Thursday, May 3, 2012

Chickens are Friends, NOT Food

We had nowhere to be last weekend, so David and I decided that we would try and get as much done to our garden as possible.  Our goal was to finish getting the land cleared and tilled.  Our garden is pretty gigantic, so this would be no small feat.  To begin, David and the kids (or, more accurately David and "sometimes" the girls) hauled every bit of rabbit poop they could find to dump into the garden site while I ran the Rototiller.

Yes!  I, Taylor Maliblahblah, ran a piece of farm machinery.  Be impressed.

As I trudged wearily through piles and piles of rabbit poo-poo, I had to wonder what had become of my life.  But sometimes it is best if we not dwell on such things.

We ended up working ueber hard and not only got the entire garden tilled, but we also put up the fence.  Because we are rockstars.  Clearly.

kids working on garden
We put on our thinking caps for this fence and decided to dig a trench so we could bury the fence.

Helpful Farm and Ranch Tip:  When building a fence for your chicken coop, be sure to bury your chicken wire.  Otherwise your chickens might declare themselves to "Free-Range" chickens without your approval.

Ask me how I know.

Our garden is a large rectangle.  The long sides are each a bit over 100 feet and the width is somewhere around 30-40 feet.  It is a bit tricky to try and stretch 8ft high wire across 100ft.  But have no fear!  My husband is The Man with a Plan.

Introducing David's 432nd use for a Winch (not a wench):

winch
Pulling wire tight.

garden building
You see the truck way down there?  The winch on the truck is pulling the wire tight so we don't have to.

David.  So brilliant.  And he was homeschooled.  So soldier on, fellow homeschooling moms.

Soldier on.

So, we pulled the wire tight across the great expanse that is soon to be our garden.

garden building 2
And guess what?  I have never gardened.  Ever.  My husband tends to do things on a grand scale.

My wife wants chickens?  I shall bring her 34 before I even put in a fence.

My wife wants a garden?  I shall make her the largest garden known to man and wish her the best of luck.

My wife doesn't want rabbits?  Ha.  We shall have 40-130, depending on how amorous the rabbits are feeling on any given month.

I would have to say I reached a low point in my life last weekend.  You see, dear readers, we decided to attach chicken wire to the bottom portion of the fence to keep out the smaller critters.  You know.  Like chickens.  David gave me this job and in order to do it, I had to plop my hiney right into the soil/rabbit poo mixture and attach wire along the fence.

You should have seen my hiney.  It was the final step in my transformation from city girl to hillbilly.

***

Let's talk about Little Dude.  Oh, he is giving me trouble.  Yes, yes.

He loves him some spaghetti and so I gave him some for lunch.  I turned my back for 0.4 seconds and this is what happened:

ld eating with tank
Me:  Why is there spaghetti on Tank's head?

LD:  Cause he like ba-sketti, too, Mom.

The astute reader might notice the boy is not wearing pants.  To that reader I say:

"Have you read this blog?"

Little Dude is also trying to be helpful with the chickens.  He brought in eggs today.

See?

cracked egg
He also couldn't find his boots, so he wore flip flops and got his toes all dirty.  I bet you can find the boots though, can't you?  Not so tricky, Little Dude.

Since his grimy hands were full of eggs, he did not think to close the coop door.  This resulted in

The Great Chicken Escape of 2012

chickens loose 2
I sent Little Dude, the helpful soul that he is, back into the house.  And he went.  But he forgot to close the door and let the dogs out.

The dogs find it to be their duty to slaughter all inferior chickens immediately.  So you can imagine my predicament.

There was a lot of yelling, my friends.  And wing-flapping.  And yelling.  But no chickens died and the dogs remain innocent.

We are, however, launching a new slogan around here.  You know.  To motivate the dogs.

"Chickens are Friends.  Not Food."

The kids find this to be humorous.  And what is life without humor?  I ask you?

It's a ridiculously crazy life full of fugitive chickens, broken eggs, and rabbit poo.  One must find something to laugh about.

Thankfully, the girls and I have gotten to be good "Chicken Wranglers."


And we herded them all back in.

dm herding chicken
And of course, the chickens will just poke their way through the unburied fence and go on more adventures.

But we get points for trying.

16 comments:

  1. When ever I am having a bad day (and the last 48 hours have been truly wretched) I know I can click over here and count on you for a laugh... You and your blog are bright spots on this planet Taylor! Thank you for your humorous looks into your life!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That post tired me right out. Holla!

    ReplyDelete
  3. My husband is jealous of your husband's winch and his dozer...

    But not his wench. My husband already has one of those thank you very much...

    ReplyDelete
  4. How do you know?
    YOU told me to ask!

    it's so funny, I would rather be sitting in rabbit poo then going out for coffee.

    Okay, so that is completely and utterly incorrect! I am a country girl turned City and you are a city girl turned country.

    But you are doing it oh, so very well. Let me tell you! YOU wanted Chickens and YOU want a garden.

    Huge, I tell you! I am so proud of you!

    I still don't want to drink coffee, though!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I continue to be amazed...that is all.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. We live on a small 5 acres. My boys recently combined their saved money and realized that they have enough to buy 5 lambs. Or 2 lambs and a bunch of chickens. Or 2 lambs, a few chickens, and some rabbits. I, however, am a dedicated follower of your blog. I know the things which will go wrong with this little investment plan of theirs. I cannot possibly thank you enough for the warning!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Today is national Don't Wear Pants day. Tell LD to roam free to his heart's content :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hey Taylor,

    I have nothing in common with you. I am single, have no kids, live in the city and only own 1 dog. However your blog is my favortie blog to read! We would so be friends. You are hilarious as are your kids and all of your animals and building fence activities and farm life happenings. Thanks for always making me laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your life. It's so . . . much. I think your day has more hours in it than other people get.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I said, "Oh NO!!" so much while reading this! Little Dude ... have you thought about sewing velcro to his trousers and sticking him to the carpet? Oh - forgot. You don't sew. When's your aunt next visiting?!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your life is so much more eventful than mine--in a good way! I get your updates around midnight-ish. Is it weird to say that I stay up and wait for them? :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am thinking you need your own show : )

    ReplyDelete
  13. I think they have their own show...........it just isn't on TV (yet).
    Speaking of that I don't remember you ever mentioning TV ............do you all watch TV?

    ReplyDelete
  14. You get sainthood points after those escapes!

    And umm... just wait until you miss collecting a couple of eggs and you suddenly have 52 chickens. And Three Very Angry Momma Hens who chase and claw the everloving snot out of anyone who dares to collect the other 146 eggs everyday.

    Ask me how I know :)


    Sorry for the mirth, but trust me that it is empathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Wait wait.........I just saw the last picture..........the only people on earth that put up a fence with a bulldozer.............unless you count the border fences the gov't has up.

    ReplyDelete