Weekend Update

Here are some fabulously thrilling things that have happened in our lives:

1)  Handsome Dude prefers to dress himself now.

Shirt on inside-out and mismatched shirt/pants.

Handsome Dude has become quite . . . particular.

If anything gets on his shirt or pants, he must change it immediately.

He runs upstairs, pulls about 25 items out of his closet, and finally settles on mismatched clothing that is usually too small for him.

2)  Are you wondering where Handsome Dude's glasses are?

So are we.

3)  If you are planning on ever potty-training a child of the male gender, please do not look to me for advice.

Clearly, I know not what I am doing.

But I have figured out what my number one problem was:

This toilet seat.

It was what I used while potty-training my girls.

Attention all clueless moms like me:  THIS DOES NOT WORK FOR BOYS.

It does not leave enough spray room for little boys.

Because of this seat, my boy would spray pee on himself.

Because of the pee on himself, my boy would freak out.

Because of the freak out, he would pee on his shirt.

Because of his pee shirt, he would cry and need it changed.

Because he needed his shirt changed, we would be late for school.

That seat is evil I tell you.

Now after my potty training posts, a few of commented that having my boy reverse gears and straddle the toilet would be a better way to go.

But, as I mentioned earlier, Handsome Dude has become particular, and any sort of change is quite traumatic for him.

So for two days, I worked on trying to get him to straddle the toilet and give up the evil toilet seat.

I am happy to report that he does now straddle the toilet and it does seem to work better, as it allows for more spray room.

I have found two kinks with the straddle method:

1)  I have discovered that taking clothes off of a little boy who waited too long to go can be tricky.

He is trying his hardest to hold everything in while I bend his legs and try to remove his pants.

For the most part, we have been successful, but Handsome Dude did wait a little too long the other day and poo poo started sprinkling out on my arm as I was trying to undress him.

And that is why Mother's Day was invented.

2)  Once Handsome Dude is on the toilet, and the pee pee starts coming, he gets excited and forgets to . . . um . . . . steer his little unit.

He's clapping and cheering, but he is not steering.

Now, when that thing is not being steered, the spray just goes rogue.

So, I say:  "Dude!  Dude!  Point it down!"

Then he tries to grab it, and he ends up overcorrecting and sprays his thighs and such.

Raise your hand if you are tired of hearing about potty training?

I promise to never mention it again in this post.

4)  I won a contest over at The Park Wife.

And guess what came in the mail:

An official Pioneer Woman shirt.

Should I keep it or give it away?

Thoughts?

The Lumberjack took that there photo of me.

He had to stop watching "Swamp Loggers" in order to take it.

That's how much he loves me.

What is Swamp Loggers?

 I don't know.

But apparently, it is an exciting show that involves caravans . . .

and something that is referred to as a lowboy.

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can guess why we use closed captioning.

5)  I also won an award from Mindy over at the Suburban Life.

Interruption:  Has anyone else noticed just how many gals named "Mindy" are commenting on this blog as of late?  Apparently, I am very popular with the "Mindy" crowd.  If you know a Mindy, you should share this blog with her. 

Stop by Mindy's blog sometime and say "Holla!"

6)  It has come to my attention that my readers, all 9 of you, along with myself, do not truly know the meaning of the phrase "Holla."

There is a pretty good chance I am using it incorrectly.

But I know some of you are confused because one reader, who shall remain nameless, thought I was saying Holler!

No.

I am not hollering.

And another reader thought I was saying Hola!, as in the Spanish word for Hello.

No.

I am not bilingual.

According to some online source, Holla means: 

interj. 1. an exclamation of greeting. 2. an exclamation used to show excitement or enthusiasm. verb. 1. to call. 2. to summon

Mystery solved.

Adios.

7)  Thanks to MaryGene, I got my 30 day shred DVD working again.

Which is good news and bad news.

Good because I can now work out and hopefully lose 20 pounds in 30 days as Jillian promises.

Bad because that woman is evil and makes me do too many arm exercises, therefore rendering my arms useless for the remainder of the day.

Thanks, MaryGene!

Well.

That's all I have to say about that.

(Name that movie)

Don't forget to try to answer the Lumberjack's mystery question for your shot at $100 bucks.