Yes, hello. Good morning.
I want to thank you all for the horrific bunny stories you left me this weekend. Good times.
I think I need to clear something up with you all: This was not my idea.
It was someone else's.
Darn him. Darn him and his swooning ways. And his crazy rabbit-breeding ideas. And his darn dream house being in Ruralville. And his two stuffed bucks mounted on my peach walls.
Darn.
Anyways. What you must understand, and this may come as a complete shocker to you all, is this: me and my husband are nothing alike.
It's true!
Shall I show you some examples to further make my point?
His idea of target:
My idea of Target:
His idea of a fun Saturday:
My idea of a fun Saturday
Also:
1. Whilst growing up, he was in 4-H. In his lifetime, he has had pigs, cows, chickens, and a horse. And perhaps a lamb, but I cannot be certain. And, I am feeling too lazy to do any fact-checking.
2. Whilst growing up, I had an obese cocker spaniel named Joey who I pretended was going to be my secret husband. Which is completely healthy.
Here is a picture of me and my dog, in the earlier days . . . before either of us got chubby.
Don't be jealous of my hair. I will let you copy me.
That's my ma in the background in her jammies! Hi, Ma!
3. He earned a pig trophy when he was young.
4. I, most certainly, did not.
5. I was on the drill team.
6. He, most certainly, was not.
6. One of his favorite books: "How To Be Your Own Veterinarian."
7. My favorite books: Anything from the highly acclaimed "Babysitters Club" series.
8. My chore list would include things such as, vaccuum, dust, and mop.
9. His chore list? Re-roof the chicken coop, mow the orchard, clean out the pig pen and paint the fence.
10. I pronounce the word, "creek" the right way by actually saying, "creek." He says "crick." And he is certain that he is correct. But never in my life have I seen two "e's" make the short "i" sound. I don't say, "my fit hurt." No. I say, "my feet hurt."
It's a good thing I am the teacher over here.
My point in all of this? I don't remember.
I think I am showing you all how different my husband and I are.
But, who knows?
*Random Topic Quick Change!*
I got a new table! With six chairs! And four matching bar stools!
We got said table the day after our dinner company came. This is my life.
Perhaps some day I will show you a picture.
But not today.
I need to get in the shower.
*Random Topic Quick Change!*
I didn't just pretend clean my house this weekend, dear readers.
Oh, no.
I actually cleaned it. Like good. And it was clean for at least an hour. Which was impressive and, quite possibly, a new record.
*Random Topic Quick Change!*
Is today some sort of holiday? Like President's Day or Teacher Inservice day or I Am Not In The Mood To Homeschool Day?
Don't get your panties in a bunch. I shall do it. But I don't have to like it.
*Random Topic Quick Change!*
I have tried on numerous occasions to understand the game of football. It is beyond me. What is up with the downs and the yards and the penalties and such?
I did enjoy some delicious snacks yesterday. So that was fun.
David was making fun of me, which he likes to do upon occasion and he asked me on the way to church yesterday if I even knew who was in the Superbowl.
Me: Nope.
David: Dork.
Me: Wait! I thought it was weird this week because on Facebook, Bimlissa's baby was dressed up wearing some huge, yellow hat that looked like cheese. That was strange. So, maybe that had to do with the Superbowl. And cheese is from Wisonsin, so . . . my guess is some team from Wisconsin is playing. Oh! And my dad was born in Wisconsin, and he like some team called Green Bay, so I guess Green Bay is in the Superbowl.
David: Yup.
See, folks!? I am not brainless!
That was deductive reasoning at its finest.
Special shout out to the magic of Facebook and Bimlissa with her cheese-wearing baby.
***
It is 7:11am and my kids are all asleep.
I just thought you might like to know.
This is Taylor Maliblahblah signing off to go get in the shower and get myself all purty for a day of homeschooling, laundry, child-rearing, and rabbit monitoring.
Happy Monday!
My house got a thorough cleaning this weekend too. There are many crumbs to be vacuumed today though...no toddlers or small children, just Super Bowl revelers.
ReplyDeleteI think when you homeschool you can declare a holiday if you wish. Perhaps you'll have school on President's Day when others are off. Also, I saw online that it is international networking week...maybe you're supposed to spend all day online?
I never knew much about the game of football either before my hubby. Now, my son shouts out "illegal block to the back!!" before the refs even throw the flag and I let out a big shout and threw my arms in the air on the final play last night that sealed the packers victory!! Crazy, right??! Football is big here in this house but I did learn for the first time yesterday that the green bay packers are named after a packaging company! =) good luck getting school done today - I could use some extra motivation myself.
ReplyDeleteAnd a happy Monday back at you!
ReplyDeleteJust so you know: If I homeschooled, every day would be declared a holiday. That's why I don't do it.
I despise football. I was in 4-H. My chore list resembled your husband's, along with yours. I don't want to have to do daily farm chores again. I didn't want to marry my dog, but she was a she. I like your Target!
ReplyDeleteokay, I know i should be sorry about the bunny comments, but come ON: bunny tragedy is slightly hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a happy monday.
Joey was ADORABLE! I'd totally let him be my fake husband.
ReplyDeleteYou are especially witty today...I thank you.
ReplyDeleteOf course it's a holiday- It is Super bowl Monday, the day in which you hold in reverence the winning team, maybe have a parade or something. And it is also my birthday. We won't get into the details of which one....
ReplyDeleteHappy Monday to you too!
And Happy Monday to you, too!
ReplyDeleteI love football, although my husband really doesn't. If it doesn't involve guns, or in the woods, or a chainsaw or a gun(did I mention that already?), he's not really into it. It is sad that on Sunday's I sit in front of the TV by myself whilst my husband entertains himself doing other things, waiting for my game to be over. So sad. Who am I?? :) Anyhew, you're deductive reasoning was AMAZING! Pat on the back for that one.
I don't see any reason why you can't skip "traditional" classroom stuff and go outside or go for a drive or to go town like you did last week-- and you got a lot accomplished! Remember? Library? Wild animals? It was quite successful, from my point of view. Good luck today...
A man must of invented football because who other than a man would think the idea of running a couple feet and falling down and man pats would be a fun and entertaining thing?
ReplyDelete"targets" made me laugh out loud :) - thanks for the chuckles... Hehe
ReplyDeleteI so wanted a sick day today. It didn't happen. Hope you were able to get homeschooling in. My chores were a lot like yours and Hubby's were a lot like LJ's. Luckily for me, he says he's done enough of that in his life and prefers to live in civilization.
ReplyDeleteFootball is a bunch of immoral thug criminals trying to band into each other. Ridiculous. Anyone I know who ever lived by or spent time at a creek called it a 'crick' so that's not so weird. Your grandfather and g grandfather and their wives called it crick too. Just passin it on. I bet there are thousands of questions you could ask LJ that he would also have no clue how to answer. You could spend the next two weeks thinking up questions he could not answer. It's 82 here today, crystal clear. I can sit in my warmth, and see the snow on Mt. San Gorgonio and Big Bear from my windows. So very lovely. Wish you were here to share it with me. We could visit all the children's museums. I think raising rabbits, pigs cows is very learning and fun for the kids. Not so much horses. I bet MrLJ has ulterior motives about what he could use a hoss fer. Hmmm? Like perhaps clearing his 'ranch' of trees? Yep. What he saves on gas for a machine to do it he could actually feed the horse for one half of a day. Miss you guys. Ask him how much Bimlissa's baby weighed. ha
ReplyDeleteunless you are going to work them or ride them, horses are a waste of money and time! they are expensive to just have around! my daughter has two bunnies...they don't eat as much as horses and they typically smell better, and when they don't you can just throw them in a sink and bathe them!!! =)
ReplyDeletehaha it is crick around here too. Only the highfalutin call it creek.
ReplyDeleteI am exhausted just reading that. Tell the LJ that you get a crick in your back and a creek out your back door. You are so right and he is so wrong, and the wrongness of his thinking is just enormous. But don't read this out loud to him. And if you do, then tell him that I really like that picture of him in his swim suit. That's all.
ReplyDeleteTaylor, it's called a snow day. I think even homeschooled kids deserve one every once in a while.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think LJ would make a wonderful farmer/rancher. Our husbands have too much in common.
I have proof that you are quite simply, the best homeschool teacher ever. My five year old has started running around saying, "Holla!" at every opportunity. Since you are the only person I 'know' who says this. It must mean that you have taught her to read simply through reading your blog. Which definitely makes you the best teacher on the planet!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, I guess she could have learned it from the Disney Channel...
All right Sherlock, very impressive indeed. But why are you awake when your children are still sleeping?!
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up! You passed my test, bettcha didn't know there was a test. I count a truly fantastic writer as someone who can make me laugh out loud. You crack me up everyday!
ReplyDeleteHoly moly you are married to a Lumberjack of All Trades! No wonder he's gonna let your girls have a horse funded by a bunny venture.
ReplyDelete"I Am Not In The Mood To Homeschool Day?"- I'll second the motion.
My inlaws say "crick" as did many people when we lived in Iowa. I say "warsh" instead of "wash" which causes people to ask me on numerous occasions what part of the south I'm from. Not from the south. My dad said "warsh". Last night I heard an Irish accent with the same sound and realized it was leftover from Irish grandparents.
Football makes no sense whatsoever.
There is one thing in this post that stands out: HOW did you keep your house clean for one entire whole hour?!?!? I've never been able to do that and I am very jealous. I think you can only do that if you either (a) ban all children and husbands from the house during and after cleaning, or (b) tie them all up in one room so that they cannot move in any way. Neither of which I would really do.
ReplyDeleteWell, maybe the tie up thing, but I would never ban them. : )
AH I missed monday, it was a crazy busy monday. Yay for Greenbay!! :) And way to go on knowing they were in the superbowl, they won if you didnt know! I agree with you on the way to pronounce words, I have never gotten how creek is said like crick... oh well :) Happy Monday (on Tuesday)!!!!!
ReplyDeleteps.. How are your new table and chairs!?