What if we forget our passports?
What if they don't recognize us?
What if we look like suspicious persons?
Do we look like suspicious persons?
What if there is something wrong with the plane?
Was I supposed to get shots?
I didn't.
What if we sleep in and miss our flight?
What if our car breaks down on the way to the airport?
What if I forget something important?
I have to bring my own shampoo.
Otherwise my hair will get too greasy.
Gross.
What if I am the only girl on the beach who is not wearing a bikini?
Fact: I do not, I repeat, I do not need to be revealing my tummy regions.
What if I am the only girl on the beach who has to worry about tummy regions?
What if I get lost?
It looks big:
What if we lose our room key?
What if I eat too much?
How much weight will I gain?
There are like 10 restaurants there.
And I greatly enjoy food.
What if the Lumberjack is always falling asleep?
Who will I talk to?
What if the kids are naughty for my mom and dad?
What if my mom forgets to do head counts while at the grocery store?
What if my mom tries to take all of them to the grocery store?
Will she ever forgive me?
What if our dog runs away?
What if our house floods while we are gone?
Interruption: My sister-in-law, Lisa's, house flooded once while she was on vacation.
She is one of those "thorough" house-cleaning people and was mopping behind her fridge, or something lame like that, the day before she left.
When she pushed the fridge back, she did something to a water line and water started pouring into the kitchen for the ENTIRE WEEK THEY WERE GONE.
What is the lesson to be learned here?
Do not be an overachiever and clean pointless areas like the flooring behind your fridge.
Who cares?
This concludes our interruption.
What if I cry and miss the kids and then my husband gets annoyed at me?
Fact: The Lumberjack does, upon occasion, get annoyed at me.
What?!
I know.
Hard to believe.
What if we run out of things to talk about?
7 days.
7 whole days.
7 whole days without kids.
It's been about 10 years . . .
What more is there to say?
Fact: The Lumberjack is not chatty.
Fact: The Lumberjack's Wife is quite chatty.
Quite.
500 (meaningless) points to anyone who can come up with things we can talk about.
What if I get a sunburn?
What if I don't get tan.
What a waste.
What if it rains the whole time?
What if I forgot something important?
What if I miss my kids?
What if, just what if, I even miss . . .
this Handsome Dude and his glasses.
Speaking of which . . . .
where are his glasses?
I have been looking EVERYWHERE for the past couple of days.
1 million (meaningless) points to anyone who know where his stupid glasses are!!!!!
Happy Thursday!
My sister in law was mopping behind her washing machine and did the same thing. A similar lesson can be learned from her experience.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing on your list I'd worry about is oversleeping...I'd set two or three alarms and get to the airport ridiculously early.
Of course you'll miss your kids. And they will miss you. But you will all love and appreciate each other more after a seven day holiday. And all the rest of your worries can be 'cured' with a comfy lounge chair and a tropical drink served to you in a pineapple while you are relaxing in your (you won't be the only one) one piece bathing suit on the beach.
I'm so jealous. Have lots of fun!
Actually, I think the moral of your little tale about Lisa is remember to check the water line after you clean behind your fridge... at least, that's the moral I will take away from it. Because I really like knowing that the flooring under the fridge and stove is clean....
ReplyDeleteYou two do not look suspicious :-) and that place looks amazing!! who cares if he falls asleep - you should too!! can you imagine being able to take a nap anytime you wanted??!!
ReplyDeleteOh my sounds fun... you will have a blast. Just look at that place.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes get vacation anxiety too.
ReplyDeleteIt will be great fun! You don't need to find anything to chat about-- just soak in the warmth (after applying sunscreen) and enjoy the peace and quiet!!!
How does Little Dude manage to cry in every group photo?
Oh, how I long to feel the warm sun. Enjoy it for me!
And you can think of me 8 minutes a day while you're doing your abs. Yes, while on vacation.
Oh. I am so jealous. and I can relate. I too am chatty married to a non-chatter. Take books. Lots and lots of books.
ReplyDeleteAnd, nobody would be seein' me in a bikini, so surely we're not the only 2 women who refuse to show themselves?
We will try to survive without your day brightening posts. The thing that will get me through is I am looking forward to the stories of the trip!! Take lots of pictures, because we want to hear everything! (except the high five moments of course!)
ReplyDeleteI think you need to look for his glasses behind the fridge.
ReplyDeleteIf you are the only one not wearing a bikini than I can guarantee you that no one will be looking at you.
If Lumberjack starts to doze off, say, "Wow! Look at that bikini!" This works especially well in a restaurant.
Enjoy the food because you're on vacation and it will give you something to do if the Lumberjack won't talk to you.
Have fun!
Oh, dear, "don't borrow trouble", my mother always says. Quite honestly, its when something DOES go wrong that you remember that hilarious story about your vacation. If everything went right, how boring! Embrace the unexpected surprises that will undoubtedly come up and laugh through them together, because you don't have four cranky, tired kids with you! It's just you two and you can do whatever, and make-do however! No big deal!
ReplyDeleteTake fun magazines to look at, take lots of pictures of you and your man, take cute pictures with your toes in the sand and the ocean, and eat all you want! Talk about fun dating memories or something. Anyhew, just relax, because you'll be back to reality before you know it! :)
-You will not forget your passports.
ReplyDelete-They don't know you, so they will probably not recognize you...but you do look like your picture so there is no worry there.
-You look a little suspicious, but don't try not to look suspicious, because that will just make you look even more suspicious.
-You are in Good Hands, even when on a jet plane.
-I cannot help you with the shots question. Sorry.
-If you sleep in and miss your flight, then you will have to thank the Lord for his providence. And take the time to give your kids an extra hug.
-If your car breaks down on the way to the airport, you will probably miss your flight (see above).
-You will not forget something important. If you do, you can buy a new one. Unless it's your passport, but remember...you will not forget your passport.
-Put your shampoo bottle and any other liquid-in-a-bottle inside of a big Ziploc. You will not regret this decision.
-Don't worry about the bikini...what if you are the only girl on the beach who is wearing a bathing suit?
-I am sure that you do not need to worry about your tummy regions. You shred.
-You will not get lost. And if you do...it will be an adventure that we will look forward to. You blog.
-Losing the room key...it does happen. They will give you a new one!
-You are supposed to eat a lot on a vacation.
-You will stop worrying about how much weight you might gain.
-Take the Lumberjack's picture when he falls asleep. You can always use it later.
-Bring a book. Or an ipod. Or...a pad and pencil so you can think up fun blog posts while you get a sweet tan. (So, in essence, you will talk to us.)
-Your mom and dad have handled naughty kids before. They will know what to do.
-Your mom is a smart lady and will not take all of the kids to the store at once.
-Moms always forgive.
-You would rather your dog run away, than something worse happening (i.e. something that involves the dirt in your backyard, or the dump). Your dog will not run away, but will be waiting for you when you return, to happily jump on you.
-You are not cutting any water lines before you leave, so your house will not flood. If a water emergency happens, your parents will be there to notice and take care of it. Unless they are at the grocery store and the dump.
-You will miss your kids. That is okay. Your husband will probably miss them just as much. Maybe he will be the one to cry.
-Why do you two have to talk. There are other things to do. (Like give high fives.)
-If you really need something to talk about you can see a movie and talk about it. You can talk about which restaurant you've enjoyed the most. You can talk about the things he likes to talk about (guns, cutting down trees, sleeping).
-Sunscreen! Use an 8, or a 15.
-Rain...can lead to lots of fun indoors! No kids, remember?
-YOU WILL NOT FORGET SOMETHING IMPORTANT!
-Call your kids. Look at pictures of your kids.
-Are the glasses under the fridge? I know you haven't looked under there.
-You are going to have the best time.
Seven days alone with your Lumberjack. I am thinking you probably won't need to worry about "talking"....if ya get my drift.
ReplyDeleteGlasses? Let's see....have you looked behind the fridge? :-)
If you're making a list of things NOT to do before you go on vacation, as we did at Christmas, you can add to your list -
ReplyDelete*do not run dishwasher on way out door
*make SURE cat is outside, and didn't sneak back inside
Every person that has been in my home for this whole water damage scenario has said, knowingly with a slightly creased brow, "Make SURE you shut your water off next time you go on vacation."
Make my pain all worthwhile and shut your water off. Just for Momma Mindy.
You are going to have a blast... and won't even miss the kiddos until at least your plane takes off...
ReplyDeleteYou will have so much fun!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about how much you eat- you are on vacation!!!!
Your mom will have it all under control!
The only thing you really need not to forget is your passport (which you will not do), everything else can be bought.
You are going to get there and all your fears will melt away. Relax, let go and enjoy it! :)
Have a great time! I am slightly jealous. Ok, really jealous, but happy for you at the same time kinda jealous. Does that make sense? Don't answer. You're on vacation in Cancun, getting a suntan, eating yummy food, you didn't make, sleeping all night long - well, mostly. But that's enough of that. :) Jess
ReplyDeleteI can relate to all your worries as I have been labeled profound anticipatory anxiety. It's even in my chart.But even forgetful me, forgot nothing, had no trouble with my passport and had a ball. Once I got on the road to the airport, I wrapped up all the cares and worries and rolled them up in a ball & threw them out the window. Start singing La Cucaracha and laugh and visualize the beaches, the lights, the pool the rest. Turn off the brain, smile, think warm loving thoughts of the children and enjoy your husband and the time. Savor every moment. They have stores in Cancun if you forgot anything, it can be a mission. They also have an Embassy for Americans, if you need them. So forget it and have fun. Mexico isn't Iran or Congo. They're our neighbors. Bon voyage o un buen viaje. Vaya con Dios, no te preocupes.
ReplyDeleteDid you know that the waters around Cancun have SEVEN different colors of gorgeous turquoise? I've seen them.
ReplyDeleteQuit worrying and have fun for all of us...we are living vicariously through you this week!!
ReplyDeleteMaybe your sister in law snuck into your house and put Handsome Dude's glasses behind your fridge so you'd have to move it to find them and maybe uncork some weird fridge appendage and make your house flood so that she could exact her revenge for making fun of her thorough cleaning habits?
ReplyDeletewhat if you relax and have an amazing time? *lol*
ReplyDeleteWhat if I missed this post? Then I would have been disappointed! It was a good read. I like your site.
ReplyDelete