Stupid Cupid

(Name that music artist)

Alright.  It is about 2pm in the afternoon.  I am sweaty.  I need coffee.  There is pee/poop water all over my bathroom and my entry.  I need coffee.  Mud is on every person's boots.  Playdough is in my carpet.  I need coffee.  I stepped in deer poo and Lucy poo.  I want to take a bath.  I need coffee.  And my deck has been peed off of.

So.  We have to make this update quick.  As you can see, I've had A DAY.

1.  The girls wrote Valentine's letters to some friends and we had to hurry and get them all finished up because our mail comes around 9:30am.

2.  I took Diana's advice and downloaded an Adventures in Odyssey radio program about St. Valentine. I let the kids listen to it while they colored.  It was a hit!  Thanks, Diana!

3. As they were coloring, I made pizza dough.  Not just any pizza dough.  Weight Watchers pizza dough.  Dang!  I am fantastic.

4.  As the dough was rising, or whatever it is that yeast products do, we made playdough.

Yes.  My kids are cute.  I am aware.

Do not be deceived.  Blue is completely festive and appropriate for Valentine's Day.

*sigh*

Handsome Dude.

Handsome Dude was the cause of most of my angst today.  I am currently giving him the silent treatment.  And he is napping.  Which is the best thing that has happened to me all day!

I know.  I am mean.  But don't judge me yet!  Just finish this post and you shall see, you shall see.

Daisy Mae and her Christmas cookies made from blue Valentine's Day playdough.

Me thinks my kids are confused on their holidays, no?

Little Dude. 

He is pretty cute, in my humble opinion.

Please pardon this unneccessary interruption while I speak specifically to Sister Meagan:

Meagan.  I am top dawg.  Don't be jealous of me.

Thank you.

5.  Then we made individual heart shaped pizzas.  May I remind you that I am fantastic?

6.  But, alas.  As I was creating these delightful culinary treats, Daisy Mae, aka The Informer, casually mentioned that Handsome Dude was peeing off of the back deck.

And, yes.  Yes, he was.  And he was missing and actually peeing all over the deck.

I would like to take this time to announce that we have lived here since June and this is the first time our deck has been peed off of.  That I know of.

I think that's pretty good.

7.  So.  I freaked out a bit and made Handsome Dude wash his hands.  He was uber confused, seeing as how he"didn't go to the BAF-ROOM!"  I had to assure him that his hands still needed to be washed.  And then we ate pizza.

8.  It is like 50 degrees outside today!  So we went outside.  My goal was to walk around a bit and get some exercise while the kids played.  But then the kids wandered too far, which scared me a bit.  So I went running through the rolling hills.

This, my friends, is where the deer poo and Lucy poo on the shoes comes into play.

And then, I discovered the kids were actually playing in the driveway.  Which was where they were supposed to be playing after all.

9.  But they all got super muddy.  And all their clothes will make up my fourth load of laundry for the day.

10.  So.  Then we had to go inside for naps.

Let us have a moment of silence for all the gloriousness that is naptime.

*thank you*

11.  Handsome Dude had to go BAFROOM again.  And he used all the toilet paper in the house and now my bathroom looks like this:

Things to Notice:

1.  The toilet paper roll is empty.  I assure you that all of the toilet paper that was on that roll, is now clogging the toilet.

2.  Look at all those towels.  Hello, 5th load of laundry for the day.

3.  The toilet water is flush with the top of the toilet bowl.  This leaves little room for error.

4.  Please notice the plunger.  We just bought that last week.  And have used it three times in one week. 

But, boy howdy!

  How on earth did we last from June until now without a plunger?

That's pretty dang-darn good, if you ask me!

5.  Another thing to point out that isn't really here nor there.  Lately, Handsome Dude has had a few "odd" BAFROOM accidents.  He goes, but when he comes out, his pants are wet in the front and the floor is wet by the door.

Hmmmm . . . .

I done figured it out.  He doesn't know exactly what to do when he has to pee while he is pushing out the poo.

Again.  How has he made it this far in life without figuring that out?  I am trying to gently inform him of what he needs to do with his *ahem* parts so he can have a successful combined bowel/urination elimination.

I fear he is beyond instruction.

6.  And while I am on the topic of Handsome Dude and the BAFROOM, I have one more story for you (lucky you).

We were visiting my parents house and Handsome Dude was struggling with his elimation.  Sister Meagan walked by and asked him if he needed he help.

Handsome Dude, in the spirit of Handsome Dude, yelled, "NO! GO WAY!" and shut the door on her.

So, she went on with her life.

Then she walked by again and heard him yell, "OW!!!"

So, Sister Meagan, opened the door and as soon as he saw her, he said, "I not say OW!  Bye, Meagan!"

What a weird kid.

Let us again be so happy that he is sleeping.

I am slightly off-topic, aren't I?  Let's focus back on today's events shall we?

7.  So.  I got the boys to bed.  My bathroom still looks like this:

My jeans are rolled up to my knees.  On account of the sewage water that spilled out everywhere.  I am sweaty from running around outside.  My house is a mess with playdough everywhere.  And crayons.  And sewage water.

8.  And, if you look outside, you can see LucyFur:

who has gotten into the room formerly known as the school room, pulled out a pink pillow, and is chewing on it.

Which is odd, since my kids aren't allowed to play in the room formerly known as the school room.

And my kids always listen.

***

So.  That's been Valentine's Day.  I am thinking about throwing in the towel and just taking my cup of coffee to the bath.

And I just might.

Happy Monday!

PS-Sorry about the excessive use of the words pee and poo today.  It won't happen again.

PPS-Ok.  It might happen again.  Sorry.