The Vegas Trip

I am back from my trip to Las Vegas, and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed as to how to recap it all in a blog post.  I could just sum it all up for you in one sentence . . .

Vegas is wee naughty.

And hot.  It was like 110 degrees!  That's like Africa hot.  I would oft perspire when simply walking to and fro.

Let us begin this story by discussing my mother.

Lest any of you are confused, my mom is the one with the dark hair, of which I am jealous of.

As you may have heard on this blog, my mom can be a goober when it comes to technology.  The night before we left, she decides she needs to get a smart phone.

Why?

Because she can. 

Me:  My parents are going into Verizon tonight to get smart phones.

David:  They're gonna get rolled.

And I am sure they did.  Because my parents walk into these types of stores announcing their ignorance and their willingness to pay.  Not very Dave Ramsey-ish.  Nope.  And yet they have purchased all the Dave Ramsey paraphernalia.  See?  They even got rolled by Dave Ramsey.

Do you know who Dave Ramsey is?  Are you wondering what on earth I am talking about?

You are not alone.

Anyways, so my mom has this smart phone now, of which she knows not how to use.  Let us discuss her first phone call with it, shall we?

Me:  Hello?

Mom (shouting, because apparently smart phones render you deaf): TAYLOR!  HAVE YOU BEEN TRYING TO GET A HOLD OF ME?

Me:  Nope.

Mom:  WE HAVE BEEN AT THE VERIZON STORE FOR HOURS.  YOUR FATHER AND I GOT SMART PHONES.  I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO USE IT.  THE SCREEN JUST GOES BLACK.  I COULD BARELY MAKE THIS PHONE CALL.

Me:  Wow!  You both got them, huh?

Mom:  YES.  YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW MUCH MONEY WE SPENT AFTER ALL THE ACCESSORIES THE GUY SAID WE NEEDED TO GET.

(You see what I mean?  They got rolled)

Mom: THERE IS A CLASS WE CAN TAKE ON HOW TO USE THE SMART PHONE.  BUT IT IS ON SUNDAYS AT 9 AM.   I HAVE CHURCH!  I LOOKED RIGHT AT THE SALESMAN AND SAID, "I SUPPOSE THE CLASS IS ONLY FOR THE UNCHURCHED THEN?  HMMMM?"

Me:  You probably shouldn't say that kind of stuff, Mom. 

So, that's a little background for you on my mom and her phone.  And that really doesn't have much to do with the Vegas recap, although it is humorous that a "churched" woman, such as herself, spent the weekend in naughty Vegas.

Because Vegas is wee naughty.

To clarify, we were not naughty.  But the atmosphere is a bit on the sketchy side.

So, we flew into Vegas and as soon as we stepped outside, we were literally knocked over by the mass amounts of heat.  I was in jeans and a t-shirt, because I lack a brain, and my goodness, that was not a good idea.

So, we spent the afternoon at the pool and then we got all gussied up to go on the strip.  Everyone in the world was vacationing at vegas.  There were throngs of people there.  All the hotels are massive and beautiful and really fun to look at.  Auntie Datenut drove over to meet us there.

Auntie told me I looked so cute with my long hair and my killer eyebrows.  I am not sure how to interpret the eyebrows part, but I will hope she means it in a good way.  Because I hate my eyebrows.  They have a weird curve.  What can you do?  Anyways, Auntie made me feel pretty and youthful, even though I am more mature in years now, and that made me feel pleasant.

We spent our days eating and laughing and walking and laughing and looking at hotels and laughing.
We really wanted to be able to relax by the pool, but the universe was against us.  On Sunday, as soon as we get to the pool, the lifeguards started yelling for everyone to get out of the pool.

Lightning.

So, that made us forlorn.  But the next day was blue skies and sunshine, so we went back to the pool, certain the lightning was not going to kick us out that day.

As we were "yucking" it up in the pool, the lifeguards started shouting for everyone to get out.

Again.

The people were revolting and basically ignoring them, on account of the lightning fiasco the day before.  But then, the lifeguards informed us there was, ahem, poo, in the pool.  That got everyone out in a jiff.

So, everyone had a good laugh and was looking at the poo, which had sunk to the bottom of the pool.

But then the lifegaurds brought out the tape:

and roped off the pool.  The poo just sat there.  I don't know if they were waiting for a hazmat team or what, but I was thinking if they offered me a free stay, I would totally throw on some gloves and pick it up.

Do you know how much poo I have cleaned up in my life?  It ain't no thang.

They closed the pool for 24 hours on account of that little poo.  And as a result of poo and lightning, I do not have bronzed skin, like I was hoping.

Such is life.

It was good to come home though.  I missed my family and I got to come home to a clean house, washed "rig", and my girls had all the laundry caught up!

I am happy to report summer has come to these here parts!  It is gorgeous and warm and sunny.

Therefore, today I am going to the beach with the fab four.

I hope we have a lovely, poop-free, lightning-free swim.

I hope you all had a lovely weekend!

PS-I know you have all been dying to know what book I purchased for my Kindle.  I am chose The Help and I think it is really good so far!