As you may recall, we closed on our new house last Wednesday.
And you also may recall that it was an incredibly hectic and stressful day with us trying to get a closing time on Wednesday so that we would not lose our house.
Do you remember?
Do you remember?
Good.
Because I have a little story to tell you from that crazy day.
After the Lumberjack came home with the flowers for me . . .
of which Daisy Mae stole, The Lumberjack and I were getting really stressed and worried.
We were anxious to get the "WE ARE CLOSING IN ONE HOUR GET TO THE BANK AND THE TITLE COMPANY NOW" call.
Right before we left for Daisy Mae's graduation, The Lumberjack got a text.
Me: Who is it from?!
LJ (short for Lumberjack. Keep up, people!): Jason.
Me: Jason your brother or Jason the realtor?
LJ: Realtor.
Me: Did he give us the closing time?
LJ: No.
Me: What did he say? Why are you laughing?
LJ: He told me I should make this song my ringtone.
Then LJ played me this strange ringtone that involved Western-like whipping sounds and I think had the words "Blazing Saddles" in it.
I am 99% certain it was this little number:
Disclaimer: The Lumberjack's Wife is not responsible, nor is she supportive of, any foul or inappropriate language that may or may not be heard in the opening segments of that clip.
*Thank you*
Me: Our realtor Jason is sending you ringtones right now?
LJ: I guess.
I notice LJ is texting back.
Me: What are you texting?
Can we not all agree that I am a nosy-pants?
LJ: I told him: "This is my ringtone now" and I am going to send him my Paul Bunyan ringtone.
People.
Does anyone else think it is strange that on this stressful, worry-diahrrea filled day, our realtor is sitting in his office texting us ringtones of a humorous nature?
Thoughts?
Me: Did he ever respond?
LJ: No.
Me: Do we have a closing time?
LJ: No.
Me: Can you bring me flowers again soon since Daisy Mae stole mine?
LJ: Yes.
So, we went to the graduation, got the crazy voicemail that said we were closing in 5 minutes, rushed to the bank, rushed to the title company, signed no less than 4.2 billion papers and then the title company lady went to make copies.
It was just the Lumberjack and I, along with Jason, our realtor.
And a few Lumberjacklings scattered about.
Me: Jason, how do you get that ringtone? I don't know how to do that. Is it expensive?
Jason stares at me with a blank look.
Me: The ringtone? You just sent it to David a couple of hours ago?
Lest any of you are confused, The Lumberjack's name is, in fact, David.
Jason: What are you talking about?
LJ: Remember? Around 3:00 you texted me this ring tone?
LJ plays the ring tone.
Jason: Never heard it before.
LJ: Did you get my text telling you what my ring tone was?
Jason: Yes, I did.
LJ: But you sent me one first!
Jason: No, I did not.
Great.
Our realtor is a complete and utter liar.
Me: Just look in your text history, David.
LJ: I deleted it.
Fun Fact: The Lumberjack must delete each and every text he ever sends or receives immediately.
Lest anyone ever discovers that he does, in fact, text.
Lumberjacks pretend to hate texting.
But I know they find it to be quite convenient at times.
Quite.
The Title Company Lady came back into the room at this point, so the mystery was left unsolved.
Fast Forward about 2 hours . . .
We are at Pizza Hut with all my Lumberjackish In-laws, celebrating the graduation of Daisy Mae.
Jason looks at David.
Wait!
Not Jason our super awesome, yet sometimes lying, realtor.
No.
My brother-in-law Jason.
Remember Jason?
Jason: Hey, David! Did you ever get that ringtone I sent you earlier today?
Nice, Lumberjack.
Nice.
Attention all new Jasons that might be seeking friendship with the Lumberjack in the future: My apologies. But we know too many Jason's. It confuses my poor Lumberjack and he cannot befriend you at this time. Thank you.
*****
And now, I would like to share with you a few random thoughts, if I may.
1) Handsome Dude+Bag of opened sugar+no broom+Taylor not being able to figure out her new central vac= bad news.
2) I heart carpet.
3) Except for in bathrooms. And there is carpet in my bathroom. Odd.
4) I have yet to see a deer.
5) I have, in fact, seen deer poopies.
6) I have no food in my house.
7) Yet, I still holding on to those 4 pounds I put on.
8) We don't have trash pickup.
9) Oh, the humanity!
10) Our realtor was quite awesome and not a liar in the least. I highly recommend him.
11) I need to take a shower now.
Toodles!
carpet in the bathroom?? sounds like the first project for mr. lumberjack =)
ReplyDeleteHaha. This totally sounds like something that I would do.
ReplyDeleteMarla @ www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com
Oh dear, the bag of sugar scenario frightened me! The ringtone story amused me!
ReplyDeleteAlways fun and excitement around you. ;) That sugar and no broom scenario sounds really frightening.
ReplyDeleteCan you just make your ringtone "Holla"?
Here's how mine works...put one end of hose in the wall outlet. You probably have several outlets around the house. Your boys may discover them and drop things in there so be on the lookout because that would not be good for the vac.
ReplyDeleteMy outlets are covered and have a plate that flips up over them. The plate has to be opened halfway up for the vac to work. If it is all the way up it doesn't turn on. Also, make sure the canister isn't full...fyi, when you empty the canister a lot of dust drops out. Then you need a vacuum to get it up. Our canister is in the basement and we have a shop vac down there to vacuum the dust from the vacuum. Yes, I vacuum my vacuum.
Carpet in the bathroom sounds like England. That is common there. You have little boys with notorious bad aim so I highly recommend throw rugs on top of the carpet so you can easily wash them whenever you feel the need.
That is all my helpful housekeeping tips for now. Have a nice day : )
I think I'll stop complaining about the carpet in my dining room now...
ReplyDeleteI don't envy you the months (oh, sorry--weeks--didn't mean to discourage you) of unpacking boxes, organizing closets, decorating, etc., since I just went through it with four children. But I'm so glad you're in. It will all be worth it. :)
Of course there's no trash pickup! With life in Ruralville comes the delight of burning your trash. I'm sure LJ knows this and is eagerly looking forward to setting something on fire soon. And in no time at all, the Dudes will want to join him.
ReplyDeleteI do not like carpet in the bathroom. It gets nasty when certain people have less than a perfect aim.
Thank you for posting the picture of Jason again. I needed a smile today.
I have to say carpet in the bathroom is not only weird but just plain insane when there are children in the house!
ReplyDeleteI loved Joyce's statement "Yes, I vacuum my vacuum." ROFL - I would too, too much dust in those canisters not to!
I hope the sugar incident does not equal major catastrophe for the day!
I love everything about this post. EVERYTHING. HAHAHAHA! My husband one time got a call from a guy asking to speak to Naomi. So, my husband handed me the phone. The guy started saying all this creepy stuff to me. I was so freaked out. We exchanged heated and angry phone calls back and forth until it was discovered that he was calling a different naomi who's number was one digit off from my husbands cell number. Nothing that he said was creepy then, it all made sense that it was stuff you'd joke about with someone you know. VERY WEIRD.
ReplyDeleteFunny story about the Jasons. We have Bobs in my family...my dad and my brother-in-law and can you believe that once upon a time I was set up on a blind date with a Bob. That was too weird!
ReplyDeleteCarpet in the bathroom?? Who does that? Guess Lumberjack will have lots of projects in this house, too! :) Hope you're enjoying it all and get food soon!
ReplyDeleteWe too have carpet in our bathroom, and almost everywhere else.
ReplyDeleteI do not heart carpet. :-) It collects all sorts of things that make me sneeze, including tons of oak pollen that falls in the spring. Hubby says we will remove it when it wears out....it has been 5 years now....I am thinking of sabatoging it somehow.
Glad you are in your new house.
Plant a garden...you will soon see plenty more deer sign and probably even a deer or two...along with some ticks. Enjoy!
LOL! Your realtor must have been quite confused when he received the ringtone.
ReplyDeleteAh, nothing like some real embarassment to end the day. Good memories, Tay, good memories.
ReplyDeleteAlong the "Jason" lines, we have Dan's in our family. Both my brother and my brother-in-law are Daniels, and it is quite confusing for my poor children with two uncle Dan's. Also, every single one of my 4 nephew's middle name is Dan. Seriously, people, let's be a little original! It's is also my husband's middle name, but we chose not to use it for our son due do the excessive use already! :)
Good luck on the cent vac, I don't know anything about it!
I do not share your heart of carpet...only our bedroom has carpet. Carpet is clean for about the first 2 seconds after it is put down. Have you ever been watching when carpet gets pulled up??? Nasty! But, my husband wanted to be sure when he got out of bed in the mornings that the floor would not be cold. We live in Southern Mississippi. We may have one day out of every year when the floor might be a little chilly. Silly boys.
ReplyDeleteHow fun! I didn't realize you already got boxes and furniture delivered. Thanks for the pix.
ReplyDeleteNo trash pick up? Do you get mail? Or fire service?
ReplyDeleteHow did I not know that Paul Bunyan was a LJ? So appropriate!
ReplyDeleteNo garbage service? Okay, now we are talking a level of "rural" that I cannot quite relate to...
ReplyDeleteTexting can be handy, but also hazardous. It's a tricky, tricky world we live in...
You always make me laugh!
ReplyDeleteJust want to let you know that I love checking my email every morning because just maybe I will get a notification that you have a new post. They sure brighten my day and usually give me a good laugh! Thanks :)
ReplyDelete