Mayday! Mayday!
I'm drowning.
I repeat.
I am drowning in the river.
Here is how day 3 went down:
Handsome Dude woke up dry.
This was encouraging to my soul.
I sat him on the toilet and he wailed and cried and wailed and cried.
Then he made a little peepee.
This, too, was encouraging to my soul.
So, he got up and went into the living room and about 15 minutes later he was standing in a puddle of urine.
Why?
Why not.
Handsome Dude had an eye appointment scheduled at 9.
You will all be pleased to know that the Lumberjack found Handsome Dude's glasses underneath the entertainment center, along with 10 million dust bunnies, a hanger, a Matchbox car, and Sweet Pea's spare set of glasses.
Let's hear it for the Lumberjack:
Look at him and all his handsomeness.
So . . .
I put Handsome Dude in a pull-up.
I am not yet ready to venture out into the world with him in his undies.
The world is not yet ready for him to venture out with him in his undies.
Trust me.
There are not enough sanitizing products out there to handle that job.
As we are waiting, I decided to take him into the bathroom to see if he can try to go.
This is, in fact, Handsome Dude's first experience in any sort of public restroom.
And Little Dude's.
We walk in and both of the stalls are occupied.
And both boys try to crawl under the doors and into the stalls.
Fabulous.
Luckily, the handicapped stall opens up first and we take it.
I figure we have every right to.
Thoughts?
So I plop my Handsome Dude's tiny hiney on that large, germy, off-white colored bathroom commode.
He is now experiencing a crash-course lesson in balancing.
And then Handsome Dude does what he does every time he gets on the toilet: nothing.
He sits.
He smiles.
He grins.
He smooches.
He does not pee.
Why would he do that?
While we are waiting, Little Dude is exploring the bathroom stall.
He is rubbing the toilet.
He is smoothing the floor with his hands.
He is getting a little too curious about the trash can.
Are you familiar with this trash can?
You know.
The silver one mounted on the wall of the bathroom stall?
Oh, the horror.
Now, mind you, if I let go of Handsome Dude, he will fall down into the murky waters.
Yet, if I don't stop Little Dude, he will surely come in contact with some sort of infectious germy something-or-other.
Oh, the horror.
And was this trip to the public bathroom worth it?
No, my dear readers.
It certainly wasn't.
For my Handsome Dude produced not one bit of nothing on that toilet seat.
*sigh*
Handsome Dude had 3 successful bathroom trips today.
And 4.2 million unsuccessful trips.
Potty Training Day 3: Gross/Disgusting/Germified and Discouraged FAIL
I take the handicap stall all the time with kids. Some now even have a childs seat where you could buckle little dude in and keep him less germy. I <3 those bathrooms!
ReplyDeleteYou may have spoiled my dinner.
ReplyDeleteIt has to be a major emergency before I will put my children on a public toilet. Ugh. And they all have been trained to raise their hands over their head as soon as we walk in so that I am certain they won't touch anything. Okay, I admit, that may be a little much. But seriously. Gross. Yuck. Germs.
I sincerely hope that you took Little Dude home and bathed him in Hydrogen Peroxide!! :P
Do ya wanna know my philosophy on potty training?
ReplyDeleteDon't do it.
That's it. Just don't do it.
They will eventually figure it out. If he volunteers to go, take him, if not, stick with the diaper. Make a big deal when he actually uses the toilet. Express disappointment with wet diapers. Pea before and after sleeping and before bathing.
Before you know it, Handsome Dude will potty trained and you will still be sane!
Or, do whatever you want. It's your kids. They will all potty train. I just refused to do it after the nightmare I put myself through with my oldest, who was just like your Handsome Dude. Yes, she was potty trained, but it was not fun. My youngest I did the above, and she potty trained herself!
Ok was this post directed at trying to make Brandi shudder and have nightmares for the rest of her life!
ReplyDeleteContact with germs keeps the immune system revved and working! I'm sure that's a medical fact..... I believe mothers with small children are indeed entitled to the handicapped stall because they are, in fact, handicapped in a way!
ReplyDeleteOk LJW,
ReplyDeleteBoys HATE potty training, HAAATE IT!! I have a 7 & 5 yr old boys and niether one of them did it willingly. Nothing I did worked. I tried stickers on a big posterboard eachtime they tinkled in the potty, M & Ms (just a couple) as a reward, you name it i did it! The only thing that sparked a little interest from them was putting some cherrios in the toilet for "target" practice. In the end..my boys didn't completely train until they was 4. Don't stress over it. Andi is right...they WILL do it. It will be on thier own time/terms though! UGH !! Good luck!
No, no, no, you dear little mother! This was not a failed potty day. It was definately a disgusting potty day but failed? Not even close!
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great!! Stay the course and buy rubber boots if you must.
Don't give up, friend! I promise you, he will get trained - some day. Part of the training is training us as parents. Training us to be more patient, more diligent, better cleaners :) - while we're training them where #1 and #2 go. We're all trained during poddy training.
ReplyDeleteDo you have one of those portable poddy things that go over a toilet? It's clean and it helps them balance. Balancing strains muscles, which keeps them from relaxing and doing their business. They really can be worried about falling in. Picture us sitting on something half our body size that is filled with water. :)
Also....warm water on a little boy can also help them go tinkle, tinkle little star.
Keep it up, Mommy! You're a great mom and I love how you love your kids.
I certainly would consider two boys ages 2 and under to be a handicap.
ReplyDeleteAlso, for the love of my gag reflex, would you put that baby in a stroller next time so he can't touch the bathroom?
*retch, gag*
I'm a bit of a germaphobe. I think "don't touch anything" was one of the first sentences my son said. I make them repeat it to me every time we enter a public restroom.
Poor you. PT sucks.
Wait! Wait! Wait! 7 successful trips this week? That is awesome! We were working on this for weeks with one of mine before they had seven successes!
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great!
Lord, how I've laughed!! Handsome Dude will be potty trained by the time he's in college. You might try getting a short stool so he can stand for peeing, and put cheerios in the toilet bowl to aim at.
ReplyDeleteAs for germs, believe it or not some exposure to germs is good. The thinking now is that being overly clean is the source of the increase in allergies and asthma. Just wash hands afterwards and try not to worry too much.
BTW, I'm a Pediatric NP, and I've noticed that mom's who are loving and enjoy their children seem to have the greatest kids. You look like you're doing great!!
If it's any consolation you won't even remember this one day. They'll be other stuff that will make you crazy for sure but potty training will be a happy memory because it will be done and you will have chalked it up as a success not a failure.
ReplyDeleteHang in there...and don't leave home without your hand sanitizer.
I AM SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO POTTY TRAINING AND YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO IT, MOM! OR MIKE! I won't even use a public toilet. Yuck. Y.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow will be Day 3 for me of potty training. I too have a Little Dude (aka Monkey) that travels with us to the potty every 5 minutes. He splashes in the big potty, he sticks his foot in the training toilet, he turns the water on in the bathtub, he runs away with the toilet paper. All of that and after THREE days we have only had one success. I swear it's like herding cats. I really want to give up...
ReplyDelete