about $35.

You can get a glass mercury thermometer for like $3.

But who can read those?

Honestly.

And we all know where we have to put said thermometer in little children.

Let's just not go there.

Literally.

So when you have to take 4 squirmy childrens' temperatures multiple times a day for days on end, it becomes worth every selfish penny to buy a $35 ear thermometer.

So, this Friday is the second Friday for our Blog Carnival, Frugal Friday.

Click on the Frugal Friday badge on the right hand side of this blog to see the host site and view more entries.

Because I am sure others have been more helpful than I have been today.

Okay, okay, okay.

I will be a little more helpful.

If any of you shop at Fred Meyer ever, here is what you need to know:

1)  First of all find the shopping ads.  Most grocery stores around these here parts run their ads from Wednesday through Tuesday.  Fred Meyer runs their from Sundays through Saturdays.  These ads are available in the front of the store.  If you forget your ad, or view it online, and the store is out of ads, just tell the cashier which coupon you want to use and they will honor it.

2)  If they are out of your item, they give you a rain check.  You have 6 weeks to use it.

3)  They always have a good deal on milk.  Averages out to be about $2 a gallon.

4)  They have the cheapest bread.  50 cents a loaf, limit 4.  No coupon, just regular price.   Just freeze the extra.  Pull a loaf out and set it on your counter.  It is ready to go in a couple of hours. 

5)  Fred Meyer brand generic cream of mushroom soup, 50 cents a can, limit 4.  No coupon, regular price. I think it tastes the same as Campbell's.

6)  On Sundays, they have discounted meat that is about to expire.  This grosses me out, however, as I can barely stand extremely fresh raw meat.  I cannot bring myself to buy "iffy" meat.

7)  Sign up for a rewards card.  You earn points and can save money on their gas.  We were able to save 15 cents a gallon!

 

Happy Frugal Friday!

 

It had to be done

What do you do when your house is a disaster?

I mean, a complete disaster.

I'm talking papers and crayons all over the table.

And floor.

Trucks, socks, and crackers behind the couch cushions.

The entire tub of Mega Blocks dumped out everywhere.

And thrown everywhere.

All toy baskets emptied and their contents thrown around the room.

The kind of mess that makes a mother's blood boil.

The kind of disaster that makes her question her existence as a stay at home mom.

The kind of mayhem that makes her think her hunter husband better be darn grateful for such a wonderful wife as she.

What's a mother to do in this situation?

I know!

 

Give the dog a bath!

One of my best ideas to date.

Because it is at this point in the evening that I have given up.

What do I care anymore?

I am all alone.

My house looks like a tornado swept through it.

I've lost all control of the children.

Now, I will try and establish my authority over the dog.

It has to be done.

I do not even remember the last time she was given a bath.

I do remember the last time I  gave her a bath.

I was 39 weeks pregnant with the youngest dude.

I asked the lumberjack to bathe her and he kept "forgetting."

Well, a new, precious, clean baby was going to be coming to our home and Mabel's mangy, smelly fur did not meet my standards.

It was a bad day.

Anyone here ever been pregnant?

Ok.

Think back to the VERY end of your pregnancy. 

You know, when you are ginormous.

And the baby is too big.

And the baby moves too much.

And the baby is downright mean and starts kicking your ribs and punching your sides.

Plus, you are really getting sick of this pregnancy business.

You feel like a ticking time bomb.

Yet, you never know if, when, or even where that time bomb will explode.

Okay.  So that's where I was at.

And Mabel was in a mood.

She decided to be defiant and would not get into the bathtub.

I was in no mood for sass, let alone sass from my dog.

So, I yelled at her.

I pleaded with her.

And I yelled at her again.

She was not going to cooperate.

Dumb dog.

Doesn't she realize that she will not win this one?

I had to lift her up and throw her into the tub.

This was very strenuous for me and my very pregnant self.

The only comforting thought I had during this ordeal was that maybe, just maybe, this would be the extra exertion I needed to send me into labor.

I had reached the point of desperation.

I was not a kind woman to Mabel that day.

I vowed to never bathe her again.

But that is just gross.

So I decided I should only bathe her when I was under no stress whatsoever.

Or 39 weeks pregnant.

And, no, it did not send me into labor.

What a waste of a day.

Mabel must have remembered our last experience.

She was completely cooperative.

She jumped into the tub herself.

She gave me no sass.

No sass whatsoever.

It was the easiest dog bath experience I have ever had.

Good girl.

I did not have to yell or plead once.

Then again, it has been quite awhile since her last bath.

Maybe the other dogs in the neighborhood were starting to talk about her behind her back.

We all knew it was time.

By now, I am sure you have all done a little math in your head and discovered that since the youngest dude is now 16 months old, that it has been 16 months and 1 week since I gave her that horrific bath.

Before you start scolding me, please take into consideration the fact that she was bathed by the lumberjack in the lakes and rivers over the summer.

So hush up.

But, we can all agree, it was long overdue.

 

Grief Counseling

The lumberjack came home yesterday afternoon as promised.

It was a nice intermission in his 9 day hunting trip.

I, for one, really needed the help.

The children are sickly.

I was out of chocolate raspberry creamer.

The diaper supply was running low.

The milk supply was running low.

My patience was running low.

Then again, I am always running low on those things.

 But I got to go to Walmart all by myself.

The lumberjack helped with the girls' homework.

He cut the boys' hair.

He stacked more firewood on the porch.

He vaccuumed.

He made coffee this morning.

I knew there was a reason why I kept this guy around!

He's fantabulous!

Although, he could just be experiencing "hunting guilt."

And I am completely comfortable with taking advantage of that.

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

9 days.

Ha!

I'd like to see him be a stay at home dad all by his lonesome for 9 days.

And let's go ahead and add fevers to the mix.

So, yes, I am in favor of taking advantage of said guilt.

I even got him to help me dust the blinds before he left again.

He did, make one mistake however.

He left before naptime.

I tell ya, if these kids can't break his hunting drive, I don't know what can?

Clearly, the need to kill large game has completely shut down all normal, human emotions in this man.

Oh, the agony.

Oh, the sorrow.

Oh, the snot.

  My girl could not bear to see her brother in pain.

She quickly grabbed a family photo so her brother could see his long-lost father.

Remember this girl from the lumberjack's original departure?

Well, clearly she is now an experienced pro at this goodbye stuff.

She understands little dude's grief.

She empathizes with his pain.

And she's using her past experiences to help him through his grief.

He's not having it.

So we had to call dad on the phone.

And discuss trucks.

And hunting.

And deer.

And elk.

And trucks.

And once he got that manly man truck talk out of the way he felt better.

He said,

"Mommy, hold you."

Which means that he would like me to hug him.

He sucked in his snot.

Said goodnight to his sisters.

And went to sleep.

I love this kid.

Wordless Wednesday