Price Checker.

As you may recall from my previous postings, we have been working on rebuilding this old house of ours for the past 7 years.

Remodeling.

It's all my children know in life.

And it is precisely the reason why my third-born,  Handsome Dude,  sleeps with a level.

But, I digress.

Back in the early days, we had to live at my parents house while we gutted out our home.

I was very pregnant and looking charming . . .

as is always the case with me.

Yes.

I am taking pictures of pictures.

Classy, I know.

So, the Lumberjack, who is, in fact, an electrician would work during the day, electrifying things.

Then he would head to the other house and work on making it inhabitable.

My one and only job was that of :

The Price Checker.

That's right.

I am my husband's help meet.

I would call all the large home improvement warehouses, find out their prices, and call The Lumberjack with the best deals.

One day, he asked me to order windows.

He gave me a list with all the measurements and said,

"Tell them we need the sizes as close to this as possible.  If it is not exact, I want to go bigger, rather than smaller."

So, I called Home Depot to order aforementioned windows and I repeat specifically what The Lumberjack instructed me to say.

Home Depot Man:  No, no, no, Miss.  You don't want to go bigger.

Me:  I don't?

Home Depot Man:  No.  That's not how people usually order windows.

Me:  They don't?

That Lumberjack.  He always makes me look like an idiot.

Home Depot Man:  No.  You want to go smaller, rather than larger.

Me:  Ok.  My husband said-

Home Depot Man:  No.  If you go bigger, you have a whole mess with cutting into sheet rock and moving around trim . . . it is a disaster. 

Me:  Well, you are the expert!

I hung up the phone.

Then I began to fume.

Yes.

Fume.

For you see, dear readers, Lumberjill never wanted a stupid fixer-upper in the first place.

Lumberjill dislikes fixer-uppers.

Lumberjill likes finished houses.

But my Lumberjack, in all his handsomeness, convinced me that this fixer-upper would be the way to go.  He could do it all himself, save us some money, we would flip it in about 1 year (ha! . . .one year . . . ha!ha!ha!), and we would make a profit.

So we bought the house.

Darn him.

Darn his swooning ways and his "come hither" looks.

You should be ashamed of yourself, Lumberjack, for tricking me into thinking you knew how to rebuild a house, when clearly you do not.

You.

Should.

Be.

A.

Shamed.

So, I did what any decent, caring, and loving wife would do.

I called him immediately to inform him of his wrongs.

LJ (short for Lumberjack -keep up, people!):  What's up?

Me:  Just called Home Depot.

LJ:  Did you order the windows?

Me:  Yes.  And I found out you don't know what you are talking about.

LJ:  What are you talking about?

Me:  Home Depot Man.  He told me you were wrong about the windows.

LJ:  Huh?

Me:  This is ridiculous.  We bought this house.  It is completely gutted.  And you don't know what you are talking about.

LJ:  Huh?

Me:  Home Depot Man told me that you don't want to go bigger. You want to go smaller.  And he said that is the way everyone does it.

LJ:  Why did he say that?

Me:  Because he said that if you go bigger, you have to cut into the sheet rock and it is a lot more work!

LJ:  TAYLOR. WE DON'T HAVE SHEET ROCK.

Me:  Oh!  Well, what is sheet rock?

Darn it.

So then I had to immediately switch out of my nagging-know-it-all-very-cranky-and-hugely-pregnant mood and dive immediately into the character of loving-supportive-sweet-respectful-yet-still-hugely-pregnant wife.

My recovery time was amazing.

Attention Wifely Readers:  I highly recommend you refrain from ever diving into the nagging-know-it-all-cranky wife mood.

It never works out well.

Go ahead and be hugely pregnant, though.

You are going to have to push a baby out your bum in the forseeable future.

So, eat.

What else is there for you?

But nagging-no.

So, I became nice again, complimented him on his muscles, big truck, and extensive collection of power tools.

And made him his favorite Rice Krispies Treats.

Awhile back, I informed you all that, if you were lucky, I would someday share my delicious Rice Krispies Treats recipe with you.

Guess what.

Today is that day.

Now, stop laughing.  I am fully aware that the Rice Krispies Treats recipe can be found on every single Rice Krispies box known to man.

But I add things.

I add two things, baby.

Ok.

So, in a large pot, you melt the 3 tablespoons of butter or margarine. 

Then you add a couple of spoonfuls of peanut butter.

Peanut butter!  Yes!  That is one of the secret ingredients!

But, wait!

There's more!

Prepared to be wowed with one more secret ingredient at the end of this delightful recipe.

So, you melt the butter and the peanut butter along with the 40-ish marshmallows.

Remove from heat!

Add 6 cups of Rice Krispies.

Stir until well-coated.

Are you ready for secret ingredient #2?

Prepare to be wowed.

Add 1-2 cups of chocolate chips, or however much you fancy.

Spread in a greased pan, let it cool for a bit, then serve to your husband who is wondering why on earth God blessed him with such a nagging-know-it-all-very-cranky-and-hugely-pregnant wife.

And hope that he forgets all of your foolishness once the delicious treats are in his belly.

Happy Thursday!

PS-Happy Birthday to my Auntie Datenutloaf!