Ornange and Star

1.  Glasses.

*sigh*

There will be a day when I will no longer have to wonder/worry/fret/despair/go into debt over glasses.

That day has not yet come.

The problem is, dear readers, that my Handsome Dude is not yet ready in the cognitive department to be responsible for a pair of $260 glasses.  However, when he does not wear his glasses, this is what happens to his eyes:

The weaker one turns in.  If he does not wear his glasses, the weak eye will get worse and might become lazy.  And I feel I owe it to my son to not allow his eye to go lazy.

I am failing.  But I am trying.

I've started patching.  I am constantly searching for glasses.  I am constantly scrubbing dirt and peanut butter off the glasses.  I am trying to teach him to be responsible with his glasses.

But what can you expect from a boy who declares his favorite colors to be "ornange" and "star?"

2.  Handsome Dude has 3 pairs of glasses.

Pair #1-Broken.

Pair #2-Broken and scratched

Pair #3-Missing for over a week.

I went to the optical office with the first two pairs.  Pair #1 can never be repaired. 

*Let us have a moment of silence*

Pair #2 can be temporarily fixed but I was told repeatedly that they will break again soon and the scratch is pretty bad.

Pair #3-still missing

I must order a new pair.

Fun Fact:  We lost our vision insurance in April.

3.  Sweet Pea's glasses have been missing for over a month.

I must order a new pair.

Reminder of a fun fact:  We lost our vision insurance in April.

I love the lady that helps us there.  She has been helping us since Sweet Pea was two.  She gave me each pair at half price.

Holla, Optical Lady!

Holla!

So, two new glasses are on the way.

3.  After we ordered the glasses, we went to our old house . . . you know . . . the one we use as a rental, to clean it for our next group.

Guess what Daisy Mae found in the backyard?

Handsome Dude's missing pair of glasses.

Let us pray for all the glasses that come in and out of his little world.

*Amen*

4.  The rental biz is working out nicely, albeit exhausting.   Between June 23 and August 22 we had 8 bookings!  And we have monthly renters coming in from September through May, and then we will do vacation renters again in the summer months.

5.  I am kind of sick of the vacation renter concept and ready for a break.  It is a lot of cleaning.  And with homeschooling looming around the bend, I would like to not have that extra worry in my life.

6.  News of good tidings!  I am kind-of-sort-of-maybe getting excited about homeschooling!

7.  News of sad tidings!  I am kind-of-sort-of-maybe terrified of homeschooling.

8.  I threw caution to the wind and put huckleberries on my oatmeal this morning.

It was like Christmas for my tastebuds.

Huckleberries are delicious.  They are just a drag to go get.

Do not, I repeat, do not, inform my husband that I used the precious berries so frivolously.

9.  My kids pronounce huckleberries like, "HAWK-le-bewies."

Raise your hand if you have noticed that this post has been . . . pointless.

This is because I didn't want it to seem all about the next portion. 

Which is, in fact, the whole reason for this blog post.

Brace yourselves. 

10.  Last night, my husband went huckleberry picking.  He came home and was cleaning the berries and putting them in the freezer bags.  We were chatting.

Or, more accurately, I was chatting and he was feigning interest in what I was prattling on and on about.

Suddenly, I looked at his face.

Me:  Dude!  Your forehead is cut!

LJ:  Yup.

Now, this is not rare.  He is always coming home with cuts and scrapes, missing fingernails, and bandaged wounds from where a nail gun went through his hand.

My Lumberjack?  Injured?

It ain't no thang.

Me:  When did you get that?

LJ:  Huckleberry picking.

Me:  How?

LJ:  A squirrel jumped out of the brush and attacked me when I was picking.

Me:  NO!  Really?!?

LJ:  Yes, Taylor

Me:  Oh, that's fantastic!  Can I please take a picture?!

LJ:  Whatever, Taylor.

Me:  It might end up in my blog.

LJ:  I am sure it will, Taylor.

Me:  Oh, but it is so funny!

LJ:  Whatever, Taylor.

Me:  Speaking of my blog, you should read it today.

LJ:  Why?

Me:  Because Running Bear loves Little White Dove.

LJ:  You are a dork.

Me:  At least I did not get attacked by a squirrel.

***

Happy Thursday!

Date Night.

On Monday night, The Lumberjack and I went out on a date for his birthday. My sister, in a cooperative agreement with my parents, watched the four rascals, and off we went to our favorite restaurant.

Local Readers Take Note:  Our favorite restaurant is that one with Mediterranean Cuisine that you must avoid on Thursday nights due to the fact that it is "Belly Dancer Night" . . . for Ms. Belly Dancer has no qualms about sashaying right up to your table and jiggling all her belly-ness in your face.

Can't a girl eat her ginormous Greek salad topped with chicken in peace?

Belly dancing.

It's not for the faint of heart.

And apparently, it is also not just for those with flat bellies.

Who knew?!

My husband and I always order the same items at this restaurant.  He gets the lamb kabobs with an extra skewer of meat, while I get a Greek Salad topped with chicken and give his lamb meat funny looks.

Who eats lamb?

I do not like skewers of lamb.  I will not eat them Sam I am.

(Name that book.  Kind of.  Cause I changed it.)

I realized that I am getting old. The waitress accidentally brought me the small Greek salad topped with chicken, and not the large Greek salad topped with chicken.  In my youth, I would have been too embarrassed to say anything.  But now that I am 29, I told the waitress I would be needing more salad.

Yes.  I am now one of those people.

Also.  The Lumberjack turned 30, so he is now super-weird and asked for a little extra green beans, seeing as how he loves the way this restaurant prepares green beans.  So, they brought him a huge plate full of green beans and his heart sang with garlicky goodness.

And guess what!  The manager gave us our entire meal for free . . . just because! 

It was so much excitement wrapped up into one night for us olden peoples.

But wait, there's more!

Since The Lumberjack had to meet us in town, he still had his work van and I had my large Excursion.  As we were driving home in our separate vehicles, The Lumberjack called me from his work van.

LJ (short for Lumberjack . . . keep up, people!):  Hey!  Turn on the radio!  I requested a song for you.

Me:  Ok!

Now, dear readers, this is a treat!  How often do menfolk call into radio stations and request romantic songs for their little ladies?  The kids were upset with me because I turned off the reading of Farmer Boy (name that author), but I didn't care!  I kept trying to rack my brain for what sort of country-western song my husband could possibly have dedicated to me.

Oh, the excitement!

Oh, the anticipation!

Suddenly, I hear my husband's voice on the radio.

LJ to DJ:  Yeah!  I was wondering if you could help me out.  I want to hear this song and it's like really, really old and it's about a yada yada yada and a blah-blah-blah.

Interruption:  I don't remember what he said.  Forgive me. 

This is the song he requested for me:

 Running Bear by Sonny James. (If you click on the play button below, the song will start playing.  Hopefully.)

I ain't gonna lie . . . I was a trifle disappointed.  But, it is what it is.  So, to make the best of it, I decided I would do a song tribute to me and my husband to the lyrics of Running Bear.

It has been awhile since I did a song tribute and I know you have all been aching for me to do one.

***

On the bank of the river stood Running Bear, young Indian brave

On the other side of the river stood his lovely Indian maid

Little White Dove was her name, such a lovely sight to see

But their tribes fought with each other, so their love could never be

Running Bear loved Little White Dove

With a love big as the sky

Running Bear loved Little White Dove
With a love that couldn't die

He couldn't swim the raging river 'cause the river was too wide

He couldn't reach the Little White Dove waiting on the other side

In the moonlight he could see her throwing kisses 'cross the waves
Her little heart was beating faster waiting for her Indian brave

Running Bear dove in the water, Little White Dove did the same
And they swam out to each other through the swirling stream they came

As their hands touched and their lips met, the raging river pulled them down
Now they'll always be together in their happy hunting ground

***

You may ask, "Taylor!  Why are all those pictures different sizes?"

Well, dear readers.

I have no idea.

Happy Wednesday!

PS-I told you my husband likes super old country tunes.

Fat Tuesday: Fail Edition

Well.

I didn't do so well this week.

Not once did I enter points in at Weight Watchers. 

FAIL!

Not once did I exercise.

FAIL

I have been following doctor's orders and been doing well on the low-cholesterol diet.  I have not even had a smidgen of beef.

WIN!

I was very busy and had a crazy week.  Lots of running around town and eating out. 

FAIL!

I did try to make good food choices while eating out,

WIN!

 but I have no idea how many POINTS I ate all week because I didn't pay attention.

FAIL!

This week I maintained my weight.

I am trying to do better at fitting exercise into my day.  It is always the last thing on my mind and the last thing I want to do during nap time.

Any suggestions?

Does anyone have any fun exercise ideas?

Do not even mention this woman and her plank janks.

Me no likey.

No offense to Ms. Michaels, as I am sure she is a lovely person with rock-hard abs.

Here are your options for this present time:

1)  Check in by simply leaving a comment.

2)  Write an update in a blog post and enter it in my friend Mr. Linky, of whom I will introduce to you in mere seconds.

3)  Link up any sort of post that would fit into our parameters into Mr. Linky.

Suggestions:  healthy recipes, snacks, favorite healthy treats, favorite ways to exercise, weight loss stories, things that have worked for you, etc.

Even if you have a post from awhile back, feel free to link it.

Please link back to this site.

Also, you may join in Fat Tuesday at any time you see fit.

Click on the actual words Mr. Linky to enter your link or to see the links that others have entered.

 

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

The winner of the giftcard was Molly!  Molly go ahead and email me your address and I will send you a Starbucks giftcard!

thelumberjackswife@gmail.com

 

Thank you to everyone who came over here and signed in!

Sadly, not everyone made it over here.

Here is a list of the Missing . . . and presumed sick of me:

Aunt Trudee

Uncle Greg

Brother Danny

Sister Meagan

Sister-in-law Lisa

Bro-in-law Jason

Girlfriend-of-Jason, Amy

Girlfriend-of-Alex, Holly

And numerous cousins.

Please notice that these people are all related to me in some form or another.  I fear they are sick of me.

My mom and dad made it, though!

My dad made it all by himself.

My mom had to have me enter her comment for her.

Does that count?

I vote yes!

Also, I have no idea if any of the email people survived the site change.

I haven't heard from them.  But I never hear from them.

They probably spammed me.

ha!  kidding!

Or.

Am.

I?

So, once you take all of that information into account, all you who suffered through my droning  and made it over here surely deserve a pat on the back!

Happy Tuesday!

The Lumberjack is 30!

Today is my husband's 30th birthday.

Let us all pause to bemoan the reality that he is, in fact, stinkin' old now.

Today he is working.  Of course.  But yesterday, we got in a little family time at the beach.

Does he not look like a man who needs more children?

Handsome Dude is getting to be quite the little swimmer.

Quite.

Little Dude has no fear of the water.  He just walks and walks and walks . . . till his head is covered and he can breathe no more.  The Lumberjack had to go on a rescue mission.

So mommy coerced him into playing with his sand toys.

For, at the very least, I find it my duty to keep my children alive.

LD (short for Little Dude . . .keep up, people!):  Mama!  Bird!

Me:  Where?

LD:  Bird, mama!

Me:  Where?

LD:  Sky!  See?

Me:  No . . . where?

Fact:  I enjoy exasperating my children.

LD:  SKY!

LD:  What in the heck is wrong with you, Mother!  The bird is right there!  Can't you see it?!  In fact, there are about 20 birds, also called seagulls, who are flying high in the sky right now.  And, mother, if you would just focus and stop clicking that stupid machine, you would see them!!

Me:  Ok, baby.  I'm sorry, baby.

LD:  Sheesh.  That woman is impossible.

Back to Handsome Dude.

I suspect, dear readers, that Handsome Dude is flirting with me.

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can tell me where Handsome Dude's glasses are.

Me:  David.  We should make huckleberry milkshakes for dinner tonight.

Interruption:  Let us pretend that I am not on a diet and that I did not suggest that delicious frozen treat for dinner.   Thank you.

LJ (short for Lumberjack and also an alias for David . . . keep up, people!):  Sounds good.  But we are giving the kids rocky road ice cream or something.

Me:  Why?  It would just be easier to make huckleberry milkshakes for everyone.

LJ:  Dude!  I am not wasting huckleberries on the kids!

Me:  Are you serious?

LJ:  Yes.  They can't have them.

People.  I told you he was intense with the berries.

We did not see the girls all evening.

Turns out they are fish.

Who knew?!

And now, dear readers,

Ten Things You Might Not Know About My Husband:

1)  He detests sand in his truck.  Sure, it is cool if there are pop cans, candy wrappers, elk calls, maps, tie-downs, hand-warmers, and chainsaw-ear-plugs littered about his truck.  But he draws the line at sand.

2)  He must eat his cereal in a certain routine.  Or else the universe will collapse.  Cereal in bowl. Shape it.  Pour milk.  Sprinkle Sugar.  If the sugar goes on before the milk, the cereal is deemed unfit for human consumption.

3)  When he gets really excited, he sings in a super loud falsetto voice.  This usually only occurs whilst camping, rock sliding, hiking, and berry picking. 

4)  He has been coveting bulldozers.

5)  He wants a horse, but he is playing it off like it's the kids who want a horse.

6)  He has a ginormous wallet that sticks out his back pocket with a fancy western-like medallion on it.  And, upon several occasions, people stop him and tell him that his wallet is falling out of his pocket.  And he has to tell him that, no, it is completely in his pocket.  It is just disturbingly large.

7)  He once recorded a 12 hour live cattle auction on our DVR.  This was almost the end of our marriage, because, dear readers, I cannot wrap my brain around what on earth would possess someone to even consider watching a live cattle auction.

8)  He really likes his Eastman's Hunting magazine.  So much so, that I must call and/or text him immediately when it arrives in our mailbox so he might anticipate it all the way home.

9)  The best thing I could ever do for him is buy him a new toothbrush.

New toothbrushes have stood the test of time and never lost their excitement or pizazz in our 10 year matrimonial agreement.

10)  He is a good dad and husband and we love him very much.

Happy Monday!

Let's talk about marrying each other tonight.

When Bimlissa and her family moved to far, far away, not only did I lose a good friend, my girls lost a good friend.

Fun Fact:  Bimlissa's name is not Bimlissa.  It is, in fact, Melissa. 

Confused?

You are not alone.

Anyways . . .

Bimlissa has a little girl who became dear friends with my girls.  And just this week, my girls got a letter from Bimlissa's daughter.

My girls have been totally into dressing up like twins these days.

And they insist on doing their own hair daily.

Pray for me.

***

It's time for the COW (Comment of the Week)!

Don't pretend you aren't ecstatic.

This week's winner is Andi with her comment on Pepper Spray and Sand Castles.

And for fun, I am going to  put Andi's comment in ITALICS and my responses to her in regular font.

You know . . . for kicks and grins.

"Taylor: You are so beautiful.

Oh, stop!  You are making me blush!

And, I mean that in a totally nonstalker, non-psycho sort of way.

Hmm . . .

Oh, and not only am I coveting your ruralville house that I have no clue where it’s at…I covet your chances to camp. Not huckleberry pick, mind you, but camp and hike and have fun. My hubs has got to find more free time!

Feel free to take my place at any time!"

I know what you are thinking, dear readers.  You are assuming that I, yes, I, Taylor Mal-i-blah-blah, picked dear Andi because she said I was beautiful.

Nevertheless!

I would like you all to know that I am fully aware that several (we are talking 40-ish) of you clicked on this horrendous picture of me, seeing as how you felt the need to enlarge it and gasp at my ghastliness:

Attention 40-ish readers who enlarged aforementioned image:

I didn't have any makeup on!  Nor did I take a shower!

Yes.  I shower and apply cosmetics whilst camping.

I am one of those people.

So, if Andi, who is clearly a kind reader, chooses to ignore the make-up-less picture and focus on the post-shower-post-makeup picture:

Then she, my friends, will be my COW.

***

Random-Topic-Quick-Change!

I walked into my parent's house this afternoon and my sister thrust, yes, thrust, an old note at me.

Me:  What's this?

Meagan:  One of your old love letters.  I had a fantastic time reading it.

It was from a boyfriend I had in the 9th grade, who shall remain nameless, but will be referred to as "Old-boyfriend-whose-name-started-with-a-K."

Other names have been changed to protect the innocent.

My Sweet Tay-Tay,

Taylor,

I couldn't write you in math because I had so much homework.  Mr. M- is so cool.  Jane is a dork.  I don't know why she tattles on people.  She is a big stuck up person.  As you can tell, she gets everything she wants.  I had a great time last night.  I hope you don't get my cold.  That's what you don't need.  I need to give her my notebook pretty soon.  I love you so much.  Let's talk about marrying each other tonight.  I could of talked to you last night till late but I had to fold clothes.  My mom is coming home Friday but will be here Saturday of this week.  I am trying to write neat write now.  It's HARD work.  I think Liz is turning into a Jane, too.  Your knees haven't bothered you in awhile, or else you haven't told me.  the bell is going to ring in about 1 min so I'll stop.  Taylor Marie I love you a lot.

Love,

K

PS I forgot to write about doing something this weekend with each other we should.

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

Becky.

We must discuss this atrocious note:

A)  Can we not all agree that high school is a place we do not want to revisit?  No?

B)  "I hope you didn't get my cold."  Yowsers!  Was I old enough to be smooching boys whose names started with "K's"?

Dear Lord,

Please help this to not be the 1 out of 20 posts my parents read.

Amen.

C)  "LET'S TALK ABOUT MARRYING EACH OTHER TONIGHT"

Holy high school, Batman!

Does that statement disturb anyone else?

D) He was trying to "write neat write now."

Fantastic!

100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can correct that grammatical error.

In conclusion, here are some things I have learned from this note:

1)  My girls will never date any boys, let alone ones whose names begin with the letter "K."

2)  What was his beef with Jane and Liz?

3)  Did I have beef with Jane and Liz?

4)  My girls are never speaking to boys, let alone boys whose names begin with the letter "K."

5)  What in the heck was wrong with me?

Dear Lord,

Please help my girls to never, ever, ever, date anyone ever.

Until they are 30.

Maybe.

Amen.

Oh, drat!  I need to add something.

Dear Lord,

Please help my boys to never, ever write notes like that to any girls ever.

And help them not to date.  Ever.  Or at least until they are 30.

Amen.

Fun Fact:  The day after that relationship ended, "K" went on a rafting trip and got himself another girlfriend.

The very next day!

Guess who was on that rafting trip with him?

The Lumberjack.

***

Random-Topic-Quick-Change-Finale!

If anyone is in need of a blog host, check out Cloudul, who is currently doing Lumberjill's blog hosting.

Do not ask me what blog hosting is or why one needs such a thing.

I am an internet ignoramus.

Happy Weekend.

PS-Fat Tuesday is Tuesday.

Hence the name.

Sundry Topics on a Thursday Morn

1. My boys have been slightly naughty regarding nap time. 

Mostly Little Dude.

Just look at him.

He's such a naughty-pants.

My boys share a room, and, more often than not, they pretend like they are going to fall right asleep when I put them down

Fakers.

About 15 minutes or so later, I hear sounds.

Sounds of fun.

So, I march downstairs, in my best mad-mommy way, and I discipline them.

They act shocked and bewildered, say, "ok-mommy-sorry-mommy" and then they go to sleep.

2.  The other day, I put them down for a nap.  Awhile later, I heard strange noises. 

I ain't gonna lie . . . I was annoyed. 

But, to my surprise, my boys were fast asleep.

Turns out twelve turkeys were having a meet-and-greet in my very own backyard.

I deemed this "text The Lumberjack at work" worthy.

My text:  12 turkeys in our yard right now.

His text:  Shoot them and serve them for dinner, Laura Ingalls.

(Name that book series)

Now, that is where I draw the line, Lumberjack.

You can force me to move out to the middle of nowhere, set up trail cameras, shoot targets off our very own deck in your unmentionables, and strongly encourage me to give up my roomy Ford Excursion for a not-so-roomy Honda Accord.

This I do because I love you.

But I will not ever shoot a turkey, pluck it's feathers out, and serve it for dinner.

Thank you

3.  The town we moved from has about 55,000 people.

Sad Fact:  The town we moved to has 223 people.  Or, more accurately now, 229 people.  Plus a golden retriever.

Sadder Fact:  We don't even live in that town.  We live in country of that town.

Fun Fact:  I am in close proximity to a Nudist Resort. 

8 months ago, we weren't even considering moving.

Let us have a moment to ponder my new life circumstances.

*thank you*

4.  My husband really likes country music.  Not current country music, but the old stuff. 

I recently discovered that he has the country radio station's song request line programmed into his phone.

Who is this man?

Now, this particular country station boasts its playing of super old stuff.

My Lumberjack phoned in a request the other day and it was denied.

DJ:  Sorry, man.  That song is way too old.  No one listens to that anymore.

Tough break, Lumberjack.

Tough break.

5.  Handsome Dude's glasses are missing.

Don't lose heart!

He's pretty sure they are either at Target, the grocery store, or the park.

So, that's helpful.

6.  On Monday, the girls were getting along swimmingly.  They were playing dress up, so they came upstairs in their fanciest attire to request a movie and popcorn.

Daisy Mae:  Mom!  We are pretending we are sisters today and I love it!  It is soooooo much fun!

Perhaps they should pretend they are sisters every day, seeing as how they did not fight once that day.

7.  Remember how I told you that my in-laws L-O-V-E huckleberries?  Well, last night they all met up and went picking together after work!

Such fun-family-togetherness!

Notice how I was not invited. 

Darn.

The Lumberjack got home way past his bedtime with his heart all-a-flutter:

"Look at the size of these, hon!  Best huckleberry picking ever!"

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

Who is this man that I married?

8.  My marmie took the day off from work, so I am going to put on my "going to town" clothes and head off into civilization today.

Bonus:  I get to take the Ford Excursion!

Can you believe my luck?!  Such luxuries!

Perhaps I will don my pearls, too.

Lest any of you are confused, Lumberjill does not own pearls.

9.  If you haven't yet, feel free to enter the Target/Starbucks giveaway.  You can enter until Tuesday. (one comment per person, por favor)

If you would like to, click here.

Alright!  It's time I hopped in the shower and get my self all purty-like!

Happy Thursday!