Handsome Dude.
My dear, sweet Handsome Dude.
I am sorry.
But you no longer look manly in your John Deere jammers and your big manly truck when you are begging for Barney.
Sorry.
Barney is not manly.
Well, Handsome Dude's glasses have been missing for over a week.
I
am
a
failure.
But, honestly.
What can I do?
He is a turd.
A turd who insists on dressing himself.
Nice work, Handsome Dude.
Nice work.
I have excellent news for everyone.
I am sure it will thrill you to no end.
Handsome Dude got a brand new pair of glasses!
Doth not he look distinguished?
Handsome Dude?
Is there something on your glasses?
Right there.
On my left, you're right.
Toothpaste!
Of course!
Brilliant!
My Handsome Dude is growing up.
He will be 3 next week.
He is amazing us everyday with his ever-improving language skills.
Here are just a few, yes, just a sample if you will, of the sentences he has delighted me with today:
"Daddy has money in his pockets!"
"Where's Tricia's car?"
(repeat above sentence 28 times)
Interruption: Tricia is the dudes' babysitter when we go to Bible Study on Wednesday nights.
And she returns weekly.
Let's give Tricia a round of applause!
PS-Tricia's car has not been at our home since last Wednesday.
Why is he asking for it?
No one knows.
Or cares.
"Mommy!! (he is shaking and tearing up) Garbage truck so scary! It scare-a-me!"
"Mommy! I tired."
Well, by all means, my love. Shall I show you to your bed?
"That's my a-this!"
This would be his new glasses case.
And in conclusion, I would like to present to you my most favorite recent conversation with my Handsome Dude:
Me: Hey! What's that on the floor?
HD (Handsome Dude! Keep up!): I non't know?
Me: Dooood . . . .did you pee on my washing machine?
HD: No. Ha-Ha did.
Ha-ha is his name for Daisy Mae.
Me: I don't think so, bud. Ha-ha can't pee at such an angle. You peed on my washing machine, didn't you?
HD: Ok, mommy.
Me: That is very naughty. We don't pee on washing machines. We pee in toilets.
HD: Ok, mommy. Love you, mommy.
Yes.
He is a turd.
His newest trick is to con other playmates into allowing him to take home a truck from their house.
Here is his latest loot:
Attention all mothers who may invite my family over to your house:
Please resist Handsome Dude.
He will beg you for your child's prized possessions.
And while he is charming, please do not give in.
This must stop.
Thank you.
In other unrelated news, look at how cute Little Dude is!
I heart Little Dude.
Why?
He has not peed on any of my appliances to date.
Or stolen friends' toys.
***
Random Topic Quick-Change!
In yesterday's post, I got a little silly and mentioned things involving phrases such as *wink wink*.
I was highly stressed about this all evening.
I had to walk around and chant:
"My blog is cute, my blog is fun, and gosh darn it, people like it."
Interruption: If you did not read the post that explains why I say that, please don't think that I think I am all that and a bag of chips.
I don't think I am all that.
Or a bag of chips.
Click on the above link to discover why I chant that.
Or don't.
The choice is truly yours.
Thank you.
The Lumberjack came home late.
I told him I may have made a major mistake on my blog and that he must read it to see if I should delete it.
LJ: You have a blog?
Me: Stop.
LJ: Fine. How do I find your blog?
Me: Seriously?
LJ: I don't pay attention to this stuff.
Me: Clearly. Here you go.
reading . . . reading . . . reading
LJ: This makes no sense.
Me: Oh, no! What doesn't?
My blog is cute, my blog is fun, and gosh darn it, people like it.
My blog is cute, my blog is fun and gosh darn it, people like it.
LJ: Cancun is pro-nude beaches and bazinga?
Me: Bazinga is from a tv show. You hate it. I love it.
No one guessed. Do you not know this show? Seriously?
LJ: What does pro-nude beaches mean?
Me: You didn't notice all the not-so-dressed girls?
LJ: There were not-so-dressed girls?
Me: Yes. And after you got out of the ocean, remember when you went to rinse off? You walked right by them. A whole army of girls. Lotion-ing each other up.
LJ: Ha! I did? I didn't even notice.
Awesome!
It's a good thing he didn't because LJ had this:
to come back to.
Fact: The Lumberjack loves me very much.
Fact: The Lumberjack tells me I am beautiful every day.
Fact: I, too, love the Lumberjack.
Fact: I am super glad he didn't see the not-so-dressed girls. Like, really, really, really glad.
No one has scolded me for my questionable post yesterday.
Then again, I have not heard from my parents since I posted, so for all I know, they might have disowned me.
***
Random Topic Quick-Change!
I am going out-of-town again!
WHHHHHAAAATTTT???!!!
Holla!
I am leaving for Seattle tomorrow afternoon. I will be gone many moons, friends.
Many moons.
I am going sans Lumberjack and sans children.
WHHHAATTTT???!!
Yes.
Tis true, tis true.
I am going with my children's ministry peeps.
We are going to have a swell, grand, glorious time learning about how to be better children's ministry peeps.
We have grand times together.
Here I am with my super-cool homey-g Shelly.
Alright.
That's all for today.
Little Dude has a poo poo in his diaper and it smells nasty something fierce.
Later, dudes!
Happy Tuesday!
Running off again so soon?
ReplyDeleteI do not approve.
Unless there is room for another.
Well?
Any room? I can get to Seattle no problem.
What?! No one guessed Big Bang Theory? It's one of my favs! You're dudes are adorable. I especially love the picture of Little Dude. I did not think yesterday's post was questionable in any way. Don't stress. Your blog is cute, your blog is fun, and gosh darn it, people LOVE it! I wish I could say that about mine! My power phrase goes more like, "my blog is cute, my blog is inconsistent and sometimes dull, and gosh darn it, people don't even know it exist." Haha! (No that wasn't a reference to your daughter, that was me laughing at myself.) :)
ReplyDeleteBazinga...Big Bang Theory. Seriously.. I didn't guess because I figured thousands of people guessed already. I hate to be anything less than number one.
ReplyDeleteHD peeing on the appliances cracks me up! It's always funny if it's not your kid.
Men.. are they whacked, or what? I love how they have tunnel vision :)
Oh Handsome Dude, you scare me. Is my very own Prince Charming going to anoint items in my home as well? Please tell me it isn't so. I don't like random anointings. Is this why God gave me 3 girls and only one boy? Did He know I couldn't take random anointings? Please, Handsome Dude, don't do that anymore. Furthermore...Prince Charming, you are forbidden from discovering the content of this post!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and it is SOO CUTE!! I cant believe you are leaving AGAIN.. this is just not right! Have a great time! Oh and yesterday's post was fine, don't stress too much!
ReplyDeleteI think the only disowning that will be done is that of LJ. I mean, who doesn't like Big Bang Theory?
ReplyDeleteYour blog is cute, your blog is fun and gosh darn it, people like it!
ReplyDeleteThat is a fact girlie!
You crack me up, your kids are so adorable. I hope you have a great time on the children's ministry retreat. And your post from yesterday was great, do not stress over it!
Okay, I just went back and read the post from yesterday. How did I miss that one? I was cleaning all day and wasn't online much. Oh my word the water is gorgeous! Awesome pics of the beach!
ReplyDeleteBack to your question...don't delete. Definitely don't delete. I think the only problem might have been had LJ seen the pro-nude mamasitas (I took French, sorry)
Carry on.
And you may take that in the literal or figurative sense of the word.
Nothing wrong with you winking on your post yesterday. Your only problem would be if other people were winking on your post. : )
ReplyDeleteYou might as well know that males mark their territory. If they can't mark it any other way, they'll pee on it. When my oldest son and my husband butt heads, I often explain to my son that he is peeing on his dad's tree. My son wants to know when he gets his own tree. I told him when he moves out of the house.
Okay, now I'm going to stress about my comment all evening.
I only have girls so I don't know about this peeing thing...very interesting indeed ;)
ReplyDeleteHave fun in Seattle!
So, what did LJ say about the winking? I mean, we found out he is blind(thank goodness), but I like closure to stories like these, you know.
ReplyDeleteI have never had problems with little boys marking their territory inside the house, just outside. But some boys are more territorial than others! :)
I am totally glad to hear I am not the only Mom who calls who kids names....not-so-affectionate names. I was around a Mom who was offended that my kid used the term "butt" around her kid. I said, "Then I guess you don't call your kid a Butthead!" She didn't think I was funny.
ReplyDeleteI am also totally glad to hear that Mr. LJ, who is now my hero, too, walked by the nude bathing beauties and didn't notice them. Good for you, girlfriend! Keeping him in no need of spoils!
You're coming to my neighborhood! Welcome!
"It scare-a-me!”
ReplyDeleteThis is my new, favorite, all-time saying EVER!
I laughed till I cried reading your Cancun posts! I'm glad y'all had a wonderful anniversary.
ReplyDeleteCheryl
Ok, Stuart Smalley.... we do love you... we will not be doing laundry at your house barefooted or allow your son near our toys, but you.... we love your little, big bang theory watching heart....
ReplyDeleteOn a separate note, every time my husband sees that show on he asks "They haven't cancelled that show yet?"... annoying the first time, fiercely so the 200th...
The toothpaste on the glasses match the toothpaste on the couch!! My son absconds with other kids toys when we go to their houses. I always intend to return them the next time we see them but one thing leads to another and I can't remember whose toys they are. And my husband wouldn't notice not-so-dressed women either. Thanks for another gosh-darn cute blog!!
ReplyDeleteWith all the winking going on, who could have seen the nudie girls?
ReplyDeleteI think you are so funny. The word turd...it speaks to me. How sad and weird is that? Did I really just write that? It's so expressive. So is your Handsome Dude. He is one expressive little man. Do you know that he is just a little older than Eliana? She is, like, as small as a Smurf.
They are small, right?
At any rate, she's tiny.
I love the things that kids say...write all of them down that you can remember!! The other day my son (7) (that's his age, not his name) told my older daughter and me that George Washington paid his slaves. My daughter said,"Really?" He shrugged his shoulders and said,"Yeah." She said,"How much?" He said,"About ten dollars." I am not sure if that was ten dollars total or ten dollars a day or ten dollars an hour. I didn't study about that. It's amazing what they are learning in first grade this year. This is also the son that peed on a rug a couple of times so that we actually had to throw it out. Not cool, son!! He also tried to pee on the lid while it was propped up, like a target, and he ALSO tried to pee into the soap holder (the one that is built into the shower) I think just to see if he could do it. I did not like this stage ONE BIT!
Hopefully your Little Dude will not feel the need to pee on appliances or steal toys. He is a cutie indeed. But then again, so is HD.
I think my comments are as long as your posts...I hope that's all right. Have fun on your trip!!
Oooh! Children's Ministry Conference! Awesome. I love people who love children's ministry. They allow me to attend service unencumbered and make my kids love going to church.
ReplyDeleteRich just helped out with a fun music video for our children's ministry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-PmO-ae1OU
you're leaving us again, already?? who can blame you, we are lame!! ;) hope you have a swell time, hurry back!! oh, btw, i got my blog up and running again, though i don't think anyone even noticed i was gone.....
ReplyDeleteI was cracking up over Handsome Dude's toothpaste on his glasses. I'm 33 years old and still manage to do that every once in awhile. Somehow not quite as cute when I do it...hmm. =)
ReplyDeleteMindy
www.thesuburbanlife.com
SEATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat's where I live!! Okay, I don't live IN Seattle, per se, but it only takes me 40 minutes without traffic to get there!!
What conference are you going to?
Do I sound like a stalker?
I bet I do...
SEATTLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!