Weekend Update

Holla!

This is just a quick reminder that Tuesday is fast approaching.

And I would like to remind all of you that just because I am heading up this Weight Loss Accountability Group, this does not, I repeat, does not, mean I am sailing through this with flying colors.

Remember those pies I made this week?

They were kind of yummy.

So, I would now like to submit that pies, along with exercise, are the devil.

But the pies are a much more pleasant devil.

So . . . Torturous Tuesday is going to be renamed as Fat Tuesday.

Fat Tuesday!

Do you get it?  Do you get it?

Kind of like Mardi Gras?  Huh?  Anyone?  Hello?

The Musician's Wife is making me an html button and I am going to try to figure out who this Mr. Linky is and we are going to pretend we are all fancy-like over here at Lumberjack's Wife.

Do I know what I am doing?

No.  No, I do not.

But it also took me about 6 months to figure out how to rotate pictures, and that didn't refrain me from posting nonsense like this:

So . . . for Tuesday.

Here are the options:

1.  Just leave a comment to check in.  Let us know how you did-Did you meet your goals?  Are you changing your goals?  Did you eat pie when you shouldn't have?  Did you lose weight?

2.  Write a post to link up into this Mr. Linky, if I can figure out how to meet his acquaintance. 

Post Ideas to Link Up:

*Your check-in, or update

*A recipe you like that is healthy

*Snack ideas

*Your favorite foods when you are on a diet

*Your favorite ways to exercise

*How many calories are in pie and a few reasons why one who is feigning to be on a diet should not eat pie right out of the pan at 11pm while making a chocolate cake.

Simmer down, now!

The cake was for a friend.

*And now, for a Weekend Update*

1)  I don't have a mullet.

2)  I had to wear a swimsuit yesterday.

3)  I have not had chocolate raspberry creamer all week.

4)  I am reading Gone with the Wind.  And I love it.

5)  I miss my dearheart friend, Bimlissa.

6)  I miss all my friends.  I live out in the middle of nowhere now.  The Lumberjack has seen my bosom-buddy Amanda more than I have lately.  That's just wrong.

7)  I have been walking some this week.  "Walk, walk.  Power walk.  Walk, walk.  Power walk."  Name that exercise guru!

8)  We are off to clean our darn other house after church today.

9)  Sweet Pea's glasses are still missing

10)   My parent's drove 4 hours one way to go to a store that has a good deal on clothes.  Can anyone else see the humor on this?

Later, dudes!

Weekend Update!

Okie-dokie, artichokies.

Here's what's been going down.

1)  Little Miss came over and spent some time with us.

Little Miss is my niece.

Her mom is the Lumberjack's sister.

Her mom is more woman than I will ever be.

No.

I do not feel inferior to her.

Ok.

I do.

But that is a post for another day.

Little Miss will be a big sister soon.

Like in about 2 weeks soon.

Can I get a "Holla!"?

Raise your hand if you are with me on "holla."

Good.

Cause we have been through this.

Little Miss helped me dust.

Dust?

Yes.

Dust.

I told her she was welcome back anytime.

2)  On Saturday, the Lumberjack and I discussed the plans for the weekend, as all good spouses do.

LJ (short for Lumberjack.  Keep up, dudes!):  Is there anything you wanted to get done?

Me:  Not really.  I just should probably do that bothersome 30 day shred DVD.  That's it.

LJ:  Ok.

Me:  What do you want to do?

LJ:  Well, the Excursion and the truck both need new brakes, so I was thinking of getting that taken care of.

Me:  Well, where are you taking them?

LJ:  Huh?  What do you mean?

Me:  I mean, WHERE ARE YOU TAKING THEM?

Honestly.  It wasn't a tricky question.

LJ:  I will do them.

Me:  Yes, of course.

What a man, what a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.

He's a mighty mighty good man.

(Name that artist)

3)  I did the 30 day shred.  And I lived to blog about it.

Question.

(Name that tv character)

Is it just me, or does anyone else have trouble getting through all that hopping and jumping jack nonsense without having to hit pause and run to the toilet?

4)  The Lumberjack, in all his handsomeness, went to the brakes store.

When he returned, he brought home these:

 And this:

And, also this:

I suspect that my dashing Lumberjack also stopped at the large home improvement warehouse after stopping by the brakes store.

Thoughts?

Well, turns out my husband had grand and glorious plans for this Saturday.

Hold on to your pants, folks!

Taylor's getting a new sink!

And, yes.

He still did the brakes.

No.

You cannot have him.

He is mine.

5)  On Saturday night, we did a little entertaining.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!

Yes, it's true.

We can be classy at times.

We hosted a lovely game/snack night.

I made a new recipe for brownies.

It called for 3 cups of white sugar.

Now, I know that sounds excessive, but when you combine those 3 cups of sugar with 2 sticks of butter and 4 eggs, it just doesn't seem so bad.

Now, the Lumberjack has always preferred brownies from a mix.

But, you see, my big ol' Excursion was out of commission while he was doing whatever needed to be done to the brakes.

So, I was forced to make homemade brownies.

My hands were tied.

I will have everyone know that my Lumberjack declared those brownies to be the best homemade brownies he has ever eaten.

Jason was at game night.

Remember Jason?

Dang.

I am just too funny.

Jason had a hard time remaining focused on game night because he had to text his new honey, Amy.

So, he lost.

6)  On Sunday, the Lumberjack was back into his Mr. Fix-It mode, for when I returned from church, he was out in the backyard with armed with circular saws, air compressors, nail guns and the like.

Interruption:  Lest there be any confusion amongst you, please understand that we all go as a family to church on Friday nights and then the Lumberjack stays home with the Lumberjacklings while I go and serve in children's ministry each Sunday morn.

He was fixing Handsome Dude's trailer.

Handsome Dude has a bike/trailer combo and he loves it.

But, alas.

It broke.

Update on Little Dude's hair:  He still has none.

Men at work.

All better!

Yay, Lumberjack!

Yay!

Please pardon the interruption while I speak to one specific person.

Attention Ms. Little Brown House:

Once Upon a Time, you asked how much wood we would actually use.

Here is the before picture:

That was circa September.

Here is a picture I took today:

Yeah, baby!

We keep the home fires burning.

(Name that artist)

For Taylor's super cool step-by-step instructions on how to build a fire, read this post from the days of yore.

And don't say I never taught you anything.

7)  Finally, we took the kids to the park.

Hands of, girls.

He's all mine.

So is he.

Off we go!

Basketball!

Please notice Daisy Mae.

She is sporting a lovely white jacket.

Are you wondering where Handsome Dude's glasses are?

So are we.

Where is Daisy Mae?

Daisy Mae!

Stop staring at them!

Please, Daisy Mae.

Come join us.

Come away from the light, Daisy Mae.

Come away from the light.

Oh, dear me, Daisy Mae!

What tragic event has taken place?

Daddy didn't give you a turn?

For shame, Lumberjack.

For shame.

Whee!

Raise your hand if you think this is a bad idea.

 

Alright.

I would like to state for the record that, yes, I realize that my posts have become ridiculously long as of late.

I apologize.

It is my goal to write a short post within the next two weeks.

And in conclusion, I would like to leave you with one final image.

I want you to picture with me, if you will, a lovely young lady.

She has long, flowing hair.

She has clear, beautiful skin.

Her skin is somewhat bronze still from the Cancun sun.

She has birthed four children.

Yet, one could never tell.

And when the wind blows, her hair ripples behind her, revealing her bright, beautiful eyes and soft smile.

I am not this woman.

Farewell, dudes!

Weekend Update

Here are some fabulously thrilling things that have happened in our lives:

1)  Handsome Dude prefers to dress himself now.

Shirt on inside-out and mismatched shirt/pants.

Handsome Dude has become quite . . . particular.

If anything gets on his shirt or pants, he must change it immediately.

He runs upstairs, pulls about 25 items out of his closet, and finally settles on mismatched clothing that is usually too small for him.

2)  Are you wondering where Handsome Dude's glasses are?

So are we.

3)  If you are planning on ever potty-training a child of the male gender, please do not look to me for advice.

Clearly, I know not what I am doing.

But I have figured out what my number one problem was:

This toilet seat.

It was what I used while potty-training my girls.

Attention all clueless moms like me:  THIS DOES NOT WORK FOR BOYS.

It does not leave enough spray room for little boys.

Because of this seat, my boy would spray pee on himself.

Because of the pee on himself, my boy would freak out.

Because of the freak out, he would pee on his shirt.

Because of his pee shirt, he would cry and need it changed.

Because he needed his shirt changed, we would be late for school.

That seat is evil I tell you.

Now after my potty training posts, a few of commented that having my boy reverse gears and straddle the toilet would be a better way to go.

But, as I mentioned earlier, Handsome Dude has become particular, and any sort of change is quite traumatic for him.

So for two days, I worked on trying to get him to straddle the toilet and give up the evil toilet seat.

I am happy to report that he does now straddle the toilet and it does seem to work better, as it allows for more spray room.

I have found two kinks with the straddle method:

1)  I have discovered that taking clothes off of a little boy who waited too long to go can be tricky.

He is trying his hardest to hold everything in while I bend his legs and try to remove his pants.

For the most part, we have been successful, but Handsome Dude did wait a little too long the other day and poo poo started sprinkling out on my arm as I was trying to undress him.

And that is why Mother's Day was invented.

2)  Once Handsome Dude is on the toilet, and the pee pee starts coming, he gets excited and forgets to . . . um . . . . steer his little unit.

He's clapping and cheering, but he is not steering.

Now, when that thing is not being steered, the spray just goes rogue.

So, I say:  "Dude!  Dude!  Point it down!"

Then he tries to grab it, and he ends up overcorrecting and sprays his thighs and such.

Raise your hand if you are tired of hearing about potty training?

I promise to never mention it again in this post.

4)  I won a contest over at The Park Wife.

And guess what came in the mail:

An official Pioneer Woman shirt.

Should I keep it or give it away?

Thoughts?

The Lumberjack took that there photo of me.

He had to stop watching "Swamp Loggers" in order to take it.

That's how much he loves me.

What is Swamp Loggers?

 I don't know.

But apparently, it is an exciting show that involves caravans . . .

and something that is referred to as a lowboy.

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can guess why we use closed captioning.

5)  I also won an award from Mindy over at the Suburban Life.

Interruption:  Has anyone else noticed just how many gals named "Mindy" are commenting on this blog as of late?  Apparently, I am very popular with the "Mindy" crowd.  If you know a Mindy, you should share this blog with her. 

Stop by Mindy's blog sometime and say "Holla!"

6)  It has come to my attention that my readers, all 9 of you, along with myself, do not truly know the meaning of the phrase "Holla."

There is a pretty good chance I am using it incorrectly.

But I know some of you are confused because one reader, who shall remain nameless, thought I was saying Holler!

No.

I am not hollering.

And another reader thought I was saying Hola!, as in the Spanish word for Hello.

No.

I am not bilingual.

According to some online source, Holla means: 

interj. 1. an exclamation of greeting. 2. an exclamation used to show excitement or enthusiasm. verb. 1. to call. 2. to summon

Mystery solved.

Adios.

7)  Thanks to MaryGene, I got my 30 day shred DVD working again.

Which is good news and bad news.

Good because I can now work out and hopefully lose 20 pounds in 30 days as Jillian promises.

Bad because that woman is evil and makes me do too many arm exercises, therefore rendering my arms useless for the remainder of the day.

Thanks, MaryGene!

Well.

That's all I have to say about that.

(Name that movie)

Don't forget to try to answer the Lumberjack's mystery question for your shot at $100 bucks.

Weekend Update

Or, since it is Monday, should this be titled "Post weekend Update?"

Hmmmm . . .

Thoughts?

Okie-dokie, artichokies:

Here's some intriguing events that have occurred on the Lumberjack front:

1)  My stairs are now festive, thanks to my friend Kim.

Truly, I did not help one iota.

I swiped my debit card when it came time to pay, and then I attempted to keep the children away from her so she could get her creative juices flowing.

Let's all have a moment of applause for Kim.

2)  You all know that the Tooth Fairy was slacking on Saturday night. 

Well, we had to have a do-over on Sunday night. 

The word is that the Tooth Fairy herself had a splitting headache and was half-asleep when she remembered Miss Daisy Mae's tooth. 

So, she pleaded with her friend, Mr. Tooth Fairy, to take the job. 

Mr. Tooth Fairy came back:  "Are you sure she put her tooth under her pillow?"

Mrs. Tooth Fairy:  "Yes.  She said she was."

Mr. Tooth Fairy leaves again for a few more minutes.

Mr. Tooth Fairy:  "It's not there."

Mrs. Tooth Fairy has to get up and save the day.

Mr. Tooth Fairy follows her into the room and shows her Daisy Mae's pillow.

"See?"

Mrs. Tooth Fairy kindly points out that, while the confusion is understandable, the child sleeping in Daisy Mae's bed is, in fact, Sweet Pea, and that if he actually found the child named Daisy Mae and looked under her actual head, he would find the tooth.

"Wait?  That's not her?"

Seriously, Mr. Tooth Fairy?

The girls just switched beds, that's all.

And that, my gentle readers, is why children need mothers.

3)  I would like everyone to know that my baby, Little Dude, always unzips his jammies like this:

Yeah . . . he's puttin' out the vibe.

4)  We got snow! 

And guess what my Lumberjack did?

He shoveled for me at 6 am before he left for work this morning and he plugged in my rig.

Let's have a moment of applause for the Lumberjack.

5)  We went to the Ugly Sweater Christmas party.

That's Shelly on the left and me on the right.

I have decided that this Ugly Sweater business could get kind of tricky.

If you think my sweater is ugly, my response is:  "Totally!  I know, right?"

If you have one just like it in your closet, my response is: "Yeah, I know!  I couldn't find an ugly one, so I didn't participate."

6)  I outfitted the whole fam in ugly sweaters.  Or, if you like them, perfectly fine sweaters.

Look at the sad state of my home.

Blinds are all messed up and one is even falling out.

Handsome Dude is putting on his sister's shoes.

The only presents under the tree are the ones the girls "wrapped" by putting in brown paper bags.

If you have come to this site for cute home decorating ideas, leave now and don't look back.

7)  Yes. 

I bought the Lumberjack a sweater for the Ugly Sweater Christmas party.

But, apparently, he was just too cool to wear it.

*sigh*

Let's all have a moment to reflect on what could have been.

Thank you.