(To catch up, click here)
This post is dedicated to my sister Meagan, who is missing all of us as she is having a wonderful time in places such as Austria, Vienna, Germany and Prague.
Everyone say, "Hi, Meagan!"
Thank you.
***
Alright.
So, we cleaned up all the bodily fluids and my brother and sister-in-law permitted us to stay.
On the condition, of course, that no more disgusting substances came out of our children.
And the first item on the agenda was an Easter Egg Hunt!
Looking for eggs . . .
Handsome Dude hunted for trucks.
Little Dude seized the moment and decided to play trucks all by himself.
"Wait! Am I missing something down there ?"
Go, Sweet Pea, go!
Is it snowing?
In April?
Yes.
It is snowing in April.
Bummer.
Present time!
Here's Tonya attemping to open presents amidst my kids.
They are like vultures.
"Present-Vultures," if you will.
Me: Tonya! How old are you today?
Tonya: 27
Me: No way!
Tonya: Yup.
Me: Seriously?!?!?
Fact: I have known this chickie-babe since she was like 15. And since I am only 22 or so, I find her calculations to be amiss.
Tonya: Seriously. 27.
Me: Holy cow, Tonya! We are sure getting old aren't we?
Tonya: Don't remind me.
Me: Wow! 27.
What I didn't know was that my brother was really hating my guts just then.
Stayed tuned for details on that.
Snupp's turn for presents!
Cue the present vultures.
Ain't she cute?
She's ten now.
*tear*
Uh-oh.
Guess who's getting bored . . .
Fact: Lumberjacks can oft get bored at big, family gatherings.
Who knew?!
On your mark . . .
Get set . . .
Go!
Look at me pushing him away.
It seems to be a pattern with me . . . pushing my boys away from me in such situations . . .
But, in my defense, he was going to slam into me!
Time to open presents from Aunt Meagan . . . all the way from Germany!
Cue the present vultures!
Interruption: That handsome young man is my nephew, Big Dude.
And . . .
Cue picture of my dad looking slightly ridiculous in Snupp's hat.
Opening the loot from Meagan . . .
and trying to decipher what the gifts are . . .
as none of us speak the delightful language of German . . .
Bubble bath or shower gel?
You be the judge.
Chapstick or glue sticks?
My dad told Big Dude it was Chapstick.
Attention Big Dude: Aunt Meagan has informed us that it is not Chapstick, but is, in fact, gluesticks.
Sorry about that.
Your PopPop is kind of a goober.
Need proof?
Exhibit A:
(he is trying to send a text message)
Exhibit B
(not quite sure what is going on here)
And, finally, Handsome Dude was super excited for his card . . .
and grateful.
***
And now, for the Goober Parent Update.
The cast of characters in this update are as follows:
My Mom and Dad.
My brother, Danny.
My sister-in-law, Tonya.
Me.
And The Lumberjack.
This conversation took place at this very birthday party.
We are sitting at the table, eating cake.
Little Dude is completely covered in frosting.
My mom looks at Danny and says: I bet you are glad you guys are out of the baby stage, huh?
My brother starts choking on his cake.
Tonya turns red.
Mom: Oh, dear. Did I say something?
Danny continues to choke.
Mom: What's going on?
My mother's motherly instinct is insane.
It's like a tractor beam . . . sucks you right in . . .
(Name that movie)
Tonya: Well, we are thinking of . . .
Mom: You're pregnant!
Tonya: Well, I might be, but not for sure yet.
Danny: I finally talked her into it.
Tonya: Yeah . . . I haven't really wanted anymore.
Danny: And then Taylor comes over, kids are puking, kids are peeing . . .
Tonya: And then Taylor keeps making a big deal out of how old I am now . . .
Danny: Yeah, Taylor! Geez! You are going to talk her out of it.
Me: Oops!
My Dad: What are you all talking about down there?
My Mom: They are trying.
My Dad to the Lumberjack: Trying to do what?
The Lumberjack: (turns beat red) Um . . . better have them explain.
My Mom: For a baby.
My Dad: What do you mean they are trying?
Tonya: Oh, dear.
My Dad: I don't understand this "trying" business.
My Mom: Grant!
My Dad: Either you are or you aren't.
Awkward.
Danny: Ok, Dad.
My Mom: Well, that's exciting!
Me: Yeah! You totally aren't too old to have babies!
Danny: Taylor, be quiet.
Me: Hey! I am going to be 29 soon. Now, that's old!
My Dad: I don't get this trying business. I mean, how is this different than 2 years ago?
Everyone else: Huh?
My Dad: I don't understand.
Me: Mom. Can you explain this all to Dad on the way home?
Dad: Does this mean you might have another baby?
Danny and Tonya: Yes!
Dad: Oh! Great! I still don't get this trying business though.
Mom: We'll talk later.
And with that, my dad went to text the good news to my sister.
The end.
27 is in no way too old to have a baby!!!! that is just silly!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh I'm dying here. Your dad is cracking me up. 27 is not too old. My SIL just had number three and she's 37. I don't know how she has the energy!
ReplyDeleteI'm still "laughing out loud!"
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! Did Big Dude and Snupps have anything to say about potentially being really big siblings?
ReplyDeleteAnd Tonya is silly. I probably won't have kids until I am 35.
And Dad most definitely not text me to tell me that they were thinking about having another baby.
And is Handsome Dude crying at the sight of my birthday card?
Love the post!
No, they weren't around for that conversation. Tonya is silly! She is not too old. Dad was getting made fun of big time on the texting thing, so he may have given up. :) Handsome Dude was crying at the sight of your card. :) Cause he is awesome like that.
ReplyDeleteToo funny! Well, it looks I can kiss my dreams of a big family goodbye. I've only two more years until I hit the 27 yr. cut off date. Guess I better start popping out some babies of my own! ;)
ReplyDeletefirst- 27? She's practically a baby herself. My sister who is one year younger than me has a 3 year old. I have a child turning 22 in June. Let's just say when my sister had her baby she was way way older than 27.
ReplyDeleteOh, and snow on Easter just isn't right.
Okay, was he texting that they're having a baby or that they're trying? And even if he doesn't get the "trying" stuff, apparently he mastered it as one point because you and your siblings are here, aren't you?
ReplyDeleteI do find it hysterically funny that they decide to "try" and then you and LJ show up with all your kids and their bodily fluids. If they still want to "try" after that, you know they're committed!
Funny! Your dad cracks me up.
ReplyDeleteAnd FYI... I got married at the age of 27 and had my first child at almost 31 and my fourth child at 38. Tonya is a mere girl. :)
Um...I started having kids at 27....not gonna tell you how old I am now ;)
ReplyDeleteThis post is absolutely funny.
ReplyDeleteYour dad sounds like my kind of guy. :)
Marla @ www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com
Please, please tell me he was trying to be funny.
ReplyDeleteAnd 27 is not even close to too old.
Your parents crack me up! How am I NOT going to laugh hysterically the next time I see them (which would be this coming Sunday)? Did Meagan send any Kinder-Eggs? Those are the best, and you can only get them from Germany. I loved the chapstick part too. And 27 is not too old... I just had my first baby at the ripe, old age of 28! :)
ReplyDeleteohhhh painfully awkward...ahhh. Dads. They're awesome. And 27 is NOT old. I plan to consider myself young until around 80. And then I'll just be "middle aged". Seriously. 27 is "hot mom" stage, foooor sure. At least, when you're not cleaning up barf and pee. But no one has to know about that. ...unless you blog about it. ;) hehehe
ReplyDeleteHeeehehehe! Just leave it to a clueless dad! He's a hoot and a half! Happy birthday to your sis! I'm so glad you had a great visit. It looks like an Easter to remember.
ReplyDeleteGod bless ya and have a terrific Tuesday!!!
So, how did TAYLOR ever make it into this world if her parents high-five good-night and her Daddy doesn't know how to TRY to have a baby? WASSSUP with that? Maybe you were adopted. Maybe the stork is real.
ReplyDeleteI got horribly embarrassed to tell my dad that I was pregnant, because then he had to know Studmuffin and I had been "high fiving."
ReplyDeleteI love your family. I love your parents. I love your dad. I think I am married to him. Ok, not him exactly but definately his evil twin.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe she was egg-hunting! Was the puke just a fluke? Was it from the car driving so far?
ReplyDeleteThat conversation is pretty funny. Family is such good blog material. :)
1. again Dumb and Dumber
ReplyDelete2. UHU - my favorite kind of glue sticks don't u guys read labels?
3. Hi Meagan
4. How can u b 22 if Neil is 27?
5. Tonya can't be that age.
6. I'm tho cornfused?
7. Yeah right, hubby talked her into it.
Should have clarified . . . she was car sick! No stomach bug! We were on some pretty windy roads . . .
ReplyDeleteAuntie Datenutloaf:
ReplyDelete1. yes for Dumb and Dumber.
2. Honestly, I didn't see the gluesticks until after the fact. I just thought it was hilarious that Pa told Big Dude they were chapstick.
3. Hi, Meagan!
4. I know! Crazy! I am, in fact, 28.
5. Tonya is, in fact, 27.
6. It's okay. Your name is Datenutloaf, for Pete's sake. We know you are confused.
7. I think that is true actually. I have heard from them for a couple of years that he has wanted another one and she was thinking 2 was good.
Love,
Lumberjillloaf.
No. He lives life in a stupor of confusion. So sad.
ReplyDeleteBut, God Bless him . . . he's my dad.
Kidding!
But no, he was serious.
That was too funny. I actually laughed out loud. Good thing I'm not at work this morning :)
ReplyDelete(of course, if I was at work, I wouldn't be reading blogs.. nope, not me)
Well after reading that I can understand why you stay away from the *winking* posts lest your dad get ahold of them.
ReplyDeleteHe'd probably have no idea what you're talking about though.
Your Dad: Honey, what's all this winking Taylor's writing about?
Your Mom: It's not really winking, she is talking about being intimate with LJ
Your Dad: Using her eyelids? That's strange and I don't understand.
Your Mom: No, not using her eyelids.
Your Dad: Well I don't know of any other way to wink.
Your dad is funny.
Glad I had my first baby in November, since my deadline is fast approaching this September.
ReplyDeleteBut how sad is this? I'm 26 and I had to sit here and recalculate to make sure I'm still 26. How can I be at the stage where I can't remember how old I am? This happens to me every time someone asks me my age - I freeze and look at my husband to answer for me.
(and then I get to rib him about how ancient he is now that he's turning 28 this year).
Family is so funny... I love it.
Your dad cracks me up!
ReplyDeleteHi Meagan!
How exciting for Danny and Tonya!
Very funny! Thanks for giving me a laugh in the middle of a dreary work day!
ReplyDeleteYour blog titles are so innocuous...and then I read them and they are so stinkin' hilarious in ways I never expect!
ReplyDeleteYou are a comic genius.
(sigh) I'm 38 and not seeing kids ever on my horizon, much less a husband. THAT makes me way older. :(
ReplyDelete[...] The Birthday Party, part 2 [...]
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