Normally, I would not have the nerve to post the following scenario, out of fear that my parents would read it and ground me.
However.
My parents are in the lovely city of New Orleans at this current moment in time and do not think that the World Wide Web exists in places other than their living room.
So, I'm good.
I think.
If for some reason my blog disappears off the face of the earth, you will know that I was wrong and had to suffer the consequences.
It was nice knowing you.
***
Yesterday, my husband texted me out of the blue at 9am.
If you know my husband at all, just the idea of him texting is hilarious.
(You can read about the first text he ever received here)
David: How are you doing today :}
Yes. He made the wrong sign for the smiley face. But using emoticons is a HUGE step in our relationship.
You can understand why I let it slide.
Taylor: SUPER
This was sarcastic on my part. We had a little spat this week and me saying everything was SUPER really drove my point home.
Don't mind me . . . I'm just holding a grudge.
David: Whatever liar
See? He picked up on my sublteness.
So, I felt bad for being such a poo and decided to text more.
Taylor: I am fine. Trying to get the kids started for school. Boys stole gum from my purse. Again. Handsome Dude peed in his pants and hid them. Handsome Dude took off Little Dude's wet diaper and put underwear on him. Lucy peed all over the laundry room. And pooped. How are you?
LucyFUR.
David: Fine.
David: Is a copier a male or a female?
Taylor: What?
David: Yup.
Taylor: Copier?
David: Female once it is turned off it takes forever to get warmed back up
Taylor: Dang. Bad news for you.
Dear Lord,
Please help my parents to not figure out that the Internet reaches the vast wildernesses of New Orleans.
Thank you.
Are you wondering why I shared that?
So am I.
***
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I miss having a wood stove.
And pigs can now fly.
You may ask: "Taylor! Why on earth would you miss that dreadful beast?"
Because, dear readers.
It was SO warm.
And Ruralville is so cold. And lonely. And peach.
***
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Good News: I think we killed all the mice in the trunk.
***
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I started the 30 Day Shred again.
Alert: I still don't like exericse.
Sad Alert: I still can't make it through the jumping jack segment without running to use the facilities.
***
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People at our home group thought we were a lovely couple well into our 30's.
I AM 29, THANK YOU.
***
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Lest any of you think I am All-That-And-A-Bag-Of-Chips for posting this gem of a picture:
I must come clean and inform you that at my school, there were no "cuts" for cheerleaders.
Come one, come all!
Even if you have really, really, bad bangs.
***
Random Topic Quick Change!
During school, I was helping Daisy Mae with a writing assignment.
Me: Ok. Put your name here.
DM (short for Daisy Mae . . . keep up, people!): Ok.
Me: Date here
DM: OCTOBRE 72, 2010
Me: Good.
DM: Do I need to put my city?
Me: Nope.
DM: Phone number?
Me: Nope.
DM: Weird.
Me: Yup.
DM: I know why! Because if the bad guys ever found my writing paper they could come find me and kill us! And that would not be good.
Me: Ok. Let's just get started.
**
Poor girl. I think my safety paranoias are rubbing off on her.
Well.
I gotta get myself into the shower and into some actual clothes.
Company is coming!
Better don my pearls.
Happy Thursday!
PS-I don't have pearls.
He used his one text per month on that joke? Oh Lumberjack. Still, I'm glad to hear that other people have spats. I was hoping it wasn't just us.
ReplyDeleteI love the text. Very cute. I too am relieved that even you have spats!
ReplyDeleteI was never a cheerleader, but I totally had those bangs. What's worse is the year of the perm....
ReplyDeleteCompany is coming to Ruralville?
ReplyDeleteCool.
So have you stocked up on candy for all of those trick or treaters that are sure to come your way?
I love the text. Even if it is the silliest joke ever.
ReplyDeleteMy parents have a wood stove.
I do not.
Boo.
I go to their house often to get warmed up.
Wood stove heat is the best.
I can see why you miss it.
I bet LJ would do backflips if you asked him to put one in the Ruralville house.
My poor husband... he's been forced to learn to text by virtue of having a deaf wife. And trust me, he's just as ornery via text as he is in the blog comments :)
ReplyDeleteLove that LJ added some humor into it. Now quick... post 15 more posts so that your parents won't dig that far back when they get home! Well, that's what I do anyway *ahem*...
Love the text. If he's anything like mine, that's his way of saying sorry without actually having to come out and say it. I'm mean...I usually make him say it anyway.
ReplyDeleteWe all had those bangs and we were cool like that. I never thought that looking back some day I would think they were awful!
I agree with Rachel, just post a lot more before they come back home and they'll never read that far back.
That's pretty long for a text msg! Maybe you could get a wood stove in the schoolhouse? You have tons of wood. Take care.
ReplyDeleteWow. The nineties called. They want their joke back from the Lumberjack.
ReplyDeleteI jest! It was cute. Cuter, still that he had to share with you. Sorry about your day before the text though. You must have the patience of a saint!
Your mention of motherhood paranoia reminds me of a friend of mine. When our kids were little I had her daughter in the car with me as we went thru the drive in at the bank. The teller gave us suckers and when I handed this little girl hers she said, 'Aren't you going to taste it first?" And when I asked why she replied, "My mom always tastes them first. In case they've been tampered with."
ReplyDeleteLJ is flirting via text. He and my hubs DO have a lot in common.
Congrats on your successful extermination : ) Sorry things are still so 'peachy' in ruralville.
It's OK, I can't get through Jillian's evil jumping jacks without using the facilities either.
ReplyDeleteYeah, my husband is text-impaired, too. He's so funny. When he finally gets through a text, he signs his name at the end! Just sayin.
ReplyDeleteOh, someone mentioned trick or treating...are your kids just going to ring your door bell a bunch of times....how will you handles that? :)
ReplyDeleteOh, I so thought he was going to hit on you and then invite you to a little rendevouz. But his "lame" joke? You don't really need to worry about that. I bet your parents read that and don't catch on at all.
ReplyDeleteThat's just my guess.
Super
ReplyDeleteGreat
Good
Fine
LIAR!
All of those answers, I am convinced are lies. Let's be honest. When people ask, "How are you?" and you answer with any of the above, chances are you are a liar-liar-pants-on-fire...especially if you have 4 kids, live in no-where-land, and homeschool.
Here are my substitute answers:
Crazy as usual (my #1 response on the phone and in public)
All my cells are respiring (means I am alive...but that is it)
Functioning within established parameters (feelin' a little quirky, but like above answer)
And finally, when I am completely peeved by that question: How do I look?
It's good that DM has picked up on what I'm sure are subtle safety paranoias.
ReplyDeleteI too am 29 - have been for a number of years :)
But really I am! I was born in 81! :)
ReplyDeleteLaughed at the silly text. Think I'll re-tell to my farmer tonight. He only texts one thing and it is always the same... how u doin' ....sends it every day! Ha!
ReplyDeleteI have a wood boiler . No Smoke-outside is the fire, inside warm as toast... jealous much?!
Love the cheerleading pic! Makes me happy you are willing to humiliate yourself for my entertainment! TY!
I love your cheerleading pictures. My mother made sure my bangs looked like that for the first ten years of my life. :)
ReplyDeleteMarla @ www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com
Ha ha ha!! That's sooo funny that she thinks you're faking it! :) Wait, do you still love me Taylor?? Hello?
ReplyDeleteAh yes, the special marital spat. None of us are immune. But I WAS beginning to think you two were perfect, so...not that I'm glad you're like the rest of us, but I'm glad you're like the rest of us. Ya know? Alrightey then. Moving on.
ReplyDeleteYou have company coming? Wowsers! What a special day-and not even the weekend! My stars, this must be an exciting week for you. :)
But those bangs were all the rage!
ReplyDeleteAt least that's what I tell myself.