My burnt bacon finger has healed quite nicely and I am ready to continue on with the recap of the weekend festivities.
Aren't you lucky?
As I mentioned before, I had stayed the night at my parent's house and my family drove back home to the snowy wilderness.
Have you gone back as an adult to sleep at your parent's house?
It is strange.
It is like stepping back in time. My parents still act the same as they did when I was a young lass. I think they might even have the same pajamas.
It was freaky.
Mother and I woke up and started off to shop around 7am, which is quite lazy for us on a Black Friday. We shopped and shopped and shopped and hardly spent any money at all!
Not.
Something to ponder: Is Black Friday still a good deal if you spend your life savings in one morning frenzy?
But the deals, man! The deals! Somebody has to take advantage of them.
If not me, then who?
Right?
Hello?
Little Dude dropped my phone on Thanksgiving morn and it broke open into a million pieces.
I have instructed him numerous times that he is not to ever, under any circumstances, touch my phone.
Ever.
Period.
So. I was surprised that this happened seeing as how my children always listen to their mother's instruction and never disobey me.
Before my mother and I headed home, I asked her if we could stop by the Verizon store.
Me: Hi. My phone broke and I need a new one.
Helpful Verizon Associate: Ok. What kind of phone are you looking for?
Me: Whatever is free with my upgrade. And I like the whole qwerty keyboard for texting.
I text. I text a lot.
I am one of "those" people.
Helpful Verizon Associate: Ok, let me see . . .
Me: Oh! And I don't want any of those data plans. Just a free phone and no data.
Lest any of you are confused, the data plans are extra charges a month for use of the Internet on your phone. I think. Maybe.
Helpful Verizon Associate: Well, I do need to show you our Black Friday special.
Me: Fine. But no data.
Guess what I left with.
It's a good thing I stuck to my guns.
Holy cow! It's like having the World Wide Web, A Kindle, A Music Player, A Camera, and a Computer in my pocket everywhere I go!
Oh! And a phone! It has a phone function, too!
Could I be any cooler? Shall we take bets on how quickly one of the children will break it?
I have implented a new "Thou Shalt Not Ever Touch Mother's Sweet New Phone Ever" rule. And we all know how well my children listen to me.
No need to worry.
I had been contemplating trying to buy my father's Kindle that he received for Christmas last year. He has not touched it since my sister tried to show him how to use it.
He was, as usual, being a snooty-pants about it all and trying to pretend that he is going to get around to it eventually.
Now he has a one-book Kindle.
But my magic phone has a Kindle app on it! For free! And there is a Kindle store. With books . . . for free!
And it is safe to say that I have used a Kindle more than my father already.
Attention Dad: I would like to formally withdraw my offer to purchase your One-Book-Kindle. Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda, Dad.
Shoulda. Woulda. Coulda.
Oh, and don't even get me started on this Pandora business.
I have never heard of Pandora. I have been enlightened. Does the whole world already know about this Pandora of which I speak?
I bet my dad doesn't.
I am now too cool for school.
Alright. Well, after all of that nonsense, we had to head over to my sis-in-law's house for some more food, fun, and fellowship in celebration of my ma-in-law's birthday.
Jason and Amy were planning on driving from wherever-it-is-they-dwell to wherever-it-is-we-dwell to spend some time with us. But the roads were nasty bad and they had to stay put.
Boo, nasty roads.
Boo.
Whilst we were eating, Jason happened to call and asked to be put on speaker.
Hmmm. Things are getting suspicious.
Jason: Hi, everyone!
David: You're engaged!
Jason and Amy: *awkward laugh*
I try to control my husband, Amy. Honestly, I do. But he is crazy and insane and weird and likes to hunt and has 4000 guns and refuses to smile and likes to fall trees and doesn't eat cream cheese and sings in falsetto when he is picking huckleberries.
He is beyond help. My apologies.
Jason: Yes, everyone! We are engaged!
Oh, for the excitement of it all!
Amy! Amy! Do you not read this blog? Are you not aware of what you are getting yourself into??
Being a Maliblahblah is not for the faint of heart.
Consider yourself warned.
Ha! Kidding!
Amy shall make a splendid Maliblahblah.
Alright.
Happy Monday!
PS-Ha! Did anyone think I was pregnant from my clever title?!
You've been punked!
I too recently discovered Pandora and I LOVE it. It's the only thing I can think of that would make me upgrade to a phone with a data plan. I just got a new phone though, so no dice.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to Jason and Amy!
Awesome phone, you could conquer the world with that thing!
ReplyDeleteI was assuming another pet...
Typo? Isn't it falsetto?
Yea for a new sis-in-law!! She seems like a sweetie =) watch out with Pandora on your phone...it sucks up your data! Are you cool and have unlimited data? I don't and learned the hard way. Pandora Christmas stations have been playing on my laptop since Thanksgiving!! You can even type in Taylor Swift if your feeling rebellious =)
ReplyDeleteYes, unlimited. I told you I was too cool for school!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
ReplyDeletelook at you with your speedy reply! it's like we are instant messaging =)
ReplyDeleteI was totally the first comment until I got distracted by baby for a moment - not fair!! I thought I might move back up into number 1 friend ranking!!
ReplyDeleteAll this techy talk is way over my head! But your phone does sound snazzy!! Congrats on the new addition to the family :)
ReplyDeleteOooh, parallel lives...I am off to the Verizon store today too. My children did not damage my phone in any way shape or form because they only use my phone if I make them. Their phones are way cooler than mine to begin with and I fear I sometimes frustrate my children in all things technological much like your parents do you. Well, less than that but still, I annoy. Daughter1 is oh so happy she is here to go to the Verizon store with me. I actually may not have told her we need to stop there.
ReplyDeleteI know Pandora. I have an Ipad with more than one book on the nook app. I just used the word app.
Congrats on the new addition...always fun to add sister in laws to the family! I read your blog so I did not for one minute think you were adding a baby. I did consider that you might have truly gone off the deep end and added another puppy but I quickly squashed that idea.
I get a new phone in April and I can hardly wait! Then I, too, will be like all the cool kids with the fancy phones! :) Congrats on the new sis-in-law! I totally knew better than to believe your tricky title, though.
ReplyDeleteOh, I was just having a conversation with my mother about the maliblahblah boys. (they were deemed the "Untouchables" from my high school years by many a girl, both young and old. I don't think they ever knew this) I was wondering if the question had been popped yet. (this is, of course, a silly question since I probably know more of the happenings in said family than my mother, because of your uber informative blog, Taylor dear)
ReplyDeleteAnyway.....I DID say "I bet he does it on thanksgiving or christmas" when we were talking about Jason.
So I'd like to take a little credit ya'll.
just a little.
just don't tell Jason....
or Amy....
or David....
Is it kind of strange that we talk about all those people from that place where you are?
probably....but I live there no more.....and I feel I miss much. I must be informed on such things.
Thanks Taylor! I am super excited to be a Maliblahblah! You guys are a ton of fun and you know it! Can I just say that I am quite impressed that you got a picture from a text to your blog! You have skills!
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness....
ReplyDeletethere she is!
she DOES read your blog!
Hi amy:P
By the time I read the whole post I forgot the title! Just kidding. Holla! :)
ReplyDeleteI thought it was another dog. Lucyfur needs a sister.
ReplyDeleteAmy SoontobeMaliblahblah- super congrats! Hubs and I got engaged on Turkey Day 1994. It is a superb day for engagements, as we are still together how many years later?!? ;)
Congratulations on the add-on! But can she bake a huckleberry pie?: )
ReplyDeleteThe photo montage killed me. It just was...awesome.
ReplyDeleteI hate texting. I cannot do it. I CANNOT! So, I don't even have my phone set up to receive texts. I live in the stone ages.
And we might have the same phone. We just got new ones last week.
ReplyDeleteI love this post!! Congratulations Jason and Amy!
ReplyDeleteThis is the best line: Being a Maliblahblah is not for the faint of heart.
If I didn't already adore you...then you say "you got punked" and now my adoration has tripled.
ReplyDeleteLove the story. Amy is a lucky gal...the photos are proof of that. My fave is the boys in the garbage bags. Hee heee. Love it.
Is it wrong to say that I was hoping you weren't pregnant as I love the fact that we both have 4 kids--2 girls and then 2 boys! LOVE it! I feel like we are connected through invisible non-existant lines of data called the web!
ReplyDeleteCongrats on getting the lovely Amy as a future sis-in-law! She's a gem. And Jason's pretty great too, so I'd say they're a match. See you at the wedding!
ReplyDeleteActually I was thinking you were so thrilled with your new phone, that you were considering it an addition to your family! Ha! I love Pandora!!!
ReplyDeleteA Kindle on a phone? What is this Pandora thing of which you speak? And do yourself a huge favor and buy a protective case post haste. Those things shatter at the blink of an eye.
ReplyDeleteOh, my bad manners! Congratulations to Amy and Lumberjack's Brother.
ReplyDeleteP.S.S. Wouldn't this new phone contraption be a business deduction for your blog? Cuz it ought to be. See what great things come to my mind whilst washing dishes?
ReplyDeleteI love this post! Congrats on your new phone addition :o) Better Kindle bonus on your phone is that it's IN COLOR!!!! I use the Borders e-reader (free) and there are tons of books for free on the Borders website.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the new family member - hopefully Amy is fully aware of all the Maliblahblah's quirks, if not, well you know that you warned her. ;)
i wish i had a pretty new phone, no hope of that here for a LONG TIME!! black friday or not!! congrats to the newly engaged peeps!! holla!
ReplyDeleteAmy's now famous! Holla Amy!
ReplyDelete