Because I started a diet.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Or am I just really addicted to food?

It is Day 5 of my diet plan . . . yeah . . . don't think I am going to make it.

Whenever I decide to eat healthy, all I can think about are the foods that I cannot eat.

For example:

Big Macs from McDonald's.

Yes, I can admit it. 

I LOVE them.

It must be that special sauce.

Mmmm . . .it truly is special.

I love Big Macs even more when they come with french fries and a large soda.

Diet soda, of course.

We don't want to eat too many calories, now.

Besides, you should never drink your calories.

Except when drinking coffee.

Then it is okay to drink:

this.

And

Egg Nog Lattes.

In those two cases, it is completely understandable and acceptable to drink calories.

I have also been thinking a lot about pasta.

For example, Fettucine Alfredo.

Pioneer Woman posted this recipe.

And, I long to make it.

Because I need more butter in my life.

But, no.

I have two mean friends who are MAKING me follow this diet.

And they would not allow it.

I also really want one of these:

And maybe some of  this:

Delicious in my belly.

And I also would not mind some of this:

Tell me "why, oh why, can't I"?

(Name that movie song)

And there is one more thing that I really want to eat.

Cheese.

Cheddar makes everything better.

But, I must forge on.

I must put all these delicious tasty food items out of my mind, and instead focus on

Mmmmmmm . . . right?

Hey!

You know what makes broccoli taste really yummy?

Cheese!

Cheddar Cheese!

*Sigh*

Day 5.

Only Day 5.

Raise your hand if you're pretty sure I won't succeed.

It's okay.

Tell the truth.

Because it is Day 5.

It is Day 5 of NaBloPoMo.

NaBlo-what?

Exactly.

And so, it is time for two product reviews.

Because I got nothing else to say.

First up:

Method (from Target) Squirt and Mop Hardwood floor cleaner:

Pros:

1)  It is easy.  You squirt and then you mop.  Hence the name.

2)  It did a good job cleaning up the floors.

3)  It has the most heavenly almond scent.  Seriously.  The scent was truly delightful and made mopping all the more enjoyable.

Cons:

1)  It did not remove scratches in the wood floors caused by truck-racing.

2)  It did not magically mop the floors all by itself.

3)  The floors are already dirty again. 

Can't somebody please invent a cleaning product that freezes your home clean for at least a week?

Because I am beginning to feel like everything I do around here is pointless.

But for the almond scent alone, I will forever and ever love this hardwood floor cleaner.

Does anyone else have wood floors?

Does anyone else have a love/hate relationship with them?

I have been definitely more on the hating end these days.

They show EVERYTHING.

Not that my house ever has anything like dirt, dog hair, dust, leaves, matchbox cars, bark, wood, ashes, cheerios, toast, pine needles, or four children in it.

My house is pretty spotless.

Secondly:

Is not Oasis the greatest British band since the Beatles?

Can we not vote on that?

Name the actor who said that!

Ha!

It's a tricky one!

Also,is not Coffeemate chocolate raspberry creamer the best tasting coffee creamer in the entire universe?

I dare you to try and find a better tasting one.

In fact, I double dog dare you.

Pros:

1)  Nothing tastes better in coffee.  Nothing.

2)  It makes the world a better place. 

Cons:

1)  It is expensive when you need to buy a couple of these a week.

2)  I am pretty sure it is bad for you.  But I don't really want to know either way.

3)  It is sabotaging my weight loss efforts.

Yes, I started a diet this week.

And since I have started this diet, all I can think about is pasta, cheese, pizza, cheeseburgers, french fries, and Blizzards from Dairy Queen.

And cheese.

I really want a huge hunk of cheddar cheese.

It is truly a travesty.

But, I need help.

I need a healthier, lower fat way to flavor my coffee.

And don't tell me to drink it black.

I will not listen to you OR your foolish nonsense.

So, please.

Please.

Help my muffin top disappear and tell me how I should flavor my coffee.

Dinner . . . *sigh*

Little Dude after dinner

*sigh*

Why me?

*sigh*

Thank goodness I have Sweet Pea here to help me . . .

*sigh*
Why, pray tell, is Sweet Pea wearing socks and shoes with her bathrobe?

*sigh*

I am going to say I am disgusted with Mabel.

But really, I am truly grateful to her for the help.

*sigh*

Ok, that is just gross.

And wrong.

I promise dinner tasted good.

And it looked pretty good at the beginning of the meal.

But now . . .

*sigh*

My last baby.

He is growing up too fast.

My precious, little dude.

He said "milk" for the first time today.

Oh, goodness, he melts my heart.

 And he has rice in his hair.

What happened to my baby?

*double sigh*

The Lumberjack gets a . . . Blackberry?

Well, the world has officially gone mad.

I have been sensing something big like this was going to happen.

Let's look at the facts:

First:  Lisa watched my boys and said that Little Dude was naughty and Handsome Dude was delightful and helpful.

Second:  The Lumberjack has been spoiling me like crazy.  I am not sure if he has just fallen more deeply in love with me or if he is trying to butter me up for more hunting time. 
Hmmm . . . I will go with the latter statement.

Third:  The powers that be took away the Lumberjack's sturdy, durable, walkie-talkie, hard-core, manly-man work phone and swapped it out with a Blackberry.

Excuse me, you powers-that-be?

Was that a good idea?

Does he really seem like the Blackberry type?

Oh, this is bad.

Were Blackberries meant to be stored in the pockets of Carhartts while climbing up and down ladders, crawling through attics, and occasionally, falling trees?

But I have not told you all yet the BEST part.

The "powers that be" have begun TEXTING the Lumberjack his jobs.

Oh, this is a treat.

If only I had a video for the moment last night when the Lumberjack pulled his hip, new phone out of his pocket, stared at it like it was communicating to him in a foreign language, and shouted,

"Am I getting a TEXT?"

And, yes.

Yes, he was.

And it was a work assignment for the next morning.

He stared at it.

I asked him if he needed my help replying.

He continued to stare.

You see, the Lumberjack had a course-altering decision to make at that point in time.

Does he text back,  allowing the powers-that-be to think that he is okay with texting?

Because texting, my gentle readers, is against everything my Lumberjack believes in.

It truly makes his blood boil.

But if he does not text back, will the powers-that-be think he does not have his work assignment?

After much thought, the Lumberjack found a solution he could live with.

He told me to text the following:

"I am having my wife text you because I do not text.  Yes, I will do the work that you ask."

Then, he frantically grabbed the phone from me and shouted,

"Now, delete them!  Delete the messages!  I don't want them on my phone."

I was more than a little taken aback at his state of panic.

My text message inbox currently has, um, 72 messages in it.

Not ones that I have not read, of course.

Just old messages.

What do I care?

The phone will tell me when I need to delete them.

Some people truly, truly HATE texting.

I do not understand this hatred.

Sure, it is annoying to text deep and intimate conversations.

But, it is easy to text a quick,

"I am running 10 minutes late."

And avoid a 5 minute phone call.

Oh, well.

We can just add this to the list of things I do not understand about my husband.

Oh, to be young again . . .

During summer, I love watching the freedom my little girls have.

No worrying, "I wonder what my hair looks like right now?"

No asking, "Should I be eating this chip?"

Not saying, "I hope my butt doesn't look too big right now."

Oh, to be not one bit shy in a swimsuit. To not even be concerned that the top is falling down.

And to pose for a picture while wearing a swimsuit!

Should I break it to them that these days might not last forever? Should I tell them that wearing a swimsuit will one day become something to fear? That removing a wet swimsuit will be something to dread? Should I inform them that one day, a day far off in their future, the worst moment will be when they take those first steps out into the world wearing that swimsuit, worrying about just what is wiggling and jiggling as they walk along the water?

Nah. Why ruin it for them?

 

A Public Service Announcement

1)  An update from the last public service announcement:  the fishing lure has been removed from the roof of the car.  It has been relocated to the compartment on the driver's side door.  Because you never know when you just might need a fishing lure.

2)  I am starting a diet with friends on Tuesday to lose weight for my trip with Sir Lumberjack in February.  This means I will be eating all the junk I can until Tuesday.  And the Lumberjack and I will be going to a dinner and a movie tomorrow night so I can be ready for the diet kick off the following morning.   And then on Tuesday, I will forever be good.  Forever and ever, scouts honor.

Raise your hand if you do not believe that statement one bit.

3)  My lovely friend, Melissa, has challenged us to post every day in November.  So, I will be posting each and every day this month.  I hope you don't get sick of me.  That would be a cryin' shame.

4)  Due to privacy issues, I am trying to refrain from using our names in posts. 

The cast of characters in this blog from hereto henceforth shall be known as:

Sweet Pea, our oldest girl, age 6

Daisy Mae, our second girl, age 5

Handsome Dude, our 2 year old

Little Dude, our one year old.

Oh, don't you just want to squeeze that one?

My husband will be known as The Lumberjack, LJ, my husband, my manly man, and that guy who rocks my world.

I will be known as me, myself, and I, and occasionally mudder. 

Mabel will be still be Mabel.

Because, really.

Who wants to steal her?

P.S.:  These names subject to change, as I am easily bored.

5)  Due to aforementioned name changes, I have removed many of my old posts.  I am planning on working on updating them to remove names and such.  If I come across an old post that I want to share with you from back in the days when just Melissa read my blog, I might repost it.  So be prepared for some posts from July.

6)  Please try and refrain from saying the children's names in your comments.  Or you may find your comments deleted.  Consider yourselves warned.

7)  If you don't leave comments, shame on you.  I have to post every day.  The least you could do is leave a comment.  Yes, I am talking to you, Alisa.

Candy, Candy, Candy, Candy . . .

 

Wait for it . . .

 Wait for it . . .

And . . .

They're done.

And I am glad it is all over.

Am I a Halloween grinch?

Maybe.

I just don't care.

Although I do think my kids look pretty darn cute.  Sweet pea is "Mary" from Little House on the Prairie, Daisy Mae is a cheerleader, Handsome dude is a cow, and Little dude is a pumpkin.

I bought that pumpkin costume for Sweet pea's first Halloween back in 2003.

All 4 of my offspring have donned it.

But, now we will no longer need it, as no one will fit into it anymore.

We joined my parents for dinner.

My cousin, Greg, not to be confused with my Uncle Greg, also joined us for dinner.

This is cousin Greg's first appearance in the blog.

Everyone say,

"Hi, Greg!"

My parents were slightly down in the dumps because they discovered that someone had stolen their camp trailer.

Who steals a camp trailer?

Hoodlums.

Luckily for us, they were still able to whip up a delicious meal!

My mom makes this mexican meat, and it is quite delicious I tell you.

I just might share the recipe someday.

Off to find candy at a few of the houses in my parent's neighborhood.

Sir Chubby Pumpkin took a tumble.

My handsome dude thought this was the best night ever.

He went running from house to house, screaming,

"More candy!  This way!  Yay!"

Screaming.

And cheering.

And screaming.

We then returned to my parent's house where little dude entertained us with his dance moves.

My mother  put on his favorite Christmas song, "Happiest Christmas Tree."

Because nothing says, "Halloween" like a Christmas song!

My dad was trying to navigate his way around ITunes while we were there.

At times I wonder if my dad is "hip" enough to know about things such as laptops and ITunes.

Sugar!

Fun!Candy!
Candy Wrappers!

Look!

There he is again!

Hi, Greg!

So, it's over. 

Darn.

But now we have about 47 pounds of candy in our house, which is great.

Mr. Lumberjack did not do as I expected and remove all of the good candy.

He fell asleep.

Because he had gotten up at 0400 to go hunting.

So, he was disinterested in the candy.

Now the fab four have a huge, unlimited supply of candy at their fingertips.

And from now on, I will just have to plan on sending my manly man out hunting every Halloween morn.

Because this:

This is a much better way to go.

4 kids + endless amounts of  sugar.

I really don't like Halloween.