Back in November, I decided to go on Weight Watchers.
I acquired two accountability partners, whom I lovingly refer to as my two mean friends.
Since then, we have gained another mean friend.
And, as a result of this, there are presently three people in this world who know exactly how many pounds I weigh.
Oh, and the entire pediatrics office.
But that weigh in does not count, since I hadn't cleaned out my ear wax or taken off my boots.
Anyways . . .
I started this diet in November.
And I had a little trouble committing to my goals.
Mostly because I really want to eat one of these:
For they are God's gift to cheeseburgers.
But I have not eaten one of those delicious sandwiches for months and months.
And I did fairly well on the diet.
I lost about 4 pounds.
But then Christmas came.
And I have put on 3.8 pounds back.
Darn.
So, now we have to start all over again.
I am focusing on firming up my tummy area.
It has gotten a little fluffy.
You know . . . on account of these creatures:
They have forever ruined my bikini body . . . not that I ever had one.
So, I am always frustrated with my tummy.
One day, The Lumberjack came home from work and informed me of some news he had heard on Dr. Laura.
Dr. Who?
Wow.
The Lumberjack listens to Dr. Laura.
Who knew?
Someone had called in and was complaining of tummy fat.
Dr. Laura recommended something called the weighted hula hoop.
"Hey, Hon."
That's me! He calls me hon!
"You need to get a weighted hula hoop. Dr. Laura said."
Now, when your stomach fat gets so bad that your husband has resorted to listening to talk radio and he is now giving you fitness tips, it is time for you to get up and do something about it.
So, this is now my life:
Alert: that is not the Lumberjack's Wife in the above picture.
I repeat.
That is not me.
This is me:
Anyways, you are supposed to exercise with this thing for 10 minutes twice a day.
But by golly, it hurts!
My hips are totally bruised.
My neck hurts.
My head hurts.
My shoulder hurts.
Can this be normal?
Perhaps I am using it wrong.
I am about to introduce my three mean friends to another plump friend and go eat me one of these:
Because I am 92% sure my stomach fat will never leave me.
And my neck hurts.
100 (meaningless) points to anyone who can tell me why my neck hurts.
200 (meaningless) points to anyone who can tell me of a surefire way to lose this tummy
1 million (meaningless) points to anyone who can score me a free tummy tuck.
Name that reality tv mom.
I can not answer any of your questions today. In fact, if you find out the answer to number 2, please let me know...and hook me up with whoever can answer number 3! Good luck with your diet! I'm right there with you! Well...not right there...I'm over here in fact, but I am on my own diet so I sympathize. :)
ReplyDeletekate, of course!! I guess you would have to have 4 more kids to score one of those... where did you get a weighted hula hoop??
ReplyDelete1) You tried the weighted hula hoop around your neck?
ReplyDelete2) Well, lots of stomach crunches. And planks. My word, how I hate planks.
The aerobics instructor at my gym told me that you need to do ab workouts every day for 6 months before you see some results.
I believe her-- she has awesome abs. And I'm not even a lesbian.
I was thinking of doing this as a new year's resolution. 8 minute abs every day for 6 months. Want in? We're only 7 days late for starting.
3) Kate Gosselin
Thanks for the amazing sweet comments! I am going to attempt to answer some of your questions. Your neck might hurt because you might be holding it really tight or straining it while your doing the hula hoop. I don't think I can score you a tummy tuck. However, my Aunt Andrea, whom you already know, and I both own a 10 minute pilates dvd.
ReplyDeleteHere is a link to it from Target: http://www.target.com/10-Minute-Solution-Sculpt-Pilates/dp/B002KUZOD6/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&searchView=grid5&frombrowse=0&node=1259488011&keywords=10%20minute%20pilates&field_browse=1259488011&searchSize=30&id=10%20Minute%20Solution%20Sculpt%20Pilates&field_availability=-2&refinementHistory=subjectbin%2Ctarget_com_age%2Ctarget_com_gender-bin%2Ctarget_com_character-bin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin&searchNodeID=1259488011&field_launch-date=-1y&searchRank=target104545&searchPage=1&field_keywords=10%20minute%20pilates
What I love about it is, I don't have to do all the work out and I can do just what I have time for. And I do get a good workout in just 10 minutes and it doesn't seem to be too difficult that I dread doing it. Good luck on your belly fluff! I'm trying to tackle that too!
A weighted hula hoop just sounds painful. For stubborn belly fat my doctor simply recommended adding five apples, with the skin on, to my daily diet. I have one at breakfast, mid morning, lunch, afternoon and dinner. I forget exactly why but he swears it helps with stubborn belly fat. Now onto the more burning question… does The Lumberjack always turn into Dr. Laura’s show? Or was this a onetime deal? *lol*
ReplyDeleteI am currently working on a new way to live and diet as well. I feel your pain with the fluffy stomach issue. I love the kids, I hate what used to be a once, very flat stomach. I hope someday that my long lost relative who loved me from a distance will die leaving me with an amazing fortune so I will then be able to afford my tummy tuck. Until then, I will try crunches and keeping it covered!
ReplyDeleteI can't even do a regular hula hoop. I'm sure the weighted one would be a disaster.
ReplyDeleteI just wrote about my sad abdominal muscles on my blog today. The big mac is looking good right about now.
So I am totally not the plastic surgery/botox type (I know, you are surprised...) but I would TOTALLY go for a tummy tuck- and not feel bad about it! ... but then I'd probably end up gaining all the weight back- so it's pointless!
ReplyDeleteLet me know any time you want to meet for a cheeseburger- I'm down!
There's a possibility I'll be living in CDA circa September for a few months in which case we should take a pilates class twice a week. Pilates is really good for your core area. It's a combination of stretches, repetitive movements and muscle strengthening. You definitely get sore but it's a great way to stretch and I found it helps with being more flexible for other types of exercise.
ReplyDeleteI haven't gone in many months on account of the falling out I had with my pilates partner. I am hoping that if you were my pilates partner we would not have a falling out.
One word honey - spandex.........................
ReplyDeleteI am looking for another copy of windsor pilates on ebay. I did them after the twins and had the best abs of my life. It was amazingly difficult, and impossible at best, but I stuck with it and it delivered! Now I'm just doing as many of the exercises as I can remember. In addition to the reverse crunch you shoud look into the bicycle crunch, it works upper and lower abs as well as obliques, talk about multi-tasking. Many dvd's have stomach exercise sections and I have found some at our local library. They are great for good ideas on new exercises to mix in, as well as a good visual for proper form.
ReplyDeletep.s. I think you need to ditch the hula-hoop doll!
GOSSELIN!!!!!!!!! I love my reality tv. And a weighed hula hoop - that sounds like no joke. I am impressed by you.
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends and I just started our diets today too. Weigh in was brutal! I too remember the days when I got to wear skinny jeans and my belly didn't shake like a bowl full of jelly. I too blame the children. lol I too would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE a tummy tuck - even asked doctor (half jokingly) for one when they were sewing me back up from 3rd c-section. She didn't do it though - maybe because she is an OB and not plastic surgeon, but I was willing to take my chances. lol Anyway, good luck from staying away from delicious looking cheeseburger. I, myself, have to now go lock up all the chocolate.
ReplyDeleteI would love a tummy tuck and would never judge anyone for having one. The problem with me would be where to stop???? It would be like fixing up a room or painting one wall--the rest looks so bad you feel the need to keep on improving!
ReplyDeleteI thought Belly Fluff was just here to stay after having babies. But then mine wasn't flat to begin with. And I hate exercise so that might be it.
And you are beautiful, by the way! (and I'm not even a lesbian, Erin! that comment cracked me up!)
And Michelle, does the five apples a day work?
Okay, I have a belly that was fluffy at birth. My youngest child is 35 years old and I am still battling the "fluff" - and that's with having a personal trainer and very "strong" abdominal muscles. So I'm thinking about a non-invasive laser procedure - not "minimally invasive" as that is still inasive and I don't want to go there. It's spendy. It's not an actual "need" in my life. But I want it. And yes, I will give up the cheeseburger for it. It's on my Santa wish-list.....
ReplyDeleteI am totes in. Give me the details.
ReplyDeleteAmazon. :)
ReplyDeleteI am loving all these new flowy tops . . . and baby doll type styles these days.
ReplyDeleteIt helps with the hiding!
Thanks! I will check it out! I think I probably am holding my neck wrong. I don't know how though. :(
ReplyDeleteDon't be impressed by me.
ReplyDeleteYou will be disappointed.
I believe that my Lumberjack is, in fact, quite the fan of Dr. Laura. :)
ReplyDeleteDon't tell me belly fluff is there to stay! That is so sad.
ReplyDelete5 apples seems extreme, doesn't it?
:)
A falling out . . . yes . . . that would be a shame.
ReplyDeleteIs it possible for us to have a falling out?
What would we fall out over?
Thoughts?
The belly fluff is not there to stay, despite what my sister Dawn said. I'm with Sarah on the Pilates. Here's the deal. Yes, some of the exercises may be VERY tough to start, but I can tell you that of all things that I've ever done, I got more visible results from Pilates. I mean, seriously, people coming up and asking me what I was doing to lose weight...Pilates! It's great for developing long, lean muscle. I started with Windsor. Try it. Love it. See results in a matter of weeks...Not six months like Erin suggested. Go for it! Have fun!
ReplyDeleteWhew! That was a REALLY long comment!
Aw, honey. Do I ever feel your pain. I was a horrible WW partner...I could talk a cardiologist into a Big Mac if I were desperate enough. If you discover the secret to permanently getting rid of the baby bump (the one that doesn't actually have a baby behind it) do tell.
ReplyDeleteBTW...found you from PW's site, your blog is super cute! =)
Mindy
www.thesuburbanlife.com
LOL Taylor, you are hilarious! Just to make you feel better, not EVERYONE at the ped's office know how much you weigh. :P Actually I bet none of us do besides the doc and nurse, dont worry!
ReplyDeleteI'm giving you a million meaningful points for not being like that meanie, Kate. Don't get me started on those two. Wait, you already did. Dang it!
ReplyDeleteWe start today!
ReplyDeleteI'll e-mail you with the 8 minute breakdown. Do you have your address on your blog somewhere? I'll look for it, if not send it to me...
eschore@hotmail.com
Oh, and you can't back out, because I already committed you on my blog ;)
Woohoo, a hula~hoop...really? I bet ya didn't know I am the hula~hoop queen. I often get them out in Kids Church just to wow the kids. Yep, at age 57 this Ozarks farm chick still has some hula in her hoop!!! Heeeheehe!
ReplyDeleteHave a great day and may God bless ya'll!!!
I used to go to pilates with Katherine. And I think that, as sisters, if we do have a falling out, we have an obligation to each other and our family to deal with it promptly and maintain our pilates routine.
ReplyDeleteAsk your mom. 8 minutes to a flat tummy. I sent her that instruction book last year. Seriously, the hula hoop I think would really trim the curve in the waistline at the sides, but I think you need different muscles used for the abdomen area. Meagan's idea sounds way good too. Still, you might take a look at the "8 minutes..." book. You can probably even get it at the library. Good luck. I admire your effort. The good thing is it can be done at home with the kids.
ReplyDeleteWorking your core muscles can be hard, but believe me, it can give you that six-pack. You might not keep the 6-pack if you eat too many of those burgers though. LOL!
ReplyDeleteLove it! Cracked me up the whole time:) I'm with ya! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDo you actually have that weighted hula hoop? That's it, I want one! And I want one now!
ReplyDeleteI'm torn between wanting to try the hula hoop...and wanting a burger!
ReplyDeleteCxx
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