Crazykins

In-laws.

Mine are crazy.

They call burritos tacos.

They put ketchup on their tacos, which are actually burritos.

They pronounce the word "measure", "may-zure."

They wash and reuse ziplock bags.

They have 3 different garbage cans: trash, burn, compost.

I never know which one to use.

Gum is the trickiest for me.

The lumberjack tells me to put it in the burn trashcan.

But then my father-in-law gets angry and gripes about scraping gum out of the burn barrels.

And then the lumberjack laughs and laughs and tells him I did it.

Which has led me to believe that the lumberjack has played a trick on me.

It is best to just swallow the gum.

They buy spices in bulk.

They raise their own chickens for farm fresh eggs.

They raise their own pigs.

They have names for their beef.

They always use tablecloths.

They make their own applesauce.

They smear said applesauce on pork chops.

They lather said applesauce on chocolate cake.

They glob said applesauce on chocolate chip cookies.

They are big fans of their applesauce.

Their Christmas lists ask for drills, wrenches, shop vacs, and pressure washers.

They fix their own cars.

They tile their own floors.

They refinish their own furniture.

They used to make me blush when discussing their stripping parties.

But now, I understand that stripping means something different to those who refinish furniture.

They are very different from my family.

My family is not weird at all.

Nope.

Not one bit.

We correctly say "measure."

We know the difference between burritos and tacos.

We put salsa on tacos and burritos.

We put ketchup on burgers.

We call repairmen when something is broken.

We just buy new furniture.

We buy eggs from the store.

We buy pork from the store.

We buy beef from the store.

We buy applesauce from the store.

We buy plenty of ziplock bags and throw them away after each use.

And to the best of my knowledge, my parents have never stripped regularly on Thursdays.

If you know otherwise, please don't tell me.

In-laws.

Yes, they are different.

But, they are pretty fun, too.

After 9 years, I am definitely getting used to their wacky ways.

I helped make applesauce.

I've caught myself calling a burrito a taco.

I put out salsa and ketchup when making tacos.

I am married to my own repairman.

I've even stripped with the Lumberjack.

A table, people.

We stripped a table.

Goodness.

But I will never, ever, ever reuse a ziplock bag.

That is just crossing the line.