These are the sorts of shenanigans that occur when sisters take pictures of each other:
And this is what happens when you have to patch your cranky three-year-old son's eye . . .
Wrath, fury, really bad hair, and a dishwasher that just can't seem to get unloaded.
You've been forewarned.
***
I have an "issue" with my husband.
Yes.
An issue.
You see, dear readers, my husband insists we drive large vehicles that require vast amounts of fuel and have impressive towing capacities. Another perk to these vehicles is that they can be easily switched to 4 wheel drive, if ever the need arises.
Herein lies the issue: My husband never feels that the need actually arises.
We can be skidding and sliding and shooting snow out the back tires . . . and I will kindly suggest he easily push the button that switches to 4 wheel drive.
David/AKA LJ/AKA Lumberjack/AKA whatever else he is called: Nah. Don't need it.
Me: Sure we do. We are stuck.
David: Nah. I can get it.
Me: Why? Why, why, why?
David: Because after a couple of minutes, I can get it going no problem.
Me: We have 4 wheel drive. Can we just use it?
David: No. I can do this.
Me: If you've got it, flaunt it.
David: No. I got it.
This is the power struggle in our marriage, folks. And the irritation.
WHY NOT?
It is a requirement that every vehicle we buy (minus the tiny mouse-infested Honda, but that is a frustration for another day) has 4 wheel drive and can tow our house if we needed it to.
SO. Why require it if you refuse to use it?
I will have you know that I have NEVER gotten a vehicle stuck in the snow.
You go ahead and ask my husband how many vehicles he has gotten stuck in the snow.
Or if he has ever taken out our mailbox in one of his "Proud-Drivers-Against-The-Use-Of-4-Wheel-Drive" moments.
Not that our mailbox was taken down by one of our vehicles 9 days ago.
That was just a hypothetical scenario.
In fairness, you could ask me how many car accidents I have gotten into compared to my husband and the answer might knock your socks off.
In more fairness, you could ask which one of us drove a truck about 5 miles with the emergency brake on and scolded the other one for making them drive the stupid, big truck that was smoking for no apparent reason.
Most fairest of all: I have a blog. And he doesn't.
Neener. Neener.
***
Yesterday was a fun-filled day.
We went sledding!
I was pretty proud of that fact that I could squeeze into the snowpants I purchased prior to birthing 4 children.
And I don't use the term squeeze lightly.
My girls did, however, continually ask me if my pants were too small.
Because they looked too small.
I did not let that burst my bubble.
I wore my tiny snow pants with much pride and suffocation.
These were all taken with my fancy new phone.
Preciousness.
Whee!
David: Hey, hon! Get pictures of me going off this jump.
Wait for it . . .
Wow. That jump was . . . impressive.
Handsome Dude had a grand time and did not stop once. Up and down he went. He was so precious and so good that I think I will just have David build a snow mountain for him and then I can set him loose and not have to deal with his naughtiness until springtime.
You might be wondering where Handsome Dude's glasses are.
They broke.
Shortly after the whole patching incident that was mentioned earlier.
Coincidence?
I.
Think.
Not.
Happy Monday!
Hi Taylor.
ReplyDeleteYou sled! That's impressive!
ReplyDeleteSo...I will ask....how many traffic accidents have you had?
That jump looks more like a skid mark to me!
ReplyDeleteThat was probably an immature comment. But hey, let me just throw out that I'm glad if there wasn't a jump because my sisters friend went off a jump once and landed on the sidewalk and broke her pelvis, and my mom had to go sledding down the hill after her (my mom doesn't sled) and the ambulance had to drive down the hill to save her.
Tragic.
I miss my 4 wheel drive. Now I have all wheel drive which is kinda the same thing without the super-hero feeling of being able to push a button to switch into super mode. Doesn't LJ like to feel like a super -hero?
ReplyDeleteYou can call him "David" all you want. He shall always be LJ to me.
My husband also has the whole "4 wheel drive" complex. And he won't use it, either. Although...any instance he may need 4 wheel drive doesn't include snow. It is always sand...or dirt...or hills...or mud. Not much snow in Florida. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI can't wait for snow! I love to sled!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of many years ago when I was helping my husband build a garage. We spent many any evening after work building roof trusses for the garage. I thought we were building our own versus pre-fab ones to save money until I asked how much money we saved by doing it ourselves. His reply - "We didn't save any money". "Then why did we build them ourselves?", I asked. "Because ours can withstand a foot of snow if we got it", he said. We live in Alabama. We haven't gotten a cumulative foot of snow in the past ten years much less all at once!
ReplyDeleteDoes that mean you easily switch to 4WD when needed?
ReplyDeleteMy dear one has scared to pee-pee out of me, for he keeps hinting that we may get orders to Alaska. My "rig" doesn't have 4WD, for it does not snow in the middle of nowhere Texas. Will I survive? Please, Lord, give us orders to Georgia instead!
You might recall that we did a three day offroad driving training course with Mr. Bill Burke, an amazing offroad driving teacher this past fall. He taught us that when one heads offroad with their vehicle, they should always stop and put it in 4WD--his point being that there's no sense in getting stuck without it on, when it might help you get through without getting stuck or having to do any extra work. I'm quite sure you could twist this bit of knowledge to however suits your needs at this time. :-) I've gotten stuck in the woods with my 4WD on, so I can't talk. :-)
ReplyDeleteMy husband longs for a 4WD. Never mind that we live in the extremely flat state of Florida, in an extremely metropolitan area. Sometime I'm sure we'd need it to get out of a parking lot or something.
ReplyDeleteYou're sledding on a golf course aren't you? I don't know much about four wheel drive, but my husband has given me a tour of most of the local courses.
ReplyDeleteHero Husband sympathies,
ReplyDeletebut.
Let us take a moment
to CHEER!
Post Baby Body in Tiny Snowpants - WIN!!!!
Holla snowpants. Holla.
I'm kinda jealous of your snow... It's freezing here, but we have nothing to show for it.
ReplyDeleteMarla @ www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com
Did you see how genius the antler mail box idea is? Because then he will use his 4 wheel drive to avoid hitting the precious thing, and messing up it's points.
ReplyDeleteYou FIT in your Pre Baby SNOWPANTS?
ReplyDelete!
Whatev.
I have not even put on a jacket yet this winter. Mild, wet, foggy, overcast...well, the frogs like it. I have frogs outside my bedroom window, did you know that? They really like it when it rains.
Why was I associated with Banana Bread btw? Were you going to send me some? Speaking of new phones, I am glad that, although you are a crazy texter, you have not restorted to exchanging the word "you" for "u" on your blog. That is my ultimate pet peeve. But enough about me. Let's go mailbox shopping. I bet you can find one with antlers!
hmmmm . . . not sure. Like probably 5 minor ones. :) And one not so minor.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely genius! I shall suggest it immediately!
ReplyDeleteBanana bread-as I was mashing the grossly overripe bananas, I thought to myself, "I bet JoAnn never has gross, super ripe bananas that are black and rotting on her counter."
Because, if I am not mistaken, your children L-O-V-E bananas.
And eggs.
Okay. Not that I'm the jealous or bitter type, but you were sledding, like a mile from my house, and I wasn't invited. NOT that life is all about me, but that would have been fun!! Looks like you were at the local golf course, that's all I'm saying. And did I miss something? Why is HD's eye patched??
ReplyDeleteWait...what happened to HD's eye for which it needed patching?! What did I miss?
ReplyDeleteI have always enjoyed reading your blog, because your stories of your husband remind me so much of mine, but today tops the cake. My husband also never uses 4-wheel drive, but insist we must have it. He has gotten stuck in the snow probably 100000 times, including his trucks at work. I will call him while he is at work and ask what he is doing and he'll say, " Walking up to get the Gator to try to town the truck." This occurs probably 5 times a winter.
ReplyDeleteWe don't have four wheel drive. I wish we did. Whenever my husband gets stuck in the snow, he hands me the wheel and I always get us out. Girl power! :)
ReplyDeleteI had to laugh at the 4-wheel drive issue. I went to trade in my vehicle this year - you can slip it into 4-wheel drive when you need it also. I told car sales manager I wanted my new vehicle to have the same 4-wheel drive thingie and was told by him that here in TX we don't need the 4-wheel drive - I explained that it doesn't snow much here...but when it does I want the 4- wheel drive thingie to avoid the other TX drivers that don't know how to drive in snow and ice! Long story short...when my new vehicle came in... it did not have that option (plus a few others I had asked for)...so I made them take it back and find my trade in with the 4-wheel drive thingie and give it back to me! Their loss...not mine....I'll get my new vehicle eslewhere thank you!
ReplyDeleteMaybe hitting the 4 wheel drive button is akin to men asking for directions when obviously lost; ain't gonna happen. Even if it's using a google ap.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby's rig has 4Wdrive and he always wants to use it. It NEVER snows here in the heart of TX. He flips the switch whenever we get lots of rain or whenever he drives off road - even if its less than 100 yards. Haha :)
ReplyDeletePre-baby snowpants with pride and suffocation... LOVE IT!
I venture to comment that as long as LJ is with you he will NEVER need 4-wheel drive, or a map. He may, however use it when he is alone and stuck in the middle of nowhere. Middle of nowhere? hardy har har. Isn't that pretty much all the time now? Yes, you could make your very own sledding hills I imagine. Fitting in to pre-children anything deserves a Congressional Purple Honor Medal and a trip to Disneyland and Palm Springs. Love the photos.
ReplyDeleteDid Daisy Mae or Sweet Pea use the word "chubs" when referring to your snow pants situation? Because the word chubs is permanently in my vocabularly because of Daisy Mae using it in the dressing room at a store one time.....I think you were shopping for a bathing suit, maybe? Not sure. Might have been sweet pea. Clearly my memory fails, but I still give credit to the fact that I use the word Chubs because of your daughters.
ReplyDeletep.s. can we please come visit and play in your snow? it was 80 degrees over the weekend in Texas and we're desperate for something christmas-y!
You just GOTTA love it when they want to show off and it looks. like......that.
ReplyDelete