Fun Fact: I have never seen that movie. Nor do I know what it is about.
***
Handsome Dude
Little Dude, aka Cokey.
You may ask, "Taylor. Why is your son called Cokey?"
Well, dear readers, I don't know.
But Handsome Dude, who is a stubborn dude, has been calling him that for a while.
So, we all call him Cokey. Except for The Lumberjack.
He refuses.
That Lumberjack.
Sometimes he can be a grumpy gus.
This morning I had a delightful breakfast conversation with my boys.
And since this excitement is, in fact, my life, I thought I would share it with you.
Please.
Try not to be jealous.
Not everyone can have this thrill-ride for a life.
***
Me: Can you say, "More milk, please?"
Boys: Pleeeeeaaase!
Me: Can you say, "Love you Mommy!"
Boys: No.
Me: What? Cokey, do you love Mommy?
Little Dude, aka Cokey: No!
Me: Handsome Dude? Do you love Mommy?
Handsome Dude: No! I not! Sweet Pea likes you.
Sweet Pea is my oldest. She is currently sleeping.
Let us have a moment of applause for Sweet Pea while we bemoan the fact that the boys woke up at 5:51am.
Thank you.
Me: Why don't you love me?
Handsome Dude: Cokey!
Little Dude: No!
Hmmm. That made sense.
Me: Is your oatmeal yummy?
Handsome Dude: Nope.
Little Dude: Ow!
There was absolutely nothing wrong with him. He was just trying to get out of eating his nutritious breakfast his mother so lovingly prepared for him.
Whatever, Little Dude.
What.
Ever.
Me: Why did you spit your oatmeal out?
Handsome Dude: I no like it.
Me: What should we do today?
HD (short for Handsome Dude. Keep up, people!): Get shoes! There are shoes at the grocery store!
Me: We just got you shoes yesterday.
And it was a horrific experience with several meltdowns, tears, and one Handsome Dude laying prostrate in a fit of fury on the floor of Payless Shoe Source.
Good times.
HD: Where? Here? We can go to Target.
Me: No. We already bought you shoes. You don't need shoes. What should we do today?
Handsome Dude gets out of his seat and tries to climb on my head.
Don't fear for me.
This is the way my monster shows love.
HD: We get shoes mommy. My shoes. Your shoes. There are shoes at the grocery store, Mommy. Mommy! How about we get some shoes, Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY! MOM-My!
Me: What?
HD: We can get some shoes.
Me: No. We already got some.
HD: Where.
I fear Handsome Dude's cognitive thinking skills are below par.
Me: What else could we get at the grocery store?
HD: Mommy's coffee! I hold Mommy's coffee and put it in the cart. It's time for bye-bye.
He runs and puts on his shoes.
Ironically, they are the shoes we just bought yesterday.
At Payless.
You know.
Expect more. Pay less. Payless.
Me: No. The girls are still asleep.
HD: Can we ride our bikes?
Me: It's like 6:45 am.
HD: It's cold?
Me: Yes.
I am a liar. It is not cold.
I am simply lazy and do not want to go open up the shop to retrieve his bike.
Besides.
It is not even 7am yet.
Who, in their right mind, would want to exercise at that hour?
HD: It's cold with the trees?
Me: Yes.
See? Liar.
Me: Cokey! What do you want to do today?
Little Dude: heeheeeheee-nah? Huh?
I fear Little Dude's verbal skills are below par.
Me: Cokey?
Little Dude: Mama!
Me: What do you want to do today?
Little Dude: No! Hi! Mama!
Me: Handsome Dude, do you see any deer outside?
HD: No. I close window up.
This means he is opening the window.
Keep up, people!
Me: Cokey. Don't spill your milk on your tray.
Handsome dude: Jesus and God!
Well.
That was random.
Me: Does Jesus love you?
HD: No. Jesus love Cokey.
Me: Jesus loves you too.
HD: No. He scary. And mean. Jesus naughty.
I fear I have fallen behind in teaching Handsome Dude about . . . everything.
He leads a confused life.
Me: No. Jesus is not naughty.
HD: YESSSSS! Jesus wee naughty!
Me: No. He is not.
HD throws himself on the floor in a fit of fury and despair.
HD: No! He naughty!
And that, my friends, was my breakfast with the boys.
Don't pretend you weren't thrilled that I shared.
Happy Monday.
just noticed your new pic at the top, love it!! =)
ReplyDeleteI think I have had that very same conversation with my children!
ReplyDeletetaylor, you must go watch the breakfast club!!
ReplyDeleteSilly boys!
ReplyDeletehahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteand that is all i have to say.
:)
You must watch The Breakfast Club - it will show you a new way to put on lipstick.
ReplyDelete5:51? Benedryl....
Love the new pic, but I think you should take one where you tell the kids to make funny faces..
Your Dude conversations are scintillating and amusing. Much better than the ones I have with my dog every morning
The reason why you've never seen The Breakfast Club is because you've only turned 29 one time! You young thing, you!
ReplyDeleteYou might try my little trick and put blankets over their windows at night to darken their rooms in the morning.... this has minimized the 5 AM wake-ups at my house.... that's all I've got for ya. I don't know what to tell you about Jesus being naughty...
ReplyDeleteYour post reminds me of the chaotic conversation with my sister the other day. You can read about it on my blog. Before kids I'll bet you never thought your life would be this exciting!
ReplyDeleteOh please you have some if the best behaved little boys I've ever seen. Infact i've been thinking you must be doing something ...so could we trade Boys for a week... it would be like wifeswap show but instead we could son swap I would even take both yours for Fisher now that a fair trade right. Huh huh ?? Sigh
ReplyDeleteConversations with my boys make about that much sense. The problem? My boys range in age from 21 to 10. And they still don't make sense, although they have stopped climbing on my head to show me love. Instead they give me hugs while they are dripping with sweat and stink. Good times, LumberJill. Good times.
ReplyDeleteYour boys are cute. You must have the patience of a saint. I always said I never told a lie until I had kids. ;)
ReplyDeleteLove it! Little boys.. I'm not sure you want to get inside their heads!
ReplyDeleteoh, you can get sound machines at target, but a box fan on setting 2 or 3 does the trick, too!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Lani. If my children awoke at that hour I would probably run away from home. We all have light blocking shades in our windows. They are precious, wonderful things. Also, white noise...my kids like the ocean setting but starting out I would use the waterfall setting because I hate the ocean setting...it has seagulls and I cannot stand intermittent noises. I have some sensory integration issues. Can you tell? But even my highly sensitive middle child sleeps wonderful in this setting. She is a whole different child when she's slept as well as she does in her dark, white noise filled room! You are such a trooper to be up so early, girlfriend...mom of the YEAR!
ReplyDeleteThe Breakfast Club is one of my favorites.
ReplyDeleteI've spent the day with my almost 20 year old...we had deep conversations too : )
Wow. How did you manage to keep up?
ReplyDeleteMarla @ www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com
Taylor, I don't know how YOU keep up, let alone us :p Thank goodness for Sweet Pea :)
ReplyDeleteI've never seen the Breakfast Club either... its because I'm so young too :)
ReplyDeleteCould your boys be any cuter?! I think not.
I've never watched all of Breakfast Club, either. I've seen very small bits and pieces, but never the whole thing or any significant part of it.
ReplyDeleteLove the boys!!
When your flowergirls got up, what time was it? And then, did you immediately put them in charge of the dudes so that you could take a nap? That's what I would do, and my oldest is 5.
ReplyDeletewow! that's some heavy breakfast conversation!! =) happy monday!!
ReplyDeleteCoffee yet? Tea maybe?
ReplyDeleteBreakfast at 6:45? I make mine starve until I can function, closer to 8. We are up 6ish...just not being fed anything other than my tea and their milk. We are slow that way.
um, if you watched the movie I guarantee you would use numerous quotes for your blog. Others...not so much.
ReplyDeleteI bet the angels got a kick out of watching you trying to get your little one to stop saying that Jesus is naughty. Heck, Jesus was probably giggling too. Now, if Lumber Jack starts saying it then you have a real problem. :)
Thanks for the bedtime chuckle!
ReplyDeleteLord, have mercy! I vividly remember these conversations with my 2 oldest when they were little during the wee hours of the morning. Any mom who is up at that hour somehow having that very conversation (sort-of) with her children deserves a couple of hours of solitude to watch The Breakfast Club.
ReplyDeleteI think that went very well, very well indeed!
ReplyDeleteA) "The Breakfast Club" is worth watching because it's a great movie and because the music is awesome.
ReplyDeleteB) Riding a bike is not technically called "exercise" for young children. It's called "burning off this thing called energy before I literally implode." My son exercises nonstop. He's like the Richard Simmons of our household (I can't BELIEVE I just compared my son to Richard Simmons.)
Ditto on the white noise! I use box fans...
ReplyDelete