Our First Christmas

The Lumberjack and I started dating when I was 17;

He was 18.

We started dating in July.

I was still getting to know his family . . . and he was still getting to know mine.

I was still at that stage where the thought of going over to his house made me super nervous and sweaty.

I kind of felt like this gal:

Mary Katherine Gallagher.

Pop Quiz:  What did the gal used to do when she was nervous?

Anyone?

Anyone?

Well, even though I didn't know how to apply makeup and would randomly cut my eyebrow in half, I at least had the common sense to not do that.

And to wear deodorant.

Anyways . . .

My family had a tradition of going to the movies on Christmas Day.

My mom:

"Wouldn't it be lovely to invite your new Lumberjack and his family to the movies with us today?"

Now, dear readers, my mother did not really call him my Lumberjack.

But for the purposes of this blog, just go with it.

So, I was visiting the Lumberjack and his family on Christmas Day.

In front of his whole family, I invite them to go to a movie with my family.

They all seem receptive to this idea.

They ask which movie.

My parents didn't really care.

They told us to pick either Patch Adams or Jack Frost.

The Lumberjack: "Patch Adams."

My future in-laws: "Well, let's just see what that film is rated."

So, out comes the newspaper.

Now, in all our hours spent chatting on the phone and conversing on dates, the Lumberjack failed to mention that his parents were completely and utterly against seeing any movie that was not rated G or PG.

Patch Adams is not G or PG.

My in-laws: "Sorry, guys.  Looks like this one is rated PG-13."

This was a horrifying moment for me. 

I tried to tell them about Jack Frost, which was conveniently rated PG, but the room was spinning and my cheeks were getting too hot.

I just wanted to go home.

Unbeknownst to me, the Lumberjack had a chat with his mom.

Apparently this chat was done in anger.

And apparently he was able to persuade his mother to change her mind.

I wish the Lumberjack would not chat with others before clearing it with me.

As I was getting ready to leave, she tells us that she and the Lumberjack's dad would join us, but none of their children.

I plead with the Lumberjack to cancel it all.

He refuses.

I beg him to switch it to Jack Frost.

He does not listen.

So, there we were.

In a movie theater.

In one row, my family and the Lumberjack.

And seated right behind me and the Lumberjack:

His parents.

At a PG 13 movie.

Has anyone here ever seen Patch Adams?

Does anyone remember the scene with the gynecologist convention?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls0xhKKXG2g

I wanted to die.

I wanted to crawl under the seat and die.

Thankfully, my in-laws still love me, even though I took them to a questionable movie.

On Christmas.

I am really glad they still loved me.

I had so wanted to make a good impression on them.

I really wanted them to like me.

And by golly, The Lumberjack and Patch Adams were conspiring to sabotage me.

To this day, I have never seen Jack Frost.

I have good in-laws.

We have had lots of fun times together.

***

On a completely unrelated note, I received an email forward from my in-laws.

No, I did not forward it on to anyone else.

I made a committment long ago to stop email forwards dead in their tracks.

And I am doing my part one email forward at a time.

This forward was pretty funny, though.

It was titled:  "Why Boys Need Mothers."

The email contained this picture:

How am I supposed to respond to this?

My in-laws.

Awkward.

***

And in keeping with the theme of jumping around to completely unrelated topics:

My aunt Dana commented that I should have a post where I answer reader's comments and questions.

I am more than happy to do this.

If anyone has questions, that is.

Actually, I would kind of appreciate it.

Today is Day11 of National Blog Posting Month.

And by golly, I would be lying if I didn't say there have been moments where I did not know what to post.

So, bring 'em on.

I know my Aunt Dana's questions.

Does anyone else have a question?

Otherwise, I could just email my aunt.

If you have a question you would like me to answer, just write it in the comments section of this post.

If I get any, I will use it in a post for Friday or Saturday.

Thanks, dudes and dudettes.