What I am about to tell you is real.
And happened just last Saturday.
And makes me ponder things . . . and life . . . in general.
***
LJ (short for Lumberjack . . . keep up, people!): Hey. I'm going to go clean up the garage for a bit.
Me: Ok. Sounds good.
So, he goes outside to do what I would assume to be something like: move around power tools, ropes, trashcans, gas cans, tarps, the 4 wheeler, air compressors, and other garage-ly things.
And I, being the fantastic homemaker that I am, decided to roam around the house doing house-ly things.
You know.
Like fold laundry, do dishes, and have a spirited conversation with myself about how the kids say their rooms are clean, when clearly, they are not clean.
As I was loading the washing machine once again, I glanced out the window and saw this:
Why, yes!
I'm glad you asked!
That is my husband.
And, yes!
He has strapped on his Lumberjackish shoes and safety-belt and climbed up the tree in our very own driveway.
Chainsaw and all.
For to trim the dead branches.
It is moments like this, dear readers, that I become perplexed at my husband.
Perplexed.
So, he was out there "tidying up the garage" for a few hours and had two burn piles going.
Why?
Because he moved out to the middle of nowhere and he can.
He came inside and ate some of my delicious, super-scrumptious ELK TACOS.
No, you silly gooses!
I most certainly did not taste the ELK TACO meat.
What do you think I am?
Crazy?
After his delicious ELK TACO, he decided that a little hunting would tickle his fancy.
So he got all camo-flauged-out and went out in the backyard.
You can see why he loves the new house . . . no?
So, while he was gone, my dad stopped by.
Hold the phone! A visitor? In Ruralville?
It was quite the day, I tell you.
Dad: Where's Dave?
Me: Hunting.
Dad: But his truck is here?
Me: Oh yeah. He's just back there in his tree stand.
Dad: Huh?
Me: Want me to get him? If I yell off the back deck he can hear me.
Dad: Tree stand?
Me: Well, I might get in trouble for spooking the deer.
Dad: Well, what's he got burning?
Me: Dead tree branches.
Dad: Why does he have two burn piles going?
Me: Because he can.
***
Let's revisit this story in a short and bulleted format shall we?
* I talk to myself sometimes.
* My husband has Lumberjackish shoes and some sort of rope that suspends him up in a tree
* We now have burn piles
* Cooking elk meat made my stomach hurt
* I never did get all my laundry done
* My husband hunts in his own backyard
* Only a few months ago, I lived mere blocks from art galleries, coffee shops, restaurants, and a lake.
***
Moving on.
Daisy Mae was quite perturbed with me after finding a photograph of herself lying facedown in the storage room.
So, she has rescued it and proudly displays it wherever she goes.
***
And, finally, I would like to show you something that I call:
A Bummer.
And guess what!
We have a super strict rule that absolutely NO sippy cups may ever leave the kitchen!
We're running a tight ship over here.
Happy Tuesday!
PS-Thank you to all of you who visited me at my guest post yesterday! I appreciated it!
Holla! Happy Tuesday to you too. ;)
ReplyDeleteI can only say that I hope MY husband doesn't see this post. He cuts trees, but doesn't have the shoes or the rope thingy to climb so high. That would be my nightmare. We have burnpiles! We have a deer stand on the property next to us. We never have company just drop by. If so, it is usually someone that is lost. People only come to our house if we know they are coming...too long of a drive to just "see if they're home"!
ReplyDeleteSome days, I don't mind not having one of those tree-climbing, hunting husband people at my house. Phrases like "elk meat" make me want to do a praise dance for my lack of a husband, in fact.
ReplyDeleteWow! I have watched my husband climb our trees like that holding a chain saw too. Somehow this doesn't seem like a good plan to me..
ReplyDeleteWay to run a tight ship Mrs. LJ - ahoy!
I am laughing so hard right now because you said "tickles his fancy". You are soo funny!
ReplyDeleteWe don't have our own big trees for my husband to climb and take a chainsaw to - he has, however, taken a chainsaw to our neighbors trees that droop into our backyard. That is my husband. haha..
ReplyDeleteElk tacos? Hmm... Do they taste like barbacoa?
My husband worked one summer for a lumberjack company in Minnesota. Their official title over there is "Brush Ape" in case you care. We lived that whole country living with the hunting, camping, garbage burning, gardening, tree cutting, truck, four-wheeler and snowmobile owning. Then the Lord moved us to the big city. It was a shocker. Now we are dress shoe, sushi eating city slickers and someone actually comes each week to haul our garbage away. But, he kept his chainsaw and axe. It freaks our city slicker neighbors out when we use them to split our own firewood. Especially when we let the kids use them. Yes. We. Do.
ReplyDeleteMy hubs is totally jealous of your hubs. Well, he would be if he read your blog and saw your pictures. Except the one with the milk on the couch. That would put him over the top. It reminds me of the time I made corn chowder for dinner and later that evening daughter1 decided it did not agree with her and all over the couch it went. It has been 18 years and I can still recall the aroma. Milk on fabric lingers. I think that's when we got our new couch. And also why I have not made corn chowder since. I know my sharing this story with you has made your day.
ReplyDeleteI will say a little prayer, wait.... several little prayers that LJ doesn't fall out of the tree, or set the woods on fire, or accidentally shoot himself or others or have any accident at all, or that the children will meet no aggressive animals like cougars or bears or angry elk or deer. And kids, no sippy cups on the bed.
ReplyDeleteMy dad offered to give me some Elk meat. Now I'm afraid to try it.
ReplyDeleteDear Lord, I almost fainted at the sight of the LJ way up high in that tree. For the love of all things holy, take out more insurance on that man. He is more dangerous than my brave Soldier man that fights in wars.
ReplyDeleteOh dear me you make me laugh! If my father could, he would be joining dear LJ climbing trees. As it is, he's crawling through attics, pulling gross looking unidentifiable things out of sewer pipes, and build OTHER families new kitchens.
ReplyDeleteBut he used to be a fire fighter in Oregon and I believe he still dreams about it at night.
We don't keep a fire extinguisher in the house, so if a fire ever does come, my father may use his wonderful gift of fire fighting. In the house. I hope this day never comes.
So did he actually clean out the garage or get sidetracked when he picked up the the chainsaw to move it/clean around it/rearrange the lumberjack pile of tools?
ReplyDeleteDid you really have elk tacos? I want to try elk tacos!! Especially if they are spicy.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love that picture of Daisy Mae and do not blame her for carrying it around with her everywhere.
We really did, but I did not taste the meat.
ReplyDeleteHe did a little cleaning but then got distracted by the dead branches :)
ReplyDeleteB-U-T-T-E-R-M-I-L-K...and your elk tacos should suit your tummy. Have you tried that yet? Silly girl, what did you eat for dinner? Lettuce tacos? Cheese tacos? Salsa tacos? I guess if all else fails, you can break out a can of re-fried beans and have bean and cheese tacos. Do they have refried beans out there in Ruralville? ;) They are a condiment down here in Tex-ico, I mean Texas. People even eat them for breakfast...now THAT turns my tummy.
ReplyDeleteUmmmm......does LJ have Aflac? That's what I think of when I see him up there so high. Insurance. Yeah. You should maybe get some. :)
ReplyDeleteI did go visit the guest post yesterday but I forgot to leave a comment.
ReplyDeleteSo, I'm leaving extra love today.
Lovesies.
You must have a strong heart. If I looked out my window and saw the sweet husband up in a tree like that I would have a heart attack.
Phew!
Did you try taco meat? I think if you season it up, it might not be too bad. What about spaghetti and stuff. If you add enough stuff to it...maybe it will just taste like beef.
Maybe?!!??
Funny, we have that exact same super strict rule around here. And yet...
ReplyDeleteYou really should try and get over your elk aversion. I absolutely detest venison, but elk does not bother me at all. And it's so lean, you could break your doctor-imposed ban on red meat. Just try it once! Be a good role model for your children. :)
You are the best wife EVER. You should get a crown or something. And just so you know - if earning a crown requires elk tacos and a deer stand in my back yard, I'll happily let you have it.
ReplyDeleteI swear sippy cups have power all their own. My grandkids do not carry them around yet, there always seems to be a leaking one on the floor!! It's magic I tell ya!
ReplyDeleteThe sippy cup...it is a bummer. I don't put anything but water in ours. It's a rule. And it's hard and fast. The only thing around here that is, I guess.
ReplyDeleteThat is a strange comment.
It should come as no surprise that The Lumberjack's Wife has a husband who is up a tree cutting it to pieces. After all, LUMBERJACK.
:)
I'm praying for your brother and sister in law. I've had 3 little angels leave me way too soon and I know how they must be feeling. I recent had someone share some words of wisdom with me that brought me some hope. Here it is:
ReplyDeleteAll prayers are said that the little one comes through these trials, and will grow to be a beautiful and healthy woman. If that's not God's plan, however, when the time is right, let your sister in law know that her little one is waiting in Heaven, healthy and happy and waiting for her mom to come home.
It helps to know that just because we've lost that wonderful gift, it's not gone forever. They're just waiting with our Father to welcome us home.
For your sister in law-It sounds trite, but where there's life there's hope. And that little unborn baby feels love so she is already blessed. Children with parents that truly love them and want them no matter what are very fortunate.
ReplyDelete---------------------------
Dang! I had a pine tree which could have used your husband. Someone in the neighborhood actually yelled out their truck window at me that I had the ugliest tree in the neighborhood. It was half alive and I couldn't stand to cut it down. Finally had to this fall. There was a sudden increase in joggers, dog walkers, strollers and traffic. People actually stopped and watched. Lumber jacking is very exciting in suburbia.
Yuckos....
ReplyDeleteSo when you wrote, "Daisy Mae was quite perturbed with me after finding a photograph of herself lying facedown in the storage room." I actually thought the photograph was of her lying facedown in your storage room... Maybe I am too literal.
ReplyDelete