Last night, when The Lumberjack came home from work, he brought home what most dads bring their children on Tuesday evenings:
Elk Antlers.
Yes.
You heard me.
What do you mean your husband doesn't regularly bring home portions of large animals' bodies?
Hmmm . . . .
You may ask,
"Taylor. Why is your son pantless?"
Well, dear readers, my son is not wearing pants because 2 droplets, yes, droplets, of water got on his jeans and he immediately proclaimed them to be unclean, thus refusing to wear them until they were laundered.
Handsome Dude can be . . .
particular.
Interruption: Please pray for the speedy delivery of Handsome Dude's new glasses.
Mayday! Mayday!
His eyes won't remain straight much longer.
So, my husband came home from work, handed Handsome Dude some antlers, and hopped into the shower . . .
leaving me with a pantless, curious, talkative 3-year old who was armed with elk antlers.
Allow me to share with you what Handsome Dude said over and over and over and over during The Lumberjack's nice, calm, relaxing, quiet shower . . .
"Mom! Da elk broken!"
"Mama, we bix it!"
"Mama, I go bye-bye in Daddy's big truck to fix elk, k?"
"Bye, Mom! Love you, Mom!"
"I go bye-bye in Daddy's BIG truck! Daddy says ok."
"Oh, no! Elk broken! I bix it. K?"
Lest any of you are confused: Bix=Fix.
Interruption: You may have noticed that my floors are slightly filthy. And, yes. It is true. But I see no point in cleaning them when LJ is just going to soil them immediately when he comes home and works on the laundry room.
You may call that lazy.
I call that smart.
"Ok, Mom! I go bye-bye now! K?"
"I get pants on, K?"
"Bye, Mom!"
"Bye, girls! I go bye-bye in dad's truck. Bix da elk. Bye!"
"Oh, no! Da elk has owie! See? I bix it now, k? Bye!"
***
Spoiler alert: Handsome Dude remained pantless and had to stay home and eat all of his dinner, instead of bixing any elk.
Happy Wednesday!
Bix it! Too cute. I too agree that not cleaning the floors when they are sure to be soiled again right away is smart!
ReplyDeleteBless his sweet heart, wanting to fix the elk. Owee indeed. :) Thanks so much for your sweet comment this week, it made my day!
ReplyDeleteOh, and, yeah, I feel your pain on the floor thing. My floors are filthy in EVERY picture I put on my blog. We should start a club. Let's call it the "I have better things to do with my time than sweep dust bunnies" club. :)
I think it is wonderful that you have a child who cares so much to want to bix the elk!
ReplyDeleteI have a stripper at home - not because her clothing gets dirty but just because she dislikes clothing so much.
I had really hoped she would choose her profession later in life but it does seem my youngest monkey at age 2 has decided what she wants to do!
I would really prefer she wanted to bix the elk!
I have things he can come bix at my house. :)
ReplyDeletehe is all boy!
ReplyDeleteI had pantless AND underwareless little man last night. Yeah. I'm a bad mom like that.
ReplyDeleteAww, he didn't get to bix the elk? Poor guy ;) Too cute!
ReplyDeleteI love kids! How cute! I have one who is VERY particular and throws clothes in the wash for drops of water. He also likes to remind us to wash our hands... all the time...
ReplyDeleteYou are hilarious- you should write a book, seriously!
ReplyDeleteHey, I TOTALLY understand the significance of the awesome gift of an elk "shed" - I could wrap those up for Christmas and give to my son and grandson both and they would be thrilled!! You score huge points for that one Lumberjack!
ReplyDeletehow stinking cute is that...bix the elk!! children are really such a blessing!! :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband would love to come hang out with all your boys one day. There is just too much estrogen in his own house some days.
ReplyDeletei think he would fit in perfectly in my house. i did not notice dirty floors but thank you because i am trying better about blogging everyday pictures even if there is dirty laundry in the background
ReplyDeleteI definitely wouldn't clean the floors until after the project. You're right. It's just smart! Your son is too cute.
ReplyDelete-FringeGirl
Too cute.
ReplyDeleteAnd I could totally see my farmer bringing something like that home.
Marla @ www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com
Cute blog! Have you tried www.zennioptical.com for your son's glasses? They are only $8/pair (some are as much as $20)...frames and lenses (they make them in China I think)...I order my son's from there and order 3-4 pairs at a time, that way if we lose one or break one I always have a spare laying around. They also sell you replacement frames for half price.
ReplyDeleteAhh...so our little men both can appreciate the freedom of underpants. And, yes. My husband also brings home all kinds of animal antlery. He thrusts it at the kids gallantly and I immediately ask, "Did you sterilize that?" Yep. We're a match made in heaven. :)
ReplyDeleteMindy
www.thesuburbanlife.com
Love this! "We bix it!"
ReplyDeletePlease keep the pantless photos handy.
ReplyDeleteYou'll be able to submit them for some important slideshow when he's a teenager.
And yes, I did this.
Two months ago.
To my poor son.
He gets Superman comments now at school.
It's a high school.
It wasn't even his video.
Nuff said.
Is anyone else concerned about the fact that the child has no eyeglasses and very sharp pointy animal parts? If he fell.....
ReplyDeleteY'know when you move to the country your kids can run around in their skivvies all the time. That's the beauty of country life....Of course, my parents wouldn't let me do it, but in theory it totally could've happened!
ReplyDeleteHe's too cute! Good for you to remember these sweet conversations. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid that I'd have to leave the antlers outside, though, along with all sticks, leaves, bugs, and whatever else belongs outside!!
That is just precious! Bill brought a baby turtle home in his pocket yesterday.
ReplyDeleteLOL he is an awesome kid :) so funny
ReplyDeleteI always bix my elk without pants.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with you?
Doesn't everyone's Daddy bring them home animal parts?????
ReplyDeleteOh wait, NO!! But it fits your house and your LJ? I mean that as a compliment:)
And as for Handsome Dude - too cute! Who needs pants anyway? And it could be worse than him wanting to "bix it." A few months back my Little Guy took to carrying a stick (really a dowel) around the house. He couldn't say stick correctly and for some reason instead of an "ST," he made a "D" sound in the beginning. He kept telling EVERYONE that he had a big "*****." It was most embarrassing. The problem was that I couldn't even hide his stick because then he would just tell everyone that he lost his "stick."
I have the same problem with my wood floors! Especially this time of year with all the dirt and mud being tracked in!
ReplyDeleteMy dad used to get me weird gifts too. When I was 13, he gave me a bow and arrow. I never indicated any interest in this sport, but it was a memorable gift. Your son will always remember these elk antlers!
I love it when you quote the conversations in the kids words. Too too precious. Better save up to get him a truck for his graduation so he can go bix elks.
ReplyDeleteHDs lovely grandmother loved to be in the buff when she was his age & was always 'streaking' all over the place.
ReplyDeleteI love Handsome Dude. I have a rooster he can bix.
ReplyDelete