Hang on to your pants, folks.
This is going to be a bummer of a post.
***
Yesterday.
Yesterday, I read this post from the blog "Let's Talk About Boys."
It is about a mom forgetting to seal the lid to a paint can, resulting in her boys spilling aforementioned paint and splashing it all around her floors.
I chuckled to myself as I read it, sure nothing like that would happen to me.
Or.
So.
I.
Thought.
About 6 hours , yes just 6 HOURS, after I read that post, Handsome Dude and Little Dude were playing grocery shopping.
This is, in fact, precious.
They push around the toy cart and shop all day long.
Handsome Dude: Cokey! (Cokey is what HD calls Little Dude.) Want some chocolate milk?
Little Dude: Uh-huh!
Handsome Dude: Cokey! Want some pop?
Little Dude: Uh-huh!
As you can see, we never allow our children to drink their calories.
Interruption: I would like to inform the Tribal Council that Lumberjill does not agree with giving the Lumberjacklings soda pop. But the Lumberjack, in all his handsomeness, insists on driving me insane and gives them soda pop whenever he deems fit.
Boo, Lumberjack.
Boo.
Aaaaannnnnddddd . . . . I love him.
Any-whosie-whatsie . . . they decide to play,
"Shop at Home Depot."
Handsome Dude found the unopened, sealed paint cans in the laundry room.
Alert! The Laundry room is STILL not finished! Alert! It is STILL not finished!
I told him he could not play with those, and he, being the good boy that he is, walked them back into the laundry room and dropped them.
Resulting in the paint can breaking open and beautiful, white paint flowing all over the new laundry room floor.
Tragic.
I am, however, amazingly awesome, and got it all cleaned up with nary (did I use that word right, Erin?) a droplet of paint remaining, so as to fool my Lumberjack into thinking no such incident ever occurred.
We must have him believing that I am an excellent help meet who always has a watchful eye over the youngins'.
I am going to need a 10-4 good buddy from anyone else who has ever heard the phrase, "Help Meet."
Over and out.
***
American Idol.
Oh, how it toys with my heart.
I loved both Lee and Crystal.
And while I am so super excited for Lee . . . I still feel a smidgen sad for Crystal.
Was anyone else conflicted?
They were both the cats meow.
Does anyone else watch American Idol?
Is it okay for 28 and 3/4 year olds to watch American Idol?
Attention Lee:
I will always heart the bagpiper night.
***
Ruralville.
To move or not to move . . . that is the question.
I am packing.
Are we moving?
Attention bank: Let's wrap this up. Thank you.
***
**Updated Portion**
I published this post and completely bypassed this dreadful part of the day.
It happens.
I have been going through the closets and weeding out needless materials that can be donated to the local thrift stores.
I determined that the upstairs, hardly-ever-used bathtub would be a swell and dandy place to store these goods.
No.
No, dear readers.
No it was not.
One of my precious dudes . . .
who shall remain nameless, turned on the water, creating a bathtub full of water-soaked, unused goods.
So.
I am trying to get that mess cleaned up.
And I am cranky with set socks.
***
It is a rainy, gloomy morning.
I was just girding up my loins for a morning of fun-filled packing and blinds cleaning.
100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can tell me the best, quickest way to clean faux wood blinds.
I usually use Swiffers.
But I am open to other options.
My dear-heart friend, Amanda, called and asked if she could bring me a Starbucks.
Holla, Amanda!
Holla!
And while she was getting the quick laundry room tour, our dog Mabel
threw up.
Like everywhere.
It was nasty-wrong.
100 (meaningless) point to anyone who can guess which stay-at-home-mom who occasionally writes in a pointless blog is out of paper towels.
Tragic.
So, I dealt with the mess.
And decided to sip my latte and complain to all of you.
You're welcome.
Happy Thursday!
Oh Taylor.
ReplyDeleteYou need to go back to bed and start over.
Excellent use of the word 'nary'.
10-4 Good buddy on 'helpmeet'
Holla.
oh 10-4 good buddy, 10-4
ReplyDeletei take mine down and put them in the bathtub with a mild detergent (like Mr. Clean) let them sit awhile. Then swoosh them around and hang them on the deck like the hoosier I am. (ya gotta know the neighbors LOVE me!)
BTW - that would be the blinds i swoosh and hang, not the boys...that would be bad, very bad.
ReplyDeleteOh wow. And you still have the whole day to go. Lots of prayers that this day goes by quickly...
ReplyDelete...and that where ever you live has a paper towel supply to support you. :)
You get a billion meaningful points for posting a picture of Eeyore...and for making me laugh. :)
ReplyDelete10/4 good buddy. Got that one on the bookshelf, it stays there 95% of the time till I can find the strength to read another page or two out of it. Think I'm like on year 5 with that one now :(
ReplyDeleteWow paint & puke The paint could have been worse in the long run, but hot dog puke oh man that is #1 worse job in the world!
If you are doing a short sale & feel comfortable e-mail me. We are and it is driving me nuts & I want to know what other people are going through with dealing with this.
After your morning from H*** I'm sure the rest of your day can only get better:)
oh my, what a mess!!! but you are awesome for getting every little bit up!!! that's a 1o-4 good buddy (on the whole whole help meet deal)!! eeewww i CANNOT , i repeat CANNOT stand vomit, of any kind, dog or otherwise!!! that is just all kinds of nasty wrong!!! boo mabel boo........over and out!! =)
ReplyDeletebtw, thank you for your kind words on my post from yesterday!! i honestly couldn't have dealt with this tragedy if not for my God and Saviour!!!
oh btw...the stay-at-home-mom who writes a **FABULOUS** blog is YOU!!! =) i get 100 points, i get 100 points!!!! =)
ReplyDeleteomygosh how did you clean up the paint??? and gross, Mabel. Take it outside.
ReplyDeleteSomeday you will laugh, I promise.
ReplyDeleteSince my kids are mostly older, days like these are their favorite memories to rehash over Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.
And, yes, I use helpmeet all the time. Cut my Christian baby teeth on the King James version. :)
10-4 Good Buddy!
ReplyDeleteSorry for the bad morning :( It is a rather glommy day.
I woke up to cat puke yesterday morning so I totally feel your pain. Gross!!
Hope the rest of your day perks up :)
I use swiffers on my blinds. I don't like the results, but I don't want to put any additional effort into getting better results.
ReplyDeleteThe night before we moved to Uganda (as in East Africa) we were up all night packing. My husband decided to touch up the paint job he had done on the mission house we stayed in. At 1:00 in the morning. He dropped the five gal. bucket of paint on the carpet. We hauled the two oldest out of bed and had them help us clean up the mess and wash the carpet. I hated my husband that night.
The kids and I reminisce about that night. My husband does not.
Stuff in the bathtub--now you can throw it out without feeling guilty.
Order pizza for dinner, tuck the kids in early and watch something mindless and totally girly on tv. Tell your husband after the day you had, it IS all about you tonight. Eat ice cream.
Thanks for the uplifting and delightful story! Since it didn't happen to me (and nothing like that ever does. ahem), all I can say is that it made me smile and brightened my day.
ReplyDeleteAnd on a side note, I have been noticing that since I have been reading your blog and LOVING it, I have to stop myself MANY a time before I use the word "aforementioned." I have never thought of that word before. But now I find myself begging myself to use it...in life, in my blog. The word comes up all the time. And I literally have to beat it out of my head!
I hope knowing that you have influenced me in my life (substantially) makes your day a little better!
10-4 good buddy.
ReplyDeleteNo papertowels is the reason these things are happening. Haven't you heard of Murphy's Law?
Dear Taylor,
ReplyDelete10-4 good buddy.
I thought you HAD covered the tragic portion of your day. Dude...the paint? Remember? The bathtub story was not necessary to make me feel adequately bad for you.
Stop creating drama just so you can have our pity.
Just kidding.
Love,
Kimberly the MW
Sorry to spoil the fun, but whenever I read the term Help Meet (and it's EVERYWHERE in bloggyville!) I just want to scratch all over. It gives me hives. Isn't it Help MATE? Is that just how they say it in Brooklyn? Am I the only crazy one?
ReplyDeleteI'm also allergic to people saying "Duck Tape." But, Taylor, with your handsome LJ, you will never say Duck Tape. Thank G-d!
Oh, well, I thought the dreadful part of the day was the paint spilling all over the laundry room floor. For the sopping wet clothes I would through them in the washer and turn on the spin cycle to ring out the water and then throw them in the dryer. I'd also love to know how to clean faux wood blinds...last time I did it with a cloth and had to wipe each wood slat individually! Needless to say, I don't clean my blinds very often...what. a. hassle!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I must say that my Dear Hubby has done the same thing to my 2 youngest. He thought it was so cute when he would come home from work and he would let them finish his diet coke. They now both LOVE soda. My Big Guy hates soda and I think that's because he was much older when he tried it. And, like you, I still love my man:)
ReplyDeleteGood job getting the paint cleaned up! I'm sure that no one who reads your blog will fill him in. Shhhhh.
And at least you did get your starbucks. Enjoy.
10-4 Holla!
ReplyDeleteYou win.
ReplyDeleteThis day is madness, worse than mine was yesterday.
I would suggest closing the blinds. Then, it's so dark, you can't see dust, right?
Mmmm....Starbucks! I need some RIGHT now at 2 p.m. because I have been waking up at 5:30 with my evil 2 year old. Tips?
Help Meet? I've heard of it. IT sounds a bit wack, but that's just the bra burning side of me talking :)
Oh, it is nice that my six year old tragedy can return some laughter to me today. What a mess! I'm so sorry. At least my floor was old and nasty anyway -not brand new.
ReplyDelete10-4 Good Buddy, and Holla. I was raised in the south, in a good ol' conservative Church of Christ. We certainly talked about being a good Help Meet. Only later on, when the church tried to modernize did it become Help Mate.... I think. I could be wrong on all counts.
ReplyDeleteI'm with the trailer trash side about blinds. I too, throw them in the tub, swish and hang on the patio. However, these blinds now, are vinyl, breaking and nasty. They are going in the dumpter when they come down.
I hear you on moving, we're the same, cleaning, purging. Take the day off tomorrow, you have my permission.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
ReplyDeleteI'm here to drop of this lovely Peonies and these warm gooey brownies in hopes that it encourages this process gets a lot less painful and paint spill free.
And I don't. I don't clean my blinds... I need to but I don't.
And NO WAY! you are not too old for AI :) I <3 Lee!
That's a 10-4, good buddy. I do know what a Help Meet is. I almost used that in my blog last night but I didn't know if others would get it. Glad you used it!
ReplyDeleteHang in there. Hope your day got better!
I find dog vomit more revolting than human vomit. I guess that's because we humans do not eat much of the stuff my dog decides to ingest. I kinda shudder just typing this.
ReplyDeleteI did love the image of your dudes shopping.
You had quite the day : ) Here's hoping tomorrow has more packing and less puking.
Hi :) Interesting post ... no, I don't watch AI ... I pretty much never watch TV unless on vacation. Being out of paper towels is definitely an emergency situation at our house. 10-4 Good Buddy! I think I'm too tired to post a proper comment right now ... loooooooooooooong day for me too!
ReplyDeleteThat would be "throw" them in the washer...
ReplyDeleteDang, girl...I thought I was having a bad day.
ReplyDeleteYou win. You most certainly win.
Thanks for the giggles. With you...not at you.
:)
Ahh! Again, I say I don't know how you do it! Christian spilled his milk on the table and floor the other day and for a minute I wanted to flip out...just ONE MORE MESS to clean up. I might have to get rid of a puking dog. Sorry, I know people love their animals.
ReplyDeleteI sure hope tomorrow is a better day. :)
Wow, what a coincidence with the Paint...
ReplyDeleteI don't know about 28 and 3/4 year olds, but I'm 27 and 1/4 and I enjoy American Idol... (which is odd because I don't watch American Idol... I saw one season (the one before this one) but that's it... ) I enjoyed it, but I don't watch tv. (Reminder to self, re-cancel the cable that I ordered for the Olympics soon so I can quit paying for it) haha
[...] have told stories – Here is The Lumberjack’s Wife (AKA Lumberjill) on boys, messes, Idol, Starbucks and being a &#...HAHA! Love [...]
ReplyDeleteI don't know how many of my words came back to bite me in the butt (it was a lot) before I learned to NEVER say "that won't happen with my kids."
ReplyDeleteHumiliation.
Every.
Time.
Yay for Eeyore!! Not many people say that, but I've always been a fan.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I watched American Idol and I think that the right thing happened. Yeah, Crystal was good and everything, but she'll do much better on her own, not under the American Idol contract where they'll expect her to make Top 40's pop hits. It's for the best! :)
Ohhh what a day! Sorry it was so bad, idk how i missed this post yesterday.. weird I must have thought since I talked to you I had checked for posts...
ReplyDeleteI LOVE Idol :) Me and your mom chat about it often. I too liked both, they were both good, but I wanted Lee to take it, however I thought Crystal would. So I am torn too, very happy for Lee but sad for Crystal, but you know she will have a record deal with how awesome she is. Look at Daughtry, he wasnt even runner up.. he has done better than some of the winners. Others have done great that havent won Adam, Katherine, etc.
Anyways heres to better days! And less gloomy ones :)
[...] I mentioned on my Tragical Thursday, Mabel, our beloved dog of nearly 10 years, threw [...]
ReplyDelete[...] it much better. Bring someone coffee My darling friend, Amanda, did this for me on my dreary, tragical Thursday last week. Aaaannnnndddd . . . I heart her. Offer to babysit someone’s kids Trust me. [...]
ReplyDelete