Don't be hate-in.

Oh my dear heavens me.

I have completely neglected my Comment of the Week (COW) portion of my blog.

My lameness, I am sure, has resulted in devastation, as well as bewilderment in your worlds.

I mean . . . what is life without the COW?

Am I right or am I right?

I am sure you were utter-ly disappointed.

ha!  Dang it that was funny.

Ok.

So this week's goes to Jill on my post  "The post in which I drone on and on pointlessly":

"I’m very impressed with your rig–and slightly jealous. I drive a 12-passenger Diesel van. People stare at me when I drive by. I can’t park it very well. On the plus side, I have run over things with it and never hurt the vehicle. I can’t say as much for the things I ran over. I almost ran over a Prius this morning. I think my diesel presence offended the driver more than the fact that he almost met his maker. Or not."

Jill!  We drive diesel rigs together!

Do you live in constant fear that you will forget your rig is diesel and will one day fill it with regular gasoline, causing your main man to hate you forever?

I sure do.

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

Since I am sure you are all jealous of my diesel rig, I thought I would show you something else to make you jealous of me.

That's right.

Don't be hate-in.

Or is it hatin'.  Or hatein?

Moving on.

Would you like a lovely washer and dryer set complete with pedestals for your home?

Here's how you do it:

1)  Buy a new house.

2)  Don't sell your old house and keep it for a vacation rental!  (this is key) 

3)  Have your husband break out all his muscles and move your current washer and dryer to your new house. 

4)  Applaud after he invites you to the gun show.

5)  Since you are keeping your old house as a vacation rental, you now need another set.  Scour Craigslist for days on end for something . . . anything . . . that will work as a washer and dryer for your old house.

6)  Become discouraged and dismayed when nothing cheap, clean, cute, and matching pops up.

7)  Stand by quietly while husband informs you that there is a set of High Efficiency machines with all the bells and whistles, as well as pedestals and a shoe drying rack in a lovely navy blue color.

8)  Agree that it is the only option.  Shake your head in financial dismay while inside your heart is bursting with laundry-like joy.

9)  Help your husband load your old washer and dryer back into the truck. 

Pray you won't get a divorce after this stressful situation.

10)  Fact:  Lumberjill will never be inviting anyone to any gun shows.

Are you confused?  Do you know what the gun show is?  I am going to need a "10-4 Good Buddy" from anyone who gets the gun show jokes.

Over and out.

11)  Assist husband in moving old washer and dryer back to old house.

Again.

Pray for marital peace and serenity.

Serenity Now!

(Name that TV Show)

12)  Assist husband in breaking the knob off of old washer.

*sigh*

13)  Allow husband to break out all his muscles again to set up your new fancy machines.  Thank your lucky stars that his brother,Alex, and brother-in-law, Jack, are there this time to help.

I'll tell you one thing that ain't two things . . .

I sure like them.

Is it not sad that I am at a point in my life where things like washers and dryers excite me?

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

Here are a few shots from Little Dude's Birthday!

Precious.

Simply precious.

Attention Little Dude:  Regarding growing up . . . please cease and desist.

Reason #487 why I am a superb mother:

I had no time to bake a cake.

That there is a pan of brownies with strawberries and cool whip hastily thrown on top.

Reason #488 why I am a superb mother:

I forgot candles.

The Lumberjack stuck stick matches in the cake and lit them.

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

And now, dear readers, a lesson in "Deer-ness" by Lumberjill.

In yesterday's post, I mentioned how I did not know if this deer:

was a boy or a girl.

Here are the facts that I know of about deer:

1)  That deer is young.  Too young to yet have antlers.  I think.

2)  I think most male deers lose their antlers every year and grow new ones.

3)  Sometimes they get something called "velvet" growing on their antlers.

4)  Babies have spots.  Don't shoot spotted deer!  It ain't cool!

5)  The does all just recently had fawns.  Therefore, that was probably a male since no baby was with it.

6)  There are two types of deer round-here-these-parts:  white-tail and mule.  Those are white-tail. 

I do believe.

7)  Lumberjacks get uber excited if they see deer with large antlers, particularly in the hunting season times, and most especially while holding a firearm.

So, there you have it.

Deer information.

I just done my Lumberjack proud.

*Random-Topic-Quick-Change!*

Would you like to know what the worst sound in the world is?

Hearing your dog throw up at 5:30 in the morning right next to the baby monitor.

That, my friends, is the worst sound.

Ever.

I dare, nay, I double-dog-dare you to come up with a more horrific sound than that.

Happy Monday!