Oh, pardon me.

Ok.

Yesterday, I wrote out a charming letter to my handsome dude who peed all over himself at 8:51 am.

At the end of that post, I added a picture of my handsome dude moments after he was born.

I received several comments saying that I looked too good for having just had a baby.

And, yes.

Handsome Dude was my easiest delivery.

But Handsome Dude owed it to me.

Let's look at the facts:

1)  He was 9 days overdue.

2)  With him, I developed a heart murmur.

3)  With him I gained 50 pounds (ok . . . I gained 50 pounds with each of them)

4)  With him, I developed varicose veins.

5)  He was my biggest baby: 9 pounds 2 oz

6)  He has been caught throwing dog poo at his sisters

7)  He sprays himself with pee. 

8)  He freaks out when pee is on himself.

9)  He is always breaking his glasses.

10)  He is always losing his glasses.

Do you see what I mean?

The kid had to give me something.

Now, I can't have you all thinking that I look good being pregnant or giving birth.

For that is far, far, far from the truth.

And now, gentle readers, I will take you back in time, beginning with my first pregnancy.

Interruption:  I no longer have a scanner. 

Yes.

I am simply taking pictures of old pictures.

Classy, I know.

Whoa, Nelly!

That's right after my first was born.

Yes.

My stomach still looks huge.

It also looks huge in this picture:

But, I assure you.

There is no baby in there.

That's just the aftermath.

This is a picture of yours truly while pregnant:

Yowsers!

And how about this one, which was taken the day before Sweet Pea was born:

Wow.

I look . . . trim.

And nothing says, "I just had a baby and I need to get started on losing this 50 pounds" like . . .

eating double portions for lunch hours after you had the baby.

Now, here I am moments after giving birth to Daisy Mae.

What is with my eyes?

I mean, I know child-birth can be exerting . . . but why would it cause my eyes to blacken so?

I already showed you the birth picture with Handsome Dude.

Here is the picture with Little Dude:

He's around there somewhere.

I am probably nursing or something.

I loathe nursing.

The Lumberjack knows this.

Which is precisely why he took a picture of me nursing.

So, now, because I enjoy revenge,  I will show you some of the Lumberjack's moments as a new father:

Sleeping.

This was way back in the olden days when I had no idea my Lumberjack was a Lumberjack.

Actually, he is not technically a Lumberjack at all.

He is, in fact, an electrician.

Should I change the name of this blog?

Sleeping.

Sleeping.

Looks like he cut himself on his left eye.

What does he do at work exactly?

Does he not look overjoyed?

The Lumberjack with Little Dude.

He doesn't look happy.

But inside, he is joyous as he is certain this is our last child.

Do you see the scar above his right eye?

What does this man do every day?

Electrical work . . . it's a dangerous job.

Who knew?

And here are a few more pictures to dazzle you:

Oh, dear.

Ahhh . . .  the glory days when I just had two girls and did not have to worry about potty training a little boy and his little unit.

Handsome Dude at 1 week old.

Just look at him.

Sure.

He looks sweet.

But inside he is just waiting . . . waiting to get bigger . . . and busier . . . and naughtier . . . and more stubborn . . . and much  more mischievious . . .

and much more handsome.